


Strange Benefits

by skyekingsleigh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Marauders' Era, Oral Sex, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 08:15:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 47,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17403338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyekingsleigh/pseuds/skyekingsleigh
Summary: In which Milla Rosamund finds herself stuck in quite a compromising position beneath James Potter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd

Platform 9 3/4 had never been as busy as this before. Families littered the ground, saying their adieus while friends reunite by screeching and screaming at each other. The temptation to turn back around and bail was ever present in Milla's mind. If only it wasn't her seventh year already, and if only she wasn't elected Head Girl.

It had been a welcomed surprise to the Rosamund family that a muggleborn, especially at times as dark as these, such as Milla would be Head Girl. It is no secret that he-who-must-not-be-named held special resentment to non-purebloods and blood traitors alike. It was also quite the controversy in the paper that Dumbledore has selected the two heads coming from the same house: Gryffindor. To say that the other three houses were a little more than annoyed would be an understatement. Milla paid no attention to such rumors going around, though. Being Head Girl on top of her NEWTs and her recent break up with her long term best friend, short term boyfriend, Cormac, Dumbledore's apparent bias and the Dark Lord's hatred shouldn't really be something a 17 year old girl such as her should worry about.

The train seemingly let out an impatient smoke as well as noise, forcing Milla to bid farewell to her parents and take hold of her baggage and her owl, Juniper. "I'll see you for the holidays, Mum, Da."

"You better write every two weeks, darling!" Marion, her mother, reminded. With a final hug and wave, she made her way to the train.

Whispers, as she had expected, greeted her the minute her foot boards the Hogwarts Express. Ignoring the immaturity her schoolmates posses, Milla puts her focus on finding a compartment where she could later on change into her robes before the meeting with the prefects and Head Boy. Seventh year was going to suck, and she knew it. Her brother had graduated last year along with their mutual friends, and Cormac and her aren't talking anymore; that leaves Milla all alone on her last school year. It had been too late to realize that your boyfriend being your only friend in the same year as you was bound to be a disaster.

At the second hour of traveling, she put on her school robes, the Head Girl badge proudly sticking out against the black cloth. She proceeded to go to the prefects' compartment for the meeting that she had been preparing for the minute she got the badge. Almost every prefect were already there, from the fifth years to the seventh, the only two missing are... of course.

The 2/4 of the "Marauders" as they call themselves. Milla would think that Remus Lupin would make quite a Head Boy, but the scarred lad remained prefect for their last school year. To her utter surprise, the title went to none other than James Fleamont Potter, Hogwarts' resident prankster and captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Now, it's not like she knew the boy personally. She had almost identical time tables as him since first year, but they never became close; just mere acquaintances. She had talked to Remus a few times over the years, mostly about homework and notes he seemed to be missing almost always every month, but that's the extent of their friendship. The two were part of the infamous Marauders, though. Girls fawn over their feet and professors swear at their existence. They have quite the reputation. Given as Potter was Head Boy, the meeting couldn't start without the bloody late git.

It was exactly sixteen minutes and a few apologies from Milla later when the two showed up, slightly out of breath. The situation could have been funny as they looked like they had just snogged each other silly, if not for the important fact that Milla hated waiting, absolutely loathed it. The glare she sent them was quite the first impression.

"Good job being late for the first meeting, Potter, Lupin." Lily Evans, another prefect from Gryffindor's seventh years, commented with a roll of her eyes.

"Why?" The raven-haired boy winked. "You missed me over the summer, Evans?"

"I miss not being able to see your bloody insufferable face."

Milla raised her eyebrows at their obvious flirting, and interrupted the pair with a clap of her hands, getting the attention of everyone. "Alright. Potter," she nodded to the seat beside her. "Get in here and let's start. First of all, I'm Milla Rosamund...."

Introductions of each other and of the basic school rules that should be seen to be followed took up most of their time, as well as the instructions on how to properly guide the first years with no regards to whichever house they're sorted in. James, surprisingly, had been a very good co-leader throughout the meeting, with only a few cheeky comments to spare.

"I guess that's it, then. Male prefects will report to James after every rounds, while female prefects will report to me." Milla added after their conclusion.

James, who had just finished winking (for the nth time) to Evans, said, "You can all go back to your compartments now. But make sure to tell everyone on the way to change to their robes, we'll be arriving in half an hour. You're dismissed."

The prefects all scrambled their way out of the compartment, leaving Milla, James, and Remus (who was waiting for James by the door) to themselves. The Head Girl turned to the mischievous boy and quirked an eyebrow. "Not bad today, Potter."

"You too, Rosamund. You too."

Milla let a smile escape her lips before she heard the other Gryffindor boy complain by the door. "C'mon, Prongs! Padfoot just may be eating all my chocolates by now!"

"Shut up, Moony, you impatient git!"

With that, the two marauders left the girl on her own.


	2. Chapter 2

Game season could not come near enough for James Fleamont Potter. This was his last school year, and he planned to go out with a bang (see also: a massive prank with the boys and taking home the house cup for Gryffindor). Tryouts for the two open positions were two weeks away, the team lacking a seeker—although there had been, albeit desperate, instances when James stepped in for the position— and a chaser. And how can he forget about the upcoming full moon the day of the tryouts as well? Although already licensed to apparate, the marauders still aren't registered animagi. This was bound to be a stressful year.

The last of the seventh year prefects, Remus and a girl from Ravenclaw he was too sleepy to remember the name of, made their way inside his Head Boy office for the nightly report just as the clock behind his desk strikes 11 pm. Tiredness tugged at his eyelids but the hazel-eyed boy forced upon his face a smile. It was clear that the eldest prefects had things rough compared to the lower years. Their rounds lasted much later, and on top of their NEWTs, they needed all the sleep they could get. Still, their job was easier as opposed to the Head Boy and Girl. They had to take down every report and submit them to the headmaster every morning, resulting in a very troublesome sleeping schedule.

"–but we've escorted the poor girl to the Hospital Wing immediately. So far, that's the only shenanigan caught this evening." The girl, Rowan, James recalled, finished up.

"Alright, you go and head back to your dorm, Rowan. It's bloody late," he teased. "Moony, a word?"

The pair waited for the girl to walk out completely before resuming to their talk. Remus sat himself on the desk before frowning. "You alright there, mate?"

James sighed. "Yeah, just tired is all. How are you lot doing without me? Must be hell."

"A hell less pain in my ass, sure." The scarred boy scoffed. "What is it you want to talk about, anyways?"

The Head Boy took of his black framed glasses and wiped at his drowsy eyes. "Nothin', just wanted to catch up. I've missed the lads, it's not the same being alone in a dorm."

"Don't go all dramatic on me, now, Prongs. Besides, we miss you too. Sirius took it upon himself to wake up half the house by sobbing your name every night the first week."

"How about my Lily flower? Has she said anything about missing me?" Despite the fatigue, the boy managed to perk up at the thought, but his shoulders slumped by the shake of his best friend's head.

With a glance at his wrist watch, the boy frowned. "You should go, Rem. It's almost half an hour 'till midnight, plus the full moon's coming up soon. You should rest. I'll see you lads at the great hall for breakfast tomorrow."

James could not explain the relief he felt when his back finally hit his new comfy bed. One of the perks about having his own dorm was the bigger and definitely fluffier bed, he supposed.

He hadn't always been a very concerned friend. He was a prankster, and chose to lean towards jokes in serious situations. But not being able to spend time with his three best friends every night, on top of all his new obligations and Lily rejecting his every attempt to go out with her, he matured a bit. A bit. Plus, it would be embarrassing for ole Dumbledore to have his Head Boy get detention every week for his infamous pranks. This didn't mean he hasn't planned anything yet, though. In fact, it only encouraged the boy to be more discrete but definitely not stop entirely. After all, he had to live up to being one of Hogwarts' Marauders, right?

He briefly wondered if he had enough energy to force himself out of bed and enjoy a bath at this time of night. The truth was the last time he bathed was probably yesterday, and he was still wearing his school robes. Stifling a groan, he brought his protesting body up. Tossing his clothes off around the room, he stripped until stark naked and only opted to wrap a towel around his waist when the thought of running into Filch naked crossed his mind. He shuddered outwardly. Lazily, the 17 year old boy made his way to the Prefects' bathroom.

He often pride himself with how his body turned out over the years of playing Quidditch. His toned stomach managed to stay fit despite the number of snacks he couldn't help but munch on whenever Peter was around. His arms were especially bulged with muscles from him being the chaser, and his legs were strong from the control he had when riding a broom. Over all, James was aware of how fit he actually was, with fan clubs and all that. He may not be Hogwarts' "hottest lad" or whatever the girls liked to call it (no, that title goes to no other than his brother, Sirius) but he's a fairly big deal around the castle. Parading around in only just a towel wasn't really on his list of problems. Of course, that's what he thought.

It turns out it's really hard to conceal an erection with just a towel.

How exactly did the idiot forget? How did James Potter forget that he was, in fact, not the only one who had to stay up until this ungodly hour, _and_ had access to the bathroom?

He didn't see nor hear her at first. He was only made aware when just as he padded closer to the enormous tub while readjusting his towel, the faucets turned on one by one. He stopped dead in his tracks, frozen at the sight before him.

His gaze followed the silk robe that dropped by the Head Girl's feet and he swallowed a lump he didn't know had formed in his throat.

Was it really his fault that James Jr. (although there is nothing remotely junior about him) decided to stir as he watched the naked back of Milla Rosamund right before his eyes?

Perhaps a cold shower would suit him better.


	3. Chapter 3

It was not entirely surprising that the marauders' day opened with James shoving Sirius' face into a bowl of cereal.

The idiot had stared at him a great while, watching the way he glanced to his right and, blushing furiously, fumble with his fork for a good two minutes. It happened more than three times. Finally, the Casanova has had enough. "Prongs, have you been drinking firewhiskey alone again, mate?"

Sirius Black kissed his cereal that morning.

It happened almost always throughout the day, and Sirius was getting more curious every time. It seems that the glasses-wearing boy would always steal glances at something or someone and once done so, all the red in the world would go in his face. He tried to follow his friend's gaze on more than one occasion, but struggled to find anything that would be of mere significance to the boy.

It was four o'clock and their last class for the day had just finished. The boys were on their way to the black lake for some air when the Head Boy stopped in his tracks right in front of the library. "Maybe we should do our homework in advance. That three feet transfiguration essay won't write itself." He proceeded to enter the library.

With wide eyes, Sirius stopped Remus from following after James and gripped his shoulder, crying out, "Help him, Moony, he's gone insane!"

Over the last six years that Sirius Black had been best mates with James Potter, never, and he meant never, did the boy willingly went to the library, much less done his homework. He could only tolerate being surrounded by such number of books if he had a hidden agenda, prank, or if it involved wooing a certain redhead.

The quartet found themselves sitting in a table near the restricted area, with Peter discretely eating biscuits from his pockets and hiding his chewing with a massive book, Remus actually doing homework, and Sirius pouting with his arms crossed. The thing that annoyed him the most was that James didn't even bring a roll of parchment or a quill with him! How will he start this said transfiguration essay? Bloody hell.

He nudged the munching boy beside him. "Do you have eyes on Evans anywhere?" But Peter only shook his head no.

Sighing exasperatedly, Sirius slammed his palms on the table, earning himself quite the attention and the librarian to hush him. "James, mate, _siriusly_ , what's going on?" He took notice of the boy's clammy and red appearance. "You look like an overly sexually frustrated 12 year old."

James shut his eyes before leaning toward the three. "I saw Milla Rosamund naked last night," he blurted out.

Peter choked on his biscuits.

Remus slammed his book close.

Sirius fell off his chair.

"Mate, that's _wicked!_ " the long-haired idiot scrambled to sit back up. "I need a rate!"

"You're a fucking pervert, Pads." Remus gagged.

"Shut it, Rem. Prongs?"

The boy in question rolled his eyes before a smirk found its way on his lips. "A bloody hundred over ten, mate."

Sirius whooped loudly, causing the librarian to glare at him from across the room. He slid down his seat but continued wiggling his eyebrows.

Remus, although admittedly amused, shook his head at the pair. "You are both idiots. You don't just rate girls as if they're objects."

"I'm pretty sure they rate us too, Moony, sorry for ruining your image on girls."

"Arse."

"But that's not the point," James cut them off. "Ever since last night, I couldn't help but feel terribly guilty. The poor girl did not even know someone was there, Merlin, I didn't know she would be there! I basically violated her privacy! I may be an idiot but I'm not a bloody creep."

Sirius stood up then, going over to his side and patting his back. "You said it yourself, Prongs, you didn't mean it. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just forget it ever happened."

"That's also the problem: I can't! Merlin, I've been _hard_ since last night!"

The three marauders gagged at their friends word. Remus looked away. "Too much information, Prongs."

Suddenly, Peter—with crumbs in his shirt and all— sat up straight. "Incoming."

It seemed as though the four had perfected turning around at the same time to face just the topic of their conversation making her way towards them.

James immediately felt his face fire up. "Shit, shit, shit! She knows! I'm dead." he ducked his head and buried it in Remus' chest. "Moony, hide me."

Remus rolled his eyes. How come his friends are all overly dramatic?

Milla, who saw the boy panic, approached with confused eyes. "Are you lads alright?"

"Fine."

"Perfect."

"Just peachy."

"James saw you last nigh—"

"Padfoot!" James slapped a hand over his smirking friend's face. "I fucking hate you."

The Head Girl, aware of the boys' reputation, ignored their weirdness and proceeded to sit down next to Peter and across from James. "Since you're already here, I'd like to share my proposal. I know that, in spite of the rules, we allowed male and female prefects to take rounds together as long as they're on different houses. But, I was informed that last night, two seventh year prefects were caught making out in Slughorn's classroom. So I was thinking..."

"Wait a second," James frowned. "I remember that the male prefects would report to me and the female ones to you. Remus," he turned to his friend who was hiding his face with a book about the history of Hogwarts. "Why did you report with Rowan to me last night?"

Milla stifled a laugh. "Oh, did I forget to mention that Mr. Lupin and Ms. Stacy were the ones caught?"

"MOONY!" Sirius exclaimed to the already shy boy. "You've gotten some action and I was last to know?"

James shoved him playfully. "We all found out at the same time you idiot."

The four marauders then proceeded to have a very moronic, very loud argument over the recent information. The librarian, Madam Pince, seething with anger, stomped her way over to the group. "You four, out, now!"

The Head Boy stuttered, "But what about Rosamu—"

"Out now!" The pixie-resembling lady repeated. "Before I decide to deduct house points."

The boys reluctantly gathered their things from the table, Sirius stomping his feet while doing so.

"Thanks a lot, Rosamund." Remus muttered, still red from embarrassment, while they passed the giggling girl.

Before they could go out of earshot, the girl heard Black talking.

"She's definitely a _bloody _hundred, Prongs."__


	4. Chapter 4

The first few weeks of school went by considerably fast for resident Head Girl, Milla Rosamund. The vast number of acquaintances she had doubled if possible, but no real friends managed to pop up from the long corridors of Hogwarts. Cormac, the ex-boyfriend, still remained her only ex-friend. All the hello's she gets from her fellow students who wish to suck up to the Head Girl did not seem to suffice the gaping hole that is her aloneness.

It wasn't the same case for James Potter, though. The boy relished in being recognized and looked up to. After all, he was the last person everyone would have thought would grab the title of a head. He was known for not entirely good things: a prankster who's somehow charming enough to fool a few unsuspecting professors, a persistent git who does not know how to take no for an answer when asking Lily Evans for a date, and lastly, a marauder. The last title was understandable enough. Despite the few admittedly negative traits, Milla was surprised to find the hazel-eyed boy quite dedicated to his tasks and responsibilities. She hated to admit it, but James Potter does possess leadership skills. Kind of.

She's seen it over the past few years. His annoying persistence is often overshadowed by his undying loyalty to his friends. Although sometimes a big idiot, he doesn't hold back from standing up for what he believes in. He can be a bit impulsive, but he saves himself by his charm, wit, wisdom, and braveness.

Milla never really talked to the guy. Their conversations were limited to head meetings and prefect gatherings. They stayed in the same dorms with only a door and a painting separating them, but they never even once exchanged good night's. They knew of each other for seven years, but they never really got past the acquaintance stage. She wonders what it was like to have friends, to be carefree with everything just like James. The blonde couldn't help but feel jealous at times when he hears her dorm-mate's friends sneaking in at times during the night. She longed for something like that; for friendship.

With a quiet sigh, the petite girl fished another roll of parchment from her bag and began to rewrite her potions homework.

The library became quite the haven for Milla. She even has her own corner just by the window where she could clearly see the quidditch pitch. From where she sat, she could see that the place was filled with reds and golds on both the stands and the field itself. She reminded herself that it was the day of the Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts. She's heard Potter fuss about it enough times to know.

Curiously, she peaked a look at the faux game James was hosting. Sometimes the players get close enough to the window that she recognizes them. A few housemates like Sirius Black has flown by more than a couple times. The most surprising of all was Cormac.

Milla knew her ex loved the sport, but didn't really felt like playing it. He's always said that he prefers to watch. Well, look at him now.

He only got fitter, if that was possible. His arms looked definitely more defined by the quidditch wear he's donning, eyes covered by protective gear. She couldn't miss his dirty blonde hair rustling with the wind as he went by. He was the definition of dreamy.

Cormac was never really boyish, even when Milla became friends with him on third year. He always acted like a true gentleman, and appeared to be more mature than his age. That's initially why Milla took a liking to him. They instantly clicked, like two puzzle pieces. They had the same everything. She gave him everything. But, just the summer before seventh year, Cormac decided that Milla's everything weren't enough for him.

A loud clash interrupted Milla from her wandering thoughts.

Glass flew everywhere, some even managed to get in her hair. The girl immediately stood up, disregarding a few bleeding cuts in her arm and looked out the window with a strong glare. People in the library were crowding around her. Madame Pince tried to ask the girl if she was okay, but she paid no mind. Instead, she mustered all of her energy to her angry eyes.

"What in Merlin's beard? You lot just damaged school property!" She shouted, forehead creasing with intensity. The players stopped mid-air, and the crowd in the stands went silent. From the ground, James Potter flew up and hovered a few feet away from her with the same frustrated eyes. Milla's gaze shifted to Cormac before quickly retreating back to the Gryffindor captain. "Ten points from Gryffin—"

Focused to much on the players surrounding her, Milla failed to notice the bludger swiftly making its way toward her head until James Potter all but exclaimed, "Rosamund, look out!"

The blonde closed her eyes and waited for impact.

3.

2.

1.

Nothing.

Nothing but a hard grunt that made her open her eyes. The scene in front of her was made for sickening horror films.

James Potter took the hit for her.

He somehow flew in front of the mirror in an attempt to catch the merciless bludger, and failed to do so. Instead, the impact made his right arms bend backwards, a grunt (the one that Milla heard) falling from his lips as everyone watch his right arm break. Everything seemed to go on slow motion for Milla that she almost didn't see James fall from his broom. Gasps ensued from the audience.

Quickly thinking, she brought out her wand and made the boy float gently until her reached the ground, where a stretcher from the Hospital Wing was already waiting. Without another beat, she rushed to see the boy.

Everything was in flashes. Madam Pomfrey, with the help of magic, carried the stretcher back to the castle, shouting at every student to get out of the way. Milla was out of breath by the time she reached the commotion.

Seeing that James was awake but clutching his arm, she turned her concern into anger. "You bloody idiot! What were you thinking, taking the hit for me?!" She wanted to smack the stupid grin that rested on his face, but he was already injured enough so she opted to pinch his cheeks instead. "Stop bloody smirking for Merlin's sake!"

"A thank you would be very much welcomed at the moment," Amusement filled the boy's hazel eyes.

"Shut up!"

As if on cue, the rest of the Marauders reached them just as they entered the Hospital wing with mixed reactions.

"Prongs are you alright, mate?"

"James, your arm!"

"Oi that was _wicked_ , Prongs!"

Milla didn't have to say who said what. She rolled her eyes at them before turning to Sirius. "It definitely isn't wicked. He could have gotten seriously hurt."

"And why does it concern you, Head Girl?" The grey-eyed boy replied, raising an eyebrow at her.

She glanced at James briefly once again before muttering, "Whatever."

With that, Milla found herself exiting the scene. She didn't even knew the boys well and already, they're going to be the death of her.


	5. Chapter 5

The loud cheers from both the Ravenclaws and the Gryffindors were deafening. In James Potter's eyes, it was the perfect way to start off the season: with a proper game. Admittedly, he was still cautious about his two new teammates, being Cormac Dawson and Isla Sommers. The seeker, Isla, was only in fourth year, standing at 4 foot 11 inches which makes her very light and swift in the air. Dawson, on the other hand, was a buff seventh year like himself who James never really did took notice of. Mostly, the school knew him as the guy who dumped Head Girl, Rosamund. Now he's trying to show off to the lads and trying to act cool. James could only scoff at that thought.

He remembered quite vividly, a few minutes before the tryouts started Cormac had tried to approach him and Sirius in the changing rooms. They were trying—and failing— to discretely talk about Milla when the blonde walked by and casually told them with a proud smirk, "Rosamund? She's a good shag, that one. I'd stay away, though, she tends to get obssessive once you lay a finger on her."

Now, Sirius and James were pretty popular with the ladies, the former especially. But they never talk about their exes that crude way. The both of them still firmly believe that a true gentlemen never kiss and tell, or trash talk for that matter. They rolled their eyes at Cormac's retreating back and decided unconsciously that they will never be friends with the likes of him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, our very own Isla Sommers has eyes on the snitch! Ravenclaw's Jaden Fox right on her tail the—oops! And Fox is down! You go around the stands, mate, not through them!" Owen Jordan's voice boomed across the quidditch pitch, making everyone chuckle. Still, though, everybody was growing restless. The score currently stood at 80-70 in favor of the lions. Even James, as cocky as he can get, could feel his muscles protesting with every move he makes on his broom.

Finally, after a grueling ten minutes of body torture, the commentator, Owen, announces, "And Isla Sommers has caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins!"

If James thought the cheers earlier were deafening, it doesn't compare to the applause he heard now. Although the Slytherins and Ravenclaws stood glum under the cool September air, the screams from both Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were just as wild. Even James let out a yell. Steadily, he went down to the ground with his teammates on his tail. He shook hands with Madam Hootch before ruffling Sommers' hair in a proud and affectionate manner, causing the poor auburn-haired girl to blush furiously.

"Mate, you were awesome!" Remus yells before patting James in the back, Peter right behind him. "I think you scored more than half of the points before Isla caught the snitch!"

Sirius gasped and pouted, "Thanks, Moony, I appreciate the compliment."

"You were amazing too, Padfoot." Peter smiled lightly, making the drama queen fake a sniff and wrap his arms around the smaller boy.

"Thank you, Peter. You're the only reliable friend these days."

James rolled his eyes at Sirius' fake tears and nodded to the castle. "Well c'mon now, lovebirds, we have a celebration party waiting for us in the common room. After all, we won the first game of the term!"

Another round of cheers was heard as the four best friends, along with a few Gryffindors and the team made their way back to the castle.

-

"I hate this party."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Sirius, you've only been here for an hour and a half."

The long-haired boy pouted even more if possible. "Yes, but an hour and a half is enough to know that this is a lame-arse celebration party and our house could've done better."

James, who was preoccupied with staring at Lily Evans who was talking to her friends across the room, decided to butt in. "Well blame the fifth years, then. It's their turn to organize this whole thing. Amateurs, if you ask me." The bespectacled boy took a huge burning gulp from his firewhiskey. "I'm going to talk to Evans."

His two best friends shook their heads simultaneously. "Please don't," Sirius pleaded.

"You'll only get rejected. Again." Remus added. "Seriously—"

Padfoot cut him off with a grin. " _Siriusly,_ "

The werewolf glared at the boy before turning back to James. "Really mate, you don't need a lose after a win."

The head boy frowned at his friends. "Well thanks for believing in me Moony, Padfoot. I really feel your support." Now in a bad mood, he took a shot of his drink once more. His neck were starting to turn red from intoxication but he didn't mind.

"We just want what's best for you, Prongs," The ever-quiet Peter finally said. "We wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"I appreciate that, I really do." James says sincerely. "But I feel like this year is going to be it. I feel like Evans is somehow already warming up to me."

Sirius snorted. "Whatever you say, mate."

Releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding, the head boy made his way to the girl of his dreams. He caught the group of girls talking about NEWTs, so he decided to cut off their boring discussion. With a smug smirk, James put his arm over Lily's shoulder. "You. Me. Hogsmeade. Saturday. What do you say?"

The redhead looked at him, mustering all the disgust she could into her glare. "Get your hands off me, you toerag!" Unbeknownst to them, Lily's screaming had made a few heads turn to the two.

"Ouch, Evans, you hurt my feelings."

The girl sighed tiredly, rubbing her temple. "Potter, please just give up. I will never go on a date with you, or fall in love with you, or whatever it is that you've convinced yourself I'm going to be doing, okay? I don't support hate, but I strongly dislike your annoying and conceited personality very much, and hope for the love of Merlin that you give me just this last year to finally have some peace!"

James felt his chest and jaw clench at her words and his hands turned into tight fists. Embarrassment and hurt filled the boy, and he stood frozen in front of the girl who broke and rejected his heart way too many times to count. Normally, he would take it lightly and turn the situation into a joke, but the alcohol in his system made him feel the things he ignored with Lily's every rejection when sober.

"Well, geez, Evans, you could have worded it less harshly." From the back of the now quiet room, stood Milla Rosamund, pity and annoyance clashing in her eyes. Pity towards the boy who was silently breaking in front of half the house, and annoyance to the girl who fidgeted uncomfortably at her feet at the sudden and unwelcome attention she got.

But the next thing that happened made the head girl want to close her eyes shut and forget about the secondhand embarrassment that she felt.

James Potter just vomited his guts out all over Lily Evans' shiny black school shoes.


	6. Chapter 6

Gasps ensued all over the room, and the redhead girl let out a sharp screech before walking out. Milla sighs before yelling out, "Alright everybody. Nothing to see here, party's over! Head back to your dorms now!"

As head girl, she had the power to bark out orders and her schoolmates would do as she says. It was one of its perks, perhaps.

Before James could fall head first into his own puke, Milla pulled him up by his arms. "Alright, lover boy, time to clean up."

From behind her, the boy's three friends approached with wide, cautious eyes. "We should take him to his dorm."

Milla turned to look at the three. Remus eyes were red from tiredness, Sirius's red from probably other things, and Peter looked too soft and small to handle carrying his giant friend back to his dorm. A dorm, which by the way, he shares with Milla.

"It's okay," she stated although quite a bit buzzed herself. "I can take him back. It wouldn't be that much of a hassle then. Plus, it's past curfew and Filch always lurks near our place."

The girl adjusted her grip on the still confused boy, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Are you sure?" Remus asks uncertainly.

She nodded. "Yeah, you guys go ahead. We'll be fine. You look like you're ready to pass out, Lupin."

The three mumbled their thanks to the girl and, albeit reluctantly, made their way back to their dorms. Milla sighed after watching them disappear and looked at James to find that he's already looking at her. Noticing the mess on his robes and a trace of puke near his mouth, she scrunched up her face. "Right, let's get you cleaned up, head boy."

The pair stumbled their way to the Prefects' bathroom, where Milla conjured a towel and handed it to James. "I'll go get your toothbrush and some sleepwear. Is it alright if I go through your stuff? I promise I'm not nosey."

The boy only nodded silently before shamelessly stepping out of his robes and starting to unbutton his shirt, still clearly drunk. Milla felt her cheeks burn and cleared her throat. "Right," she muttered before walking off.

When the blonde returned, James seemed more sober. She could only see his neck and face, the water in the tub reaching past his shoulders. No doubt he was bending his knee.

"Surprisingly, you have a lot of toothbrushes in your drawer." she announces, making herself known to the boy. "I figured the still unopened one was the safest. Here," she handed the things she got to James who took them from her gratefully.

"Thanks, Rosamund." he mumbled before stepping out of the tub. Milla took it upon herself to look away. Despite not really being close to the boy, she was well aware of how gifted he was in the looks and body department.

_Merlin, Quidditch did this boy good._

"You can look now," she didn't have the time to turn around when the head boy walked around her, clad in the sweatpants she got for him with his whole torso exposed. Milla had to hold herself back from asking him to wear a shirt. The alcohol in her system begged her to enjoy the show.

She watched silently as James brushed his teeth by the sink a few feet in front of her. Milla let her eyes trail to his long and lean back, muscles contorting with every move of his arms. Her gaze went down to the dimples visible near the band of his sweatpants. She could feel sweat building up her forehead. Merlin forbid she was a horny drunk.

"We should stay here," his deep voice interrupted Milla from her lustful thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what?"

With a smirk, James went to where his robes were lazily resting on the ground and fished out a bottle of firewhiskey. "We should stay here for a while."

"You're crazy," she chuckled but followed the boy regardless. He led them to a dry part in the bathroom, sitting down on the ground (still shirtless, mind you) and patting the spot next to him. 

The two sat silently for a while, not really knowing what to say. They were never really friends, just mere colleagues if anything. James then opened the bottle, and raised an eyebrow at her as if asking 'do you mind?'. Milla shakes her head and watches as he took a huge gulp straight from the bottle before handing it to her.

 _What the hell_ , she thought before taking a drink herself.

"So, Milla Rosamund," James started. "How come you're here to help me? We're not friends, I mean, no offense of course."

Milla scoffed. "None taken. I don't have many friends these days. And, if you really wanted to know, I felt bad for your friends who have to drag your vomit-smelling ass here."

"And you don't feel bad for yourself?"

"Let's just say I'm used to it," she mumbles before snatching the bottle from the boy to drink again.

James quirked an eyebrow at her. "Well that's vague. And now I'm bored. We're drinking like sad losers. C'mon, let's play a game."

"But we're drunk and that's so cliche," she whined, but motioned for the boy to go on anyway.

"Oh, I know!" he perked up. "Let's play two lies one truth!"

"It's the other way around, idiot," she rolled her eyes and flicked James' nose. "But sure. Let's do your version. You go first."

He grinned before putting a finger on his chin, pretending to think. "Oh, I know! One, my first kiss was actually Evans. Two, it was Sirius. Three, it was Dumbledore. Alright, have at it. Guess."

Milla laughed, "That's easy! It's obviously Sirius!"

"Oi!" James complained with a frown. "It's Evans! In first year, we actually got along, mind you. She was wiping off a few marks my mates drew on my face while I was sleeping and Sirius, the git, pushed her and we kissed."

"Accidentally," she teased.

"But kissed nonetheless." James argued. "Why do you think I've been in love with her since? Something must have happened, right?"

"Right," she agreed. "Gotta thank Sirius for the long list of rejection."

The bespectacled boy only glared. Milla clapped. "Okay, my turn. One, I accidentally turned my cat into a frog back in third year. Two, I'm a virgin. Three, I was caught giving head to Cormac Dawson last year."

James choked on his drink. "Please tell me it's one of the first two," he wheezes. The girl only shrugs. "Fuck. Really?"

She slapped his arm. "You didn't even guess!"

"You practically gave me an answer!" He exclaimed before shaking his head. "Who caught you?"

Milla smirked. "Lily Evans, believe it or not."

James gasps dramatically. "No way!" Her smirk only widens. "Geez, Rosamund, how come you made head girl?"

"Are you seriously the one asking that question?"

"Right. Next. Uh.." he trailed off. "One, I lost my virginity with our family nurse when I was fifteen. Two, I made head boy because I blackmailed Dumbledore. And three, Lily and I are actually secretly dating. She just doesn't want everyone to find out."

Milla narrowed her eyes. "Definitely not two. There's no way you could blackmail Dumby. And I'm pretty sure you've only convinced yourself that you and Evans are secretly dating but it's definitely untrue. So I guess there's only one left."

James gaped at her. "How come you're so good at this?"

"Don't be stupid," she scoffed. "I've only gotten one answer right. But really, the family nurse? You're one naughty boy."

The boy shrugged smugly. "What can I say?"

"Okay," she started. "One, I lost my virginity two years ago at the Hogwarts Express. Two, I lost my _backdoor_ virginity last year. And three, I used the hairbrush my dad bought me to take my own virginity, if you know what I mean."

James stared at her, horrified. "Okay, all of those are equally scarring and I don't want to find out the truth." He says, making the head girl laugh.

Somehow, the game turned to a sexual one. Milla couldn't say she minded telling Potter things, though, because although drunk, she had never laughed so hard since last year before Cormac broke up with her. So what if James Potter, someone she knew absolutely nothing about, knew that her sexual fetish was butterfly kisses near her right ear?

Throughout the night, playful shoves and slaps turned to lingering ones. James would crack a joke, and Milla would push his chest before letting her hand trail down her torso. And he would let her. Milla would tease him, and James would put a hand on her thigh and squeeze. Her breath would hitch but she let him.

It seemed like Milla wasn't the only horny drunk around.

"You're quite touchy," she pointed out after James had traced a burning line on her inner thigh. Milla was still wearing her uniform, the first few buttons of her shirt undone and her robe thrown away somewhere.

"You're quite touchy as well," he says back, smirking at the hand that pinched his arm. "I don't mind." he whispers. "Do you?"

She only shook her head no. "Lily might," she decided to tease.

James scoffed before shifting closer to her. "Lily could go reject someone who cares."

Milla laughed at him. "Bitter."

He growled and lurched forward playfully at her. "Shut up,"

"Your turn," she whispers back instead, pertaining to their still ongoing game. Suddenly feeling flushed from the heat of their seemingly innocent action, she gathered her hair on her left shoulder. They were so close she could feel his breath against the side of her neck. She shivers inwardly.

"One," Milla almost jumped when James put a hand on her knees. "I'm the best kisser in the whole damn school. Two," his hand inched higher. "Giving pleasure gives me pleasure. Three," and higher. "About two weeks ago, I saw you. I was standing right here, where we sat. And you were by the tub. You took of that silky silver robe you wore, and I've never been so hard in my entire life." higher.

She would have gasped is she wasn't breathless. Instead of answering, she lets her hand wander to his hard chest instead. "My turn," she whispers.

She could almost smell the firewhiskey that's consumed both of their minds at the moment, but didn't dwell on it. All she knew was that James Potter was in front of her, shirtless in all his beautiful glory, and she was _dripping_.

"One, I'm the best damn kisser in Hogwarts." her hand trailed lower, tracing the lines of his abs. "Two, equal giving of pleasure gives _me_ pleasure. Three," lower. "About two weeks ago, I was standing there by the tub. And I knew you were watching me. And I couldn't help but give you a little show. I've never been so turned on before. Well, perhaps, except now."

A beat of silence.

James Potter watched with lust glazed eyes as Milla arched her neck, as if to give him access to the smooth, alluring skin. She turned her head to look at him with hooded eyes, chest heaving with desire. Their stares lingered, before she thought it to be wise to lick her lower lip.

James Potter was gone for.

"Fuck it," Without another word, he grabbed the head girl by the back of her neck and crashed his lips to hers.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Fuck it,"_

The moment James Potter's words registered onto Milla's brain, it was already too late. She was already in too deep to pull back, because the moment James Potter pulled her in for a searing kiss that would haunt her for a lifetime, all she did was pull him closer.

Her hands were everywhere; on his neck, playing with his hair, down his chest and abs, to the waistband of his sweatpants, just... everywhere she could touch, she touched. Before she knew it, her legs were on either side of the intoxicated boy, straddling him.

It wasn't like his hands were behaving, too. In fact, they were busy exploring her heaving breasts and bum, squeezing, pinching, massaging. All senses were thrown out of the window, forgotten. All they could think of was devouring each other.

"Mmm," The head girl let out a strained moan, arching her back as James sucked on the skin where her shoulders and neck meet. "T-this is not right."

He grunted, hips bucking up involuntarily from Milla's squirming. "It's.. it's so wrong— fuck, yes, just like that."

Desperate to feel some kind of friction in between her legs, the head girl grinds down on the head boy's very prominent erection. She hummed, the sensation of his lips on her skin too much. She needed to feel all of him against all of her. With a huff of firewhiskey-smelling breath, she tugged her shirt off, James doing the same.

Milla desperately presses her lips unto James' once more, hands unclasping her bra before settling on his biceps. The boy pulls away to stare for a second, panting heavily.

"Fuck," he only shook his head at the mouthwatering sight before letting his hands wander to Milla's milky thighs. By now, her skirt was bunched up by her hips, showing off her blue cotton panties. James could feel his member twitch at the sight.

They stared at each other for a while, trying to decide who was brave enough to continue. It didn't take much time deciding, though. After all, both were in Gryffindor.

James lunged at her breasts, sucking, licking, with one hand massaging the other and another hand playing the band of her underwear. Milla could only cry out from his sinful ministrations.

"Please," she moans, biting her lip and shutting her eyes close. She could feel the tent in his sweatpants, begging to be released from the cloth. She could feel herself dripping, and she was almost sure that if it wasn't for her underwear, her juices would be down to her thighs by now. _"Please."_

He hummed at the sound of her strained voice. "Please what, Rosamund?" He rubbed his thumb over her clit, the friction from her underwear making the actions almost painful. He could feel her arousal seeping through, making him all the more turned on.

"Please just... just do something," she pleaded before desperately palming his bulge. A groan slips past his lips.

Carefully, James peeled down the blue cotton from her hips. She had to kneel to get it completely off, moving closer to him when she settles back down. "I have to feel you inside me," she pants, like there was no way in the world that could stop them. She just have to feel _him_. Milla pulls down his pants, making his cock bounce. Eagerly, she grips him, tracing the precum gathered on his slit.

James' eyes almost rolled back at the feeling, but instead he pulls the head girl closer, biting her lower lip and then sucking it. With his right hand, he guided himself onto her entrance, his head moving along her wet slit, spreading their juices together.

Before he could enter, Milla casts a contraceptive spell onto herself before tossing her wand away. Growing impatient from the head boy's foreplay, she takes his cock in her hands, positions him, and sits down on him, taking him all the way in.

They both moan at the feeling, his cock stretching her out. James had the perfect view of where they both meet, making him bite his lip hard. "Fuck, baby." he grunts, finding a steady pace with his hips. Milla bounces on him, their hips meeting perfectly. "You take me _so well_ , fuck."

"James," she breathes, face scrunching up from the feeling of his cock hitting all the right spots with each thrust. She lets out a cry when he fills her in particularly deeper.

One of her hands is gripping his shoulder for balance while the other one is holding her hair from her face. His are on her hips, guiding Milla up and down his cock.

"Shit," she almost screams when he starts to rub her clit. "D-don't stop, please."

He growls, almost in an animalistic way, before lying her down to her back and thrusting harder. His hips grinds onto hers unapologetically, both their sex drives increased a hundred times by the amount of alcohol in their systems. "Say my name, baby. Who's making you feel so good, huh?"

"Fuck!" she screeches, the only thing she could do to support herself was to grip James' back and let him ravish her. "You, James, you make me feel so good! Uh!"

"Are you gonna cum, Milla?" He hisses onto her ears, licking and kissing every part he could reach. "Are you gonna cum for me?"

"Yes, yes, yes..." she could only cry out. Tears were burning her eyes and blurring her vision, a familiar knot forming in her stomach. "Please..."

James pulled out all the way before pushing back in to the hilt, making the girl scream. Her throat was sore, her bum was aching from the hard floor, but all she cared about was the release she could feel coming _oh so close_ , the release she craved ever since she realized she just stripped in front of James Potter that night a few weeks ago.

"Please," she repeated, breathless. The boy went faster if possible, driving into her so hard that she felt like they would dent the marble floors.

"Cum for me, baby." with his sinful words, Milla could only scream out his name, eyes shut in absolute pleasure. Her cunt clenched around James' cock, and soon his thrusts became jerks as he came inside her.

They rode out their orgasms together, and Milla could feel a few tears spill from her eyes from the intense pleasure she just felt. With a thud, the bespectacled boy fell beside her, both breathing heavily.

"Did we just.." Milla trailed off, glancing at the boy fixing his crooked glasses beside her.

"Merlin, I'm so fucked," he groans, rubbing his face with his hands and turning the brightest shade of red Milla had ever seen.

She couldn't help but giggle at their situation even though she could already feel herself sober up. "Well, technically..."

James could only glare at her humor.

-

When James Potter woke up naked in his dorm the next morning, he could only stare up at his ceiling for the next thirty minutes.

Memories from the night before played over and over in his mind, and as much as he'd like to say otherwise, it did nothing to help his morning wood.

It wasn't exactly a secret that he had been sexually attracted to Milla ever since he saw her naked that one night. And that attraction, added with alcohol and the stupid game they played, led to the hottest thing James had ever experienced.

Still, he couldn't help but feel guilty. Fine, they were both drunk, so technically, they took advantage of each other. But he was in love with Lily, for Merlin's sake! He didn't understand the attraction he felt for the blonde girl, but he did know that his feelings for Evans won't just go away just because he fucked some other, _incredible sexy, unbelievably beautiful_ and funny girl.

"I'm so fucked," he groaned, repeating his words from last night. How will he even face her? They see each other practically everyday, Merlin, they have to! They're colleagues! They have meetings all the time together, they're dorms are right in front of each other. "And so stupid."

James got up from his bed reluctantly, slowly dressing in his school robes and trying to prolong not having to face Milla for as long as possible. That plan proved to be futile, as the minute he stepped out of his room, he was faced with the petite blonde.

"Milla," his eyes widened, voice slightly higher than usual. "G-good.. uh.. Good morning."

She looked... normal. Her red and gold tie was slightly crooked, but James was pretty sure a normal person wouldn't notice that.

"James," she smiled brightly at him before walking ahead of him. "Better hurry up, you wouldn't want to miss your friends or Evans for breakfast, would you?"

With that, she left him standing in front of his door, mouth agape.

"She completely acted like nothing happened," he whispered to himself, confused by the girl's casual actions. With a shake of his head and a frown settling on his lips, the boy headed towards the great hall.


	8. Chapter 8

Morning visits to the library were usual for Milla Rosamund. She was used to going to the Great Hall to take with her a few snacks or two, before eating them whilst on her way to the library. She simply could not bear eating in the middle of her whole house without someone to talk to. She could only imagine being trapped between friends and lovers alike conversing while she sat alone. The thought itself was enough to make her stomach churn.

Plus, she still wasn't ready to see Cormac surrounded by his new, "cooler" group of friends and his choice lady for the week. She just might throw up the same way James Potter did last night.

_James Potter._

Her tryst with the quidditch captain the night before couldn't escape her mind if she wanted to. Milla wasn't used to one night stands, despite not being a virgin. She was with a boyfriend only a few months ago. Still, she couldn't decide if it was the alcohol making her do the things she did last night or simply hidden desire for her co-head.

One thing was for sure, though: head meetings and bedtime were bound to be awkward.

She greeted Madam Pince as she passes by the librarian with a smile. Sometimes she wondered if she was better suited in Hufflepuff. The memory of her bold and brave actions last night evaded her. _Gryffindor, it is, then._

She sat by her usual seat and took out a muggle book she had been reading for a while now. She never got to finish the book when usually it would only take her a day or two. Her busy schedule made things slightly difficult.

"Mary Shelley?" a voice from behind startled her, making her jump in her seat. She released a breath, looking at Remus who seemed to show up out of nowhere.

"She's a muggle author," she noted, closing the book before facing the scarred boy. "Scaring me so early in the morning, aren't you, Lupin?"

The boy raised his hands up in surrender, a light smile tugging at the ends of his lips. "Guilty."

Milla raised her brow suspiciously, "Why are you talking to me? Have you missed any homework that I didn't know of?"

"Nope," he says popping the 'p'. "No homework this time. I am actually here to prove a theory."

"A theory?"

He nods before a smirk fully engulfs his face. "You see, my dear friend, James, has been in love with Lily Evans since second year." Milla mentally face-palms, knowing what's to come. "And we find it absolutely astonishing, really, that he shows up to breakfast with the nastiest—for us— and probably the hottest —for him— love bites. They're literally all over his neck and chest. And we don't quite know if he's really proud of having them or simply forgotten they exist."

"What do I have to do with Potter finally getting some?"

"Well, you see," he repeats his words. "We left James pretty hammered last night. Alone— no, wait. Not alone. With you."

Milla's eyes almost twitched as she trailed off, "Are you implying...?"

The boy's grin only widened.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Moony, you're taking too long!" Sirius suddenly appeared behind Milla, before tapping his wand lightly to her neck and whispering, "Reveal."

Milla's eyes widened, slapping the boy's wand away. "What the hell? That's invasion of privacy!" But no words from her could stop the same, if not harsher, bruises to appear littered across the skin of her neck.

"Well, would you look at that?" Sirius muttered, a glint far too mischievous for Milla's liking shimmering in his eye.

"I told you so," Remus muttered behind a goofy grin, elbowing his friend in the ribs jokingly.

Sirius ran a hand through his long locks, dramatically sighing. "I knew this would happen the very moment James told us he saw you naked— ouch!" Remus smacked a hand on the pretty boy's face.

Milla glared at the pair. "He told you?"

The two mumbled incoherently before quickly running out of her sight.

 _Those boys_ , she shook her head at their retreating backs.

She opened up her book, Frankenstein, once again, leaning back against her chair when she felt yet another presence behind her. This time, the person was even less welcome than the previous two.

"Shagging James Potter? The quidditch captain?" She turned sharply at Cormac's voice. "I didn't know you were so desperate to get back at me, Rosamund."

She furrowed her eyebrows, staring daggers at the face she used to melt for. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm in the team now, aren't I? Sleeping with the captain so that he'd kick me out? Kind of low, even for you."

If steam could escape from her ears from intense anger at the moment, the fire alarms would be going off like mad.

"Not everything revolves around you, Dawson." she hissed his name like venom on her lips.

"I know you're still bitter and hurting because I left you—"

"Get out of my sight before I shove a quaffle up your arse!" she suddenly explodes, but gets up and leaves him gaping in the library anyway instead. She didn't need his shit this early in the morning.

Milla was still fuming by the time she reached her Potions class. She took a seat by the far back, where hopefully Professor Slughorn would take no notice of her. Fortunately, he didn't. Unfortunately for her, someone else did.

She watched with a confused and slightly annoyed expression as James Potter took the liberty to plop down to the seat beside her.

"No." she muttered without even waiting for him to open his mouth.

He gaped at her. "I haven't even said anything!"

"You don't have to say anything."

He gaped at her still. "Damn, woman!"

She shrugs, although admittedly trying to conceal a smile at his offended expression. "I don't want to talk about it, James."

He sighs exasperatedly before shifting in his seat to fully face her. "Just tell me how they found out,"

She rubs her eyes, annoyed, before lifting a wand to James' neck and uttering the same spell Sirius used on her. Like paint, purple hues appeared in swirls all over his neck before taking for of love bites. Milla fished a compact mirror from her pocket and held it in front of him. "That's how."

James stared wide-eyed at his own reflection before red tinted his cheeks and ears. "I didn't notice I had them, but they saw before I got the chance to hide them," he explains, embarrassed. 

"Yeah, well, I already had mine hidden. Your lovely dramatic friend used that spell to reveal them. Thanks for your carelessness, by the way."

"Sirius?" he asked with a sheepish grin. Milla only nodded in reply. His smile widened as if he were proud of his friend's handiwork before turning serious. "I really am sorry, Milla. And, we have to talk about it one way or another."

"No, we don't," she denies, pretending to write something on her parchment but really she was just doodling aimlessly.

"Rosamund," he whines, taking her parchment away from her. From the front, they hear Slughorn discuss something about a homework he was assigning, but the pair paid no mind to the professor. "Stop acting like nothing happened!"

"Potter," she says in the same tone mockingly. "Stop acting like my boyfriend, honestly. We were drunk, we had sex, end of story. It's not like I'm suddenly in love with you or something."

That shut him up. He closed his mouth, looking as if deep in thought before agreeing with her. "You're right. Plus, I'm in love with Lily."

Milla only hummed her agreement, sneakily taking back her parchment and continuing her drawing.

"And it's not like we obviously haven't done this type of thing before, right?"

"Right..." she trailed off absentmindedly, still engrossed in her 'artwork'.

"So we could totally do it again, right?"

"Yeah— wait, what?" she turned her head at him so abruptly she almost had whiplash. "Potter...."

"What?" he says defensively, blushing yet again. "It's not like we have feelings for each other or anything. We just happen to enjoy having... sex with each other. Is that so bad? And we conveniently sleep in the same dorm alone."

"You do realize that once we get caught, it will be the head boy and girl breaking the rules, right?"

Cheekily, the boy places a hand on Milla's inner thigh before leaning close to her ear to whisper, "Who says we're going to get caught?"


	9. Chapter 9

"Good morning, my Lily flower!" James Potter's voice echoed throughout the great hall the next morning, causing a few heads to turn although most students are already used to it. Lily blushed as red as her hair, but Milla wasn't sure whether it was because of embarrassment, flattery (most definitely not) or anger and annoyance (most probably).

She had frozen midway from picking up some bread toast and bacon and putting it in a sandwich bag when the commotion happened. Milla watched as Lily gave the bespectacled boy a disgusted look before turning away. 

_Girl, if only you knew just how good that boy is in..._ never mind.

She shook the silly thought off her head.

James' proposition still haunts the girl. It was admittedly tempting, and altogether an arousing thought that he was attracted to her enough to think of such a thing, but still, Milla couldn't help but think of the many consequences it may bring.

Sexual acts were prohibited in Hogwarts, of course, even though she was sure that most students don't follow that particular rule anyway. Plus, Milla liked to be invisible. She had always been low-key, and shagging one of Hogwarts' most popular lads would certainly earn her unwanted attention. She had enough shit to deal with by getting Head Girl.

Rolling her eyes at the face James made when Lily, once again, rejected him, she finished packing food for herself and moved to leave.

"Oi, Milla!" she shut her eyes close at the booming voice. Reluctantly, she faced her doom.

"Yes?" she answered under her breath, facing Sirius.

Milla looked at the boy suspiciously, from head to toe. In hindsight, Sirius Black was a pretty good-looking lad. His dark hair almost touched his shoulders, grey eyes expressive, and a endearing smirk to finish his look along with his tall, lean body. He was the perfect bad boy naive girls in Hogwarts all fall for. Personally, not Milla's type.

"Go to Hogsmeade with me?" Remus and Peter laughed wholeheartedly at Sirius' invitation, while James slapped his friend on the right arm and glared threateningly with an "Oi!". The prankster only smirked as if expecting her to swoon. Instead, in total Milla fashion, she rolled her eyes.

"Dream on, Black."

"Wait!" Remus suddenly exclaimed. "You just rejected Padfoot. I think I'm in love with you. Go out with me instead,"

"No!" Peter protested. "They always get the girls. Go out with _me!_ "

James could only gape unbelievably at his friends.

The sight of the four of them were quite amusing if not for Milla being part of the predicament. 

She raised an eyebrow at the four. "Are you guys quite done?"

The three marauders were too busy laughing to acknowledge her question, and James sighed desperately at her. She shrugged at him with a small smile before quietly exiting the Hall. 

She was a few feet from the doors when she heard the Head Boy call her name. "Milla, wait!"

"What is it this time?" she says, but continued walking. The short incident during breakfast caused the few minutes she would have usually spent in the library, so she opted to go to her class earlier. Anything is better than eating at the Great Hall alone.

"I'm sorry for my friends. They're... gits."

"Right, as if that's what you wanted to say." she chuckled and looked at him over her shoulder. "Spill it, Potter."

He sighed heavily before abruptly taking ahold of her arm, pulling her into a corner. Milla lets out a quiet breath as her back hit the wall.

"Have you thought about it?" he questioned, biting on his lower lip as he stared down at her.

She tried hard not to look at him in the eyes, which proved to be difficult as his eyes seemed to beg for attention. "The only thing I can think about at the moment is you trapping me in this corner and the nosy students passing by."

"Milla," James Potter perfected the art of whining, she realized. "Can you be serious for a moment?"

"I can't, he's your friend." James didn't even snort at her horrible joke.

She sighed mentally. _He doesn't appreciate me and my outstanding humor._

"Milla,"

"Fine. I know what you're talking about," she started, pointing a finger at his chest. "And, I also know that what you're talking about is pretty stupid."

He growled in her ear, making her inwardly shiver and sigh before pressing her into the wall more. "You can't be serious,"

She opened her mouth to revive her dead pun but the pointed look he gave her ultimately shut her up.

"James, I'm not going to lie, right now my body is begging me to give in to you. And you most probably ruined sex for me with other guys our age with how experienced you seem to be. But, I—" her words came out muffled as the Head Boy pressed his lips hardly against hers in one hard peck. She tried to ignore the few gasps she heard from the students around them.

"That's all I need to know," he grins before letting go of her and proceeding to walk away as if nothing happened.

"I didn't agree to anything, Potter!" Milla called after him. "And we have a meeting with the prefects later at seven!"

The Head Boy looked back at her with a salute before winking playfully again. "Yes, ma'am."

Before she knew it, he was gone from her sight. Milla raised a hand to her forehead, face-palming at the memory of what just happened. She looked up and saw a few students, mostly girls, looking at her in interest and even in envy.

Milla merely cleared her throat before walking away.


	10. Chapter 10

The meeting the night before had drained the Head Boy and Head Girl—especially James Potter—completely to the point of not showing up in the Great Hall for breakfast. They were up until 11 discussing all concerns and issues the prefects had encountered the past few weeks, and a few unresolved ones, too. None of them were too serious; mostly Slytherins bullying muggle-borns, Sirius getting caught on his sexcapades twice, and petty dramas that result in catfights, fistfights, and whatnots.

The thing that mostly kept James up all night, though, was not in anyway related to being head of some sorts.

It had been Lily Evans, of course.

The bright, young witch had been almost civil towards him the entire meeting. Despite his usual flirtatious remarks and occasional winks, Lily would opt to smile at him instead, or playfully roll her eyes. None of her loud rejections and low-key offending nicknames were heard throughout the night. The girl's actions certainly brought his hopes straight up.

Could it be that, perhaps, she was starting to warm up to him? After all, they were pretty close back in first year. Could the redhead, for the love of Merlin, finally catch feelings for him?

Certainly six years of waiting on James part is enough, isn't it?

The thought made his eyes stay open all night. When the first rays of sun scattered from his blinds did he only felt the exhaustion and sleepiness take over his body. He had another hour or two before class, and so he decided to spent them in bed, taking what little sleep he can get.

Milla Rosamund, obviously, was up for a very different reason.

She had been used to being in the shadows all her life, and that is mainly why she was so observant. Of course, it didn't miss her of the slight development between James and her ladylove the night before. It had peaked her interests, is all.

How could one claim to be in love with a person whilst being sexually attracted to another?

She rubbed her sleepy eyes and continued walking.

"Rosamund!" She looked back to see Remus and Peter running after her. They stopped abruptly with a huff from the scarred boy and a wheeze from the short one.

She merely raised her eyebrows at them, "Yes?"

Remus gestured with his hand and they continued walking at a slower pace. "I was wondering if you could take notes for me tomorrow? It would really mean a lot. Besides, you take the best notes and I understand them right away. So...?"

She smiled lightheartedly at the breathless boy. "Of course, Lupin. It's nothing new. I always take notes for you at least once a month, although Merlin knows why." he looked horrified at her statement, so she continued. "Don't worry, I won't pry. I'd be happy to help."

Remus smiled gratefully at her before nudging Peter. The short boy stopped chewing on his eclair ( _where did he get those?_ ) and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Milla, have you by any chance seen James?" she playfully glared at the boy, knowing how nervous he gets. "I-i I'm not uh implying anything just—"

"It's fine, Peter," she laughed. "I was just joking with you. About that, I didn't notice your friend leave his room earlier. Perhaps he's taking a sick day off."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she shrugged at them. "Beats me why. He should he ecstatic with the way Lily accepted his advances, well, in a way, last night."

The two stopped walking and stood in front of her. Remus was the one who spoke, "And you're okay with that?"

Milla furrowed her eyebrows. "Yeah, why not? Just because I slept with Potter doesn't mean I'm in love with him."

"Really?" Peter widened his eyes. "You're okay with that? But doesn't it seem like, I don't know, like he used you?"

"It's fine. I kind of used him too, don't you think? Anyways, I'm off to the library. See you guys at class. Oh, and best be careful, it's a full moon tonight after all," she winked at them.

She didn't notice Remus shiver slightly at her words, the boy's face looking paler than snow. Peter patted his back, just as awestruck, before dragging his friend away.

-

"Prongs," Remus announced his presence by storming inside James' room, with Peter and Sirius in tow. "Have you said anything to Milla about my... condition?"

James sat up swiftly on his bed. "What? No! Why would I ever..?"

"Well," Sirius started, walking towards the bespectacled boy and dropping himself back first on his bed. "Moony, here, is getting a little paranoid because your girlfriend number two told him, and I quote, 'best be careful, it's a full moon tonight after all'." He mocked Milla, voice pitched annoyingly higher.

"Moony," James chuckled, choosing to ignore Sirius calling Milla his second girlfriend. "You know that was completely hypothetical, right? She was just saying something based on stereotypes,"

"Yes, but one can never be too sure," the boy rubbed his temples, feeling gloomy all of a sudden. 

"Hey," James stood up and went to wrap his arms around his friend's shoulders. "Don't worry, okay? We understand you're feeling the effects of the full moon especially stronger today. We're here, Moony, okay? No need to be stressed about it. We're here right now, we'll be here tonight when you go all furry on us and it could be 14 years from now and we'll still be here because we're too stubborn to leave you alone to suffer."

"God, Prongs, you have sex with Rosamund once and you get all soft on us," Remus joked, but wiped at the traitorous tears on his eyes.

James groaned, blushing red before falling back onto his bed beside Sirius. "That's not going away anytime soon,"

Sirius snorted before patting his chest. "So long as we're here, Mate, we'll never let you live down the fact that you got some by being a creep and stalking a naked girl in the prefects' bathroom,"

"I wasn't stalking her!" he exclaimed, feeling blood rush ever more to his chest, face, and ears. "Why do I even bother with you guys?"

"You love us, that's why," Peter answered before pulling on Remus' arm and falling on top of the two boys.

"Look at us," Sirius huffs. "Bunch of arseholes in a dog, stag, rat, and werewolf pile."

"You love it, though," Remus smirks, ruffling Sirius' hair and making the boy groan and slap his hands away. "We all love it."


	11. Chapter 11

The next day was the worst yet since the Marauders went into their seventh year. The full moon the night prior had drained all four of them, with James and Remus still in the hospital wing, Sirius bedridden, and Peter being the last man (rat) standing.

Being the only one capable to attend classes, Peter was also the designated note-taker, which is slightly problematic since during class, you can find the short boy either drifting off to sleep, or eating behind his textbook. The only logical solution he could come up with is to ask someone for help. Who better than the head girl herself?

"What is it with your friends and skipping classes together at least once a month? I thought it's just a Remus thing," Milla had responded to him when he asked for her help.

The poor boy stumbled with his words with panic-stricken face before finally uttering out, "James and Rem are in the hospital wing and Sirius can't get out of bed..."

The head girl's eyes widened at least twice the its size. "What?"

He scratched behind his ears while shifting on his feet. "Prank gone wrong, is all."

Milla shook her head before walking past Peter, muttering under her breath. "Already taking notes for Lupin anyway,"

That afternoon, with arms filled with parchment and feeling just a tiny bit silly, Milla Rosamund found herself outside the Hospital Wing.

 _Honestly, what is wrong with me?_ She rolled her eyes inwardly at herself.

"Shouldn't even fucking care," she hisses before pushing at the doors with her body. And as if Merlin was playing a game with her, the rolls of parchment in her arms tumbled down just as she went inside.

"Fuck!" she huffed, before kneeling down on the floor to pick the damned things up. "Seriously, I shouldn't even be here. Could've given the notes to them tomorrow."

She continued cursing herself while gathering her things, and only stopping when a shadow dimmed the light in front of her.

"Rosamund?" Sirius stood in front of her with nasty wounds all over his face. "What are you doin— oh." He suddenly smirked at her.

She rolled her eyes and stood up. "I know what you're thinking and you're wrong," she dusted off her skirt. "Peter sent me to give Remus and James notes."

"Sure," the long-haired boy grinned at her.

"You know what? Since you're already here, you can just give these to Jam— uh them. Give these to them,"

"I'm actually heading out now to meet Peter. So you go do your thing," he gestured to the door. "I'm out,"

Huffing once again, she scanned her eyes until she found a huge, red and gold balloon at the far end of the infirmary that says 'get well, captain!'.

_Of course. Mr. Popular._

She walked over to his bed, seeing Remus' right beside his. The two were sleeping peacefully in spite of James' left arm being in a cast and Remus looking like he's seen better days.

James' eyes fluttered open at the sound of her heeled shoes, squinting at the sudden light. "Milla?"

She stops for a second, contemplating before going over Remus' bed instead when seeing the boy wake up himself. "Hey Rem,"

"What the fuck," she hears James mutter as she walks past his bed, making Milla bite her lips to keep herself from laughing out loud, her shoulder shaking.

"I took down notes for you, just like we talked about yesterday," she smiles, placing separate rolls of parchment on his side-table. "I separated the notes per subject so it would be easier for you."

"Thanks, Rosamund," Remus tries to grin at her but flinches. "You're a lifesaver,"

She could hear James huff behind her, making her smile and wink at Remus who rolls his eyes.

"Didn't even spare me a glance..." James was in the middle of a pity-ramble when Milla finally faces him.

"What did you do this time, Potter?"

He gaped at her (as he always seem to do). "Why do you always assume that it's me who did something?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Well, you are the one with the cast, are you not?"

"Shut up," he grumbled before pulling his blanket over his face with his right hand.

"Stop being such a drama queen, Prongs, that's Sirius' job," Remus says before facing away from them.

James laid still underneath his blanket, making Milla roll her eyes. "Fine, be that way. I guess I'll just give Sirius the notes I took for you,"

Slowly, he peaked eyes out from the blanket he's hiding from. "Are they color-coded?"

She scoffed before tossing the parchments by his feet. James laughed out loud. "Sod off, Potter."

Milla settled herself at his good arm side before flicking his forehead.

"Ow!"

"I shouldn't even be here," she told him, snuggling closer to his body.

_What? It's cold and I'm in need of body heat._

"Keep telling yourself that, Rosamund." he pulls at a strand of her hair. "Or you can admit that you're here because you've been thinking about my proposition."

She couldn't find the words to deny that she, in fact, had been thinking about the stupid idea James came up with. So, instead, she muttered a "whatever," and pressed her body against him closer.

"You know, I think you have a chance with Lily Evans after all," Milla suddenly pointed out, her breath fanning against James' neck.

He hummed before sighing heavily, gaze on the ceiling. "What makes you say that?"

"I just noticed,"

He smiles slightly before turning to look at her. "I hope you're right,"

"I know I am," she chuckled. "And if I so happen to be right, it wouldn't be too good if she finds out about whatever we're doing."

His hand slips around her waist and squeezes her hips, making Milla yelp and slap his chest. "That's the thing; she won't find out."

"You are so stupid sometimes, James Pott—"

"Just kiss me already, Rosamund," he interrupts, pulling her impossibly closer, pouting. "To make all my boo boo's better,"

She laughs loudly. "Boo boo's? Where did that come from?"

"Some muggle tv show. So?"

"Well, I should help heal your boo boo's, shouldn't I?"

She doesn't let him respond. She just kisses him silly.


	12. Chapter 12

Colder days were usual by the time the first week of October rolled around. Students couldn't go outside without scarves anymore because of the cool Scottish winds, and meals weren't complete without hot cups of tea and soup. Although most students prefer to enjoy the warmth of their respective common rooms, the Marauders decided to spend their time by the great lake.

"If you used Prongs' cloak to sleep then maybe you'd still have a home, Padfoot." Peter's muffled voice from stuffing a whole muffin in his mouth fills the silence, absentmindedly dusting off his robes.

Sirius scrunches up his face in mock disgust before throwing a pebble at the hungry boy, "I already have a home."

"Yeah," James agreed before throwing an arm around Sirius. "With me,"

Remus fake gagged, "I'm so sick of you two."

"Don't be jealous, Moony!" The head boy started to tease until he saw two figures walking by them. One with long, fiery red hair, and one with dirty blonde. The latter, he was pretty familiar with physically.

He stopped moving immediately after spotting the two girls who have his love and lust walking together. "Lads, please tell me that is not Evans with Rosamund."

The three sat up straight from their places in the picnic blanket they propped themselves on, staring blatantly at the two girls.

"Prongs, mate, you're so screwed." Sirius laughs loudly.

James watched the pair standing a few feet from them, his heart beating loudly in his chest.

_What the hell is going on?_

Milla laughs at something Lily says and waves goodbye before the prefect goes in another direction, leaving the head girl alone. As if sensing the four pairs of eyes on her, she turns toward the Marauders and playfully rolls her eyes.

"What just happened?" James says frantically just as Milla reached them. "Were my eyes deceiving me?"

"Stop being so dramatic, Potter," she scoffs before crossing her arms over her chest. "Lily and I were just talking about NEWTs."

The boy stood up and towered over her, "But you don't just talk to anyone,"

She glared at him. "I can talk to whoever I want. Don't worry, I'm not sabotaging your chance with Evans."

"That's not what I was implying," he frowns before wrapping a hand around her wrist. "C'mon, we're the ones who need to talk."

He hears her sigh before reluctantly following. Milla didn't question him when he led her past the Gryffindor common rooms, and didn't utter a word when he shut the door to their dorm.

"Would you feel more comfortable talking in your room or mine?"

She didn't answer, instead making her way towards her room. She looked back only once to check whether James was following.

Milla sat down on the edge of her bed, bouncing slightly. "So?"

The boy was blushing even before he started talking. "Can I?" he gestured beside her. She nodded in reply.

The truth was the past few nights were spent restless in James' case. He couldn't get Milla out of his dreams, so he lacked sleep. But he also couldn't get her out of his _daydreams_ , so really he loses either way. It seemed to have been way too long since that night with the head girl, and every day since then had him sweating with sexual frustration.

He really didn't understand the situation himself. He knew that his feelings for Lily haven't changed. His heart still skips a beat whenever their eyes meet, and it still stings whenever she rejects him.

But another part of him is still unbelievably sexually attracted to Milla Rosamund.

He just couldn't help himself. If Lily makes his heart skip a beat, seeing Milla makes his whole body shiver. Sometimes he doesn't even realize he's staring in awe at her until Sirius or someone else nudges him out of his trance. It physically aches to not touch her. Everything is confusing for the head boy.

He sighed heavily before sitting down beside Milla. "My proposition was pretty stupid, huh?"

"Very much so,"

"I guess we shouldn't... do that again." He mumbled, looking down and playing with his hands.

She suddenly places her palm flat on his back, making a shiver run down James' spine. "I completely agree. It's..." she trailed off. "...wrong."

"Absolutely wrong," he whispered, eyes looking after her wandering right hand that has now found its way to his lap.

Milla lets out a short breath before speaking. "So are we in agreement?"

He nodded right away. "We are."

-

"Shit!" Milla curses when she heard a sharp tear, the sleeve of her robes now in pieces. Growling, she slaps James' bare back, making the boy with crooked glasses wince. "You ruined my robes!"

He chuckles before trailing kisses down her neck, nipping and licking his way down. "I'll fix it later,"

She gasps when he bites particularly harder. "You better,"

The pair fumbled with their clothes for a bit before finally getting rid of them. James wasted no time massaging her breasts, lightly pinching her taut nipples while his lips made its way down her flat stomach.

He sucks on her right hipbone, making her back arch. Putting one hand on her torso to keep her from moving, James continued to nibble on her inner thighs.

"Fucking do something," Milla pants, gripping his curly hair in her hands to try and bring his face closer to where she needs him the most.

He growls against her thighs, "I can already fucking smell you, baby. You're dripping,"

It was fascinating to witness this side of James. Outside the bedroom, he was a mischievous prankster, and would almost seem immature with the way he acts around his friends. He also appears to be inexperienced when you observe the way he is around Lily Evans.

Never in the seven years that she knew him would Milla ever think that James Potter had a penchant for dirty talking.

But that doesn't mean that she doesn't enjoy it. Enjoy _him._

"Please," she moaned the only word she seemed to chant whenever they find themselves in the same situation.

He caressed everywhere but her mound, making her legs tremble and her breath hitch. "Please what, baby? What do you want?"

Sweat was building up on her forehead, and all she could think of was that she needed to feel some sort of friction. Milla tried to close her legs for some sort of relief but James wouldn't let her, tutting before prying them open again.

"Your mouth," she finally panted, tone begging. She gripped whatever part of his body that she could, the frustration feeling ten times worse. "Your mouth, please."

He hummed before blowing cool air directly on her clit. "Where do you want me to put my mouth?"

Milla shivered at his dark tone. She struggled to let the dirty words out of her mouth. She has never felt dirtier and sexier before. "On my cunt, please."

Before she could let out another breath, James practically devoured her.

His mouth expertly sucked on her engorged clit, while his finger probed her entrance. The action itself made Milla's eyes roll back, mouth hanging open with a throaty whine of his name.

She gripped the back of James' neck to press him closer, grinding on his face. He lets out a groan before shoving two fingers in. The vibration was enough to make her clench and the tightening in her stomach to appear.

"I'm so close," she cried out.

Suddenly, he pulled away completely, no part of his skin touching hers. "Taste yourself," he hisses before pressing his lips harshly against hers, tongue diving right in.

They didn't struggle for dominance; James already has it.

Within a swift movement, he pulled her on top, legs spread on either side of him. Hearing Milla groan at the change of position, he smirked. "You quite like being on top, don't you?"

She only giggled before taking his shaft and guiding him to her entrance. The anticipation of his length filling her to the brim was enough to make her clench furiously.

"Take me," she pants, closing her eyes in preparation for his invasion.

With a quick snap of his hips, he did just as she said.

_To hell with this being wrong._


	13. Chapter 13

Milla wished she didn't give in to James Potter. She really did. But the truth was she was to blame as much as the boy. They were both at fault. The worst part was she didn't even regret it. Not when he led her to her room, not when she let her hand drift from his back to his lap, not when they were taking off their clothes one by one, hell, not even when James ripped the sleeve of her robes. She was just so attracted to the guy, that the relief from his touch far outweighs the regret.

"Here," he sat soundly on the chair in front of her in the library, tossing her now fixed robe on the table. She clutched it and stuffed the clothing item in her bag before anyone looking could suspect what's happening. "I told you I'd fix it,"

She leaned over the table and pinched his cheek. "If you want to continue pursuing Evans, we have to keep things between us low-key."

He winked at her. "How low-key exactly is pinching my cheeks for everyone here to see?"

She rolls her eyes at him just in time for Sirius, Remus and Peter to walk over. Standing up, she faced the three boys and gave them each a hard pinch on the cheeks as well. "See? Very low-key,"

James only pulled a silly face at her as a response. His three friends looked at each other confusingly but shrugged it off.

Being in this... situation with James meant being around fairly often with his friends as well. Milla wasn't opposed to that; the Marauders, although masters of pranks and mischiefs, were in a way tolerable. Plus, it was nice to have people to talk to without the formality of being head girl or the awkwardness of unfamiliarity. The only thing she despised was the amount of attention hanging around the four got her. It didn't miss her ears when a few students would mutter unfriendly things when she walks by, even when there's nothing confirmed. It seemed like being friends with the boys is reason enough to dislike her.

"Milla," her eyes and widened at the familiar voice she began to dread. Turning around reluctantly, she sees Cormac with tensed jaw standing behind her. "Can we talk?"

James' eyes immediately searched for her's in alert, sitting up straight and it looked like he widened his shoulders to appear bigger and buffer. It didn't even matter, though. James was bigger than Cormac in every way possible. Height, built, coc— never mind.

She sighed irritatingly at the head boy before looking back at her ex boyfriend. He still looked gorgeous, but not in the heart-melting way Milla seemed to think when they were still together. His eyes sparkled in the natural lighting by the window, hair slightly wind-swept and cheeks flushed no doubt from the cold.

_Sigh._

Milla finds herself wishing he wasn't such a social-climbing, pretentious, arsehole. Only he was, and she didn't really have the time for those type of people.

"What do you wan—" before she could finish her sentence, she found herself being led away from the marauders and into the next, unfortunately deserted aisle. Huffing, she yanked back her arm and crossed both in front of her chest. "What do you want?"

Cormac glared at her for a straight ten seconds before his eyes softened. "Is this your way of getting back at me?"

Milla threw her hands up in frustration before pointing a finger at the arsehole. "How many times do I have to tell you that not everything revolves around you?"

"You noticed that I was gradually becoming part of the popular crowd since we broke up and you start whoring around to the only group of people who could possibly be more popula—"

She didn't let the bastard finish. She just slapped the bloody hell out of him. She was pretty sure it would leave a mark. And she was also pretty sure that she heard cheers behind her. She turned around, confused, only to see the Marauders, but not quite. It's them, but only their floating heads were visible.

"How...?"

Their eyes widened before disappearing again in a second.

"What the fuck?" she said out loud.

-

Milla almost broke her quill when a heavy body plopped down on the couch beside her. It was a few minutes past six, and instead of eating dinner in the Great Hall, she decided to stay in the "common room" (really it's just a small space with a couch, fireplace and coffee table) of the head dorms to do her homework. Her surprise caused her to draw a long, jagged line across the parchment she's writing on.

_Great. Now I have to start over._

"Potter," she growled playfully, slapping the boy's arm and ignoring his cheeky grin. That grin is dangerous for the female population.

"Rosamund," he acknowledged. "We don't have classes tomorrow. Why the bloody hell are you doing homework now?"

Basically, it was his way of saying 'get a life!' without offending her.

"I'd rather do this than sit in the great hall surrounded by drama queens and idiots who talk way too loudly and eat way too less." she scoffs, tossing her quill on the table and leaning her back against the velvet cover of the couch. "Besides, I'm not hungry." Just as she says this, her stomach gave an opposing growl.

James raised his brows, mocking her lightly, before reaching his hands into nowhere, carefully unwrapping something Milla couldn't see and suddenly, a thick cloak appeared in his hands and by his side of the couch, a tray with food good enough for five people.

She could only gasp at the sight. Seven years in a wizardry school and still, she reacts at magic like a certified muggle-born, which she was.

"It's an invisibility cloak," he says before putting the tray on his lap. "You should love me for this."

She tried to fight off a smile but seeing the boy toss a mozzarella stick in his mouth while crossing his eyes at her was too much. Her lips took action of their own and stretched widely. It was the biggest smile she gave him yet.

"Fine. Thank you," she mumbled, and before she could overthink, Milla pressed a light kiss on his cheek, making him tense for a moment before throwing crumbs her way.

He dusted off his fingers before handing her a plate. "So,"

"So?" she repeated his words, raising a brow at him.

"I think I'm going to ask Lily out for Hogsmeade again later, when the prefects come for the reports." He says casually while taking a napkin and reaching over to wipe the side of her lips as if it was a usual thing to do.

She hummed, but James wasn't sure if it was an answer to his statement or a reaction to the savory taste of the steak she had in her mouth. "You go do that," she nods at him before leaning so that her back was pressed against his chest.

They proceeded to eat dinner with small talk, both trying to ignore the fact that the welcomed warmth that their bodies deliver to each other had been almost as intimate as their sexual endeavors.


	14. Chapter 14

The morning after, Milla woke up with something—or rather, someone— tickling her neck. She didn't have to open her eyes to know who it was.

Butterfly kisses were given to her neck, down to her shoulders and chest. She didn't want to let James know that she was already awake, but the change of her breathing to the rapid rise and fall of her chest have given her away. "Good morning," he mumbled into her skin.

"What are you doing?" she hummed, opening her tired eyes and propping on her elbows to look at the naughty boy properly.

"Hopefully, if I make the right moves this morning, you," he answered cheekily, winking at her. Before she could retort an answer, he pressed his lips eagerly against hers.

Kissing James was indescribable. His lips were soft and warm, but the intent and lust behind his kisses were made obvious by the way he pulls her by the nape of her neck to press themselves closer. Milla still wasn't sure what exactly she was doing. All she knew was that she was having a lot of fun, and that the rush that comes with being with James had been the best feeling she has ever felt. As long as they weren't harming anyone, the pair really couldn't see a single flaw in their so called 'best-laid plan'.

Her breath caught in her throat as he expertly massaged her breasts through the silk of the nightgown she managed to throw on the evening before. The thin material had almost been see-through, and glistened in the morning light like the sweat building on her chest. "You shouldn't wake me up like this if you want us to ever get out of bed," Her voice was rough and deeper than usual with sleep, as was his. She ran her fingers through the mess that was her blonde hair before clutching her bedsheets in anticipation.

The boy deliberately ignored her words and moved his hands to massage and fumble her thighs, slowly lifting up her nightie until it was hitched by her hips. James groaned loudly before placing his forehead on her stomach. "No knickers? You're killing me here, baby,"

She chuckled before lifting her hips off the mattress to close the gap between her sex and his face.

James placed both hands behind her ass, cupping and pinching, while his mouth did its work. He licked a bold stripe along her wet slit, gathering her juices in his tongue and moaning in delight. "You taste amazing, Rosamund."

She gasped and dug her head into her pillows when she felt his tongue probing her entrance while his nose bumped into her clit. Unable to control her body any longer, she let herself grind against his face with James helping her body move with his hands still tucked beneath her. Milla could only hope she won't suffocate the boy.

"Yes, baby," she breathed out when he moved to suck her sensitive bud into his sinful mouth. "J-just... just like that,"

His lips felt so good on her that it almost hurt. But she welcomed the pain with a cry of his name. 

James groaned throughout her orgasm, as if making her cum gave him pleasure as well. For a few moments, white engulfed her vision before returning to normal. She looked at James who shifted and was now face-to-face with her, his weight supported by his shoulders on either side of her head.

Her juices had been decorating the area around his mouth and the tip of his nose, cheeks flushed and lips in a wide smirk. He moved to kiss her, sensually, soundly, making her taste herself on his tongue.

When Milla pulled away, James followed her lips but she put a hand on his chest to halt his actions, huffing a breath. Still breathless from their kiss and James' 'breakfast', she smiled drowsily at him. "What was that for?"

He grinned before quickly pecking her plump lips. "Payment," she looked at him confusedly and urged him to go on with a nod. "For Evans, you know? You were right, about me having a chance."

"Oh..?"

"Yeah," he grinned before pressing another kiss on her cheeks swiftly. "I asked her out as planned last night and she said yes!"

Milla's eyes cleared when his words sunk in. "Good for you, Potter!" she praises. Before he could say another word, she mustered enough strength to roll both of them over and straddled his hips. She leaned in to lick his lower lip and suck it into her mouth, grinding against his prominent hard-on. "Now, let's finished what you so generously started, shall we?"

-

She was on her way back to a carriage that would take her back to Hogwarts when the tall figure of Remus Lupin approached her. "What exactly are you doing, you naughty girl, you?"

She gave a slight start at his appearance before smiling at him albeit confusingly. "What do you mean?"

The scarred boy rolled his eyes and threw an arm around her shoulders, both making their way to the carriages. "You know that Prongs it out on a date with Lily right this second, right?"

"Prongs?"

"James," he corrected.

She nodded at the odd nickname. "Oh, well yes. He's talked about it last night before reports. And possibly this morning. In bed..." she trailed off, blushing and looking at him with a shy grin.

He laughed unbelievably at her before gripping her shoulders. "Oh, Milla. What plans have you got with this thing with James?"

She frowned at Remus then. "I don't really know what you're talking about."

"Listen," he started. "Sex is sex. No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that no emotion would be attached, sex _is_ about emotions. It's driven by it. Perhaps you don't feel anything now, but you will. All that kissing and intimacy and jazz connect people. You and James aren't immune to that."

She only raised an eyebrow at him, which urged the lad to continue. "Milla, I've been best friends with James for years. I know that guy, and I know how deeply he feels for Lily. If it so happens that you feel the connection before he does, you're in for a lot of heart break."

"Is that your way of telling me to stay away while I can?" she asked with feigned humor.

The truth was she believed every word that came out of Remus' mouth. Even Milla was aware of how whipped James Potter was on Lily Evans. Hell, he talks about the redhead after eating her out! That certainly says something. And although she was undeniably attracted to the boy, she just couldn't see them together outside the bedroom. Their bodies were so compatible that sometimes she ponders whether they were made for each other, but that's only within the physical sense. She couldn't imagine ever being actually in love with James Potter rather than just his body.

"Remus," she sighed, looking at the boy through her eyelashes. "I know what I'm getting myself into, and honestly the thrill of getting hurt in the end kind of only adds to the fuel."

The boy only looked at her pointedly. They could see the various carriages up ahead now, with students littered across Hogsmeade in their casual wears. No doubt, some have been looking curiously at the pair.

She smiled at Remus before untucking herself from his hold. In the background she could see Sirius and Peter with each a pair of binoculars, obviously spying on Potter and Evans. "Okay, fine. I promise that once I feel this so-called 'connection' you're telling me about, I'll stop. I'll stay away from your 'Prongs' or whatever. Deal?"

He narrowed his eyes at her before nodding. "Fine. Deal. Just so you know, I'm telling you this as your friend, and not James'"

"I know," she says softly, grinning at the boy. With a wave of her wand, she conjured a pair of binoculars in her hands and handed them to Remus. "Now go and spy on Potter with your friends. Holla if she slaps him or if he embarrasses himself."

The boy laughed languidly for a moment before waving at her and walking back to his friends. Milla stood silent for a moment, glancing at the three idiots hiding outside The Three Broomsticks; the idiots that somehow had become her friends. She found herself longing to see James' figure among the group and shook her head in the process.

_Connection, he said? Well to hell with that as well._


	15. Chapter 15

A deep sigh was heard throughout James Potter's room as he slowly pulled out of Milla Rosamund. The girl could only coo at the suddenly empty feeling he left. He stood up and walked stark naked towards his dresser where he got a small white towel, muttering " _Aguamenti_ ," to dampen it and proceeded to gently wipe her sensitive privates down to her inner thighs and cum-decorated stomach courtesy of him.

It was past two o'clock in the morning, and they've been at it since eleven but still three rounds later they don't feel as satiated as they should. Perhaps it was the dreaded fact that sooner or later, whatever the fuck they were doing has got to stop.

"I'm hungry," she says to try and divert their attention to the pressing matter at hand. "Let's go on a trip to the Hufflepuffs', shall we?"

They say nothing as they slowly dressed and made their way our of their dorms. The walk was slow and quiet, James having his invisibility cloak in hand in case they run into Filch or someone else.

It was no secret that James Potter's date with Lily Evans had gone surprisingly well.

The whole school had been buzzing about it Saturday evening, and Milla didn't miss the smug grin Cormac had sent her way when he walked past her. Many were talking about how they had witnessed the couple share a kiss with butterbeer lining their lips and blushed the whole way back to the castle.

Milla could almost taste the said butterbeer in James' mouth when he sought her out the same night and fucked her; perhaps his way of celebrating.

They reached the kitchens in a few minutes time and she watched James tickle the pear to open the door. Inside, it was also alarmingly quiet, save for a few elves preparing the tools needed for the morning feast coming in a few hours. They greeted the workers politely and stated their own orders.

"Are we going to stop?" it had been Milla who broke the silence. She had just finished sucking her fingers clean from the chocolate muffin she devoured when she sighed heavily and spoke. The head boy beside her had sat up straight and looked at her with wide eyes and mouth, opening and closing like that of a fish. She lets out a quiet, humorless chuckle before speaking again, answering her own question. "We should probably stop."

He didn't say anything for a few moments, gathering their plates and placing them on a sink nearby. When he sat back down, he could only say three words. "I love Lily,"

Another chuckle left Milla's lips. "I know."

"But I'm also in love with what we're doing," he frowned, clenching his fists by his sides as if to help him gain control of the situation. "And if I even think about stoping, it's like it would physically hurt me."

She whispered this time. "I know."

Silence once again.

Milla took a deep breath before taking his hand. "Listen, Potter. If you're going to be with Evans, we can't keep seeing each other. Gryffindors are supposed to be loyal; live up to your house."

"Milla—"

She cut him off by removing their intertwined hands. "This is it then. We're stopping this," he gave her a frustrated look that she deliberately ignored. "It's been fun," she almost cringed at her choice of words, and it was clear James had not appreciated them either by the glare he gave her.

"Yes," his tone had been biting, spitting out words. "Fun,"

Not much has been said after that. Perhaps there had been a few strained and angry kisses and reluctant stares before Milla shut the door to her room and was finally left alone.

She didn't ask Potter to make a choice, but somehow her mind was still screaming at him: ' _choose me!_ '

-

Monday morning had been odd.

She didn't stop to stare at James' door like she usually does. She walked straight ahead and ignored the tugging of her mind to knock. In the great hall, she packed up a PB&J sandwich and two pieces of bacon in her ziplock bag before proceeding to the library to secretly eat. She tried to ignore the fact that the Marauders had been uncharacteristically quiet while eating their breakfast and that James was nowhere to be seen.

On her way out, she passed by the bespectacled boy and his new redhead lover holding hands while entering. She locked eyes with him for only exactly two point four seconds before looking down.

When she finally sat down on her first class for the day, being ten minutes early and one of the only people inside, she finally realized that she was back to her old routine when Cormac and her broke up.

Milla Rosamund was back to being the lonely head girl with no friends.

The connection Remus had been talking about had been pretty much nonexistent after that.


	16. Chapter 16

Friday night a few weeks later saw a 7 pm meeting with the prefects in the small 'common room' in James and Milla's dorm. Everyone was present, arranged by levels and houses. Everyone but two.

Milla gave Remus a pointed look, a silent question: ' _where the fuck is your friend?_ ' but he could only shrug apologetically in reply. If it were up to her, they would have started ages ago. But she couldn't start without the freaking head boy.

It was approximately 7:38 pm when giggles were heard from outside the door. A shocker really, since Lily Evans never giggles. A few fumbling seconds later, the two flustered couple bursted in the room with every prefect, Milla included, staring at them.

"Sorry we're late, uhm.." Lily flushed, looking at the head girl. "We were— uh, I was busy... doing... stuff."

She raised an eyebrow at the two of them, James preoccupied with mouthing to Remus, "I'm stuff!"

She noticed, and it took all of her self-control not to glare and deduct house points. After all, she would be the one who would look bitter, punishing Hogwarts' golden couple.

Milla cleared her throat to compose herself, "Let's begin, shall we?"

After the meeting that dragged on for half an hour, the prefects one by one left in groups. Milla called Evans' attention and gestured to her office, making Remus and James stare at her bewilderedly. She promptly ignored the two.

Lily sat down on a chair in front of her small desk and smiled brightly at her. "So, what's up?"

"Lily, I know that you've been preoccupied with a new relationship recently," she started, trying hard to make her voice sound as professional as possible. The redhead blushed as bright as her hair. "But I fear your focus and priorities aren't lined up right. I just don't want your... boyfriend to distract you too much. You're one of the top students of our year,"

The girl looked down and bit her lip to hide her ever darkening cheeks. "I'm so sorry about earlier, Milla. I promise it won't happen again."

Milla smiled at the girl before dismissing her.

How can she possibly dislike Lily Evans? She was the sweetest, kindest girl Milla had ever met. She was only ever rude to Potter until recently. She was always willing to be her friend and it was Milla that stayed away. It would be easier to hate her if she wasn't the way she was. But she was, and the truth was Lily deserved to be happy. Potter, too. They deserve each other. Their seven years in the making relationship paled in comparison to Milla and James' fling, if you could call it that. They weren't even anything, just toys to help the other meet release.

Who gave her the right to feel that weird, heavy feeling about their relationship? 

That night, she tried to get herself off to other thoughts; the first orgasm she craved since James. But said thoughts of the muggle artists she had crushes on, or their neighbor in their summer vacation home in the States who Milla always thought would be a good lay weren't enough. She couldn't even reach her peak. She was dry. She was frustrated. She was alone.

As petty as she thinks it to be, that was the first time Milla Rosamund had shed tears from her pathetic predicament.

-

James Potter couldn't remember being this happy.

Being with Lily had been amazing; his heart flutters at the mere thought of her. Her kisses were warm and soft and so different from Milla's rough, hot and eager ones and why in the name of Merlin was he thinking of another girl's lips when he was supposed to be thinking of his girlfriend and only his girlfriend?

_Girlfriend._

He almost blushed at the term. Exactly how long has he been waiting to call Evans that? Just short of seven years, was it? The satisfaction of achieving his 12 year old self's dream almost overthrew his happiness at finally dating the redhead.

_How could I be so luck—_

James thoughts were cut off by a quiet but distinct moan coming from Milla's room.

_No._

_Is she...?_

_No._

She couldn't, right? They just recently stopped. Could she already find someone so soon?

_No._

But there was it again. The unmistakable sound coming from her lips; a sound James was all too familiar with.

"Please," and that beg. James knew that beg.

He couldn't resist. Not when he was just starting to figure things out, starting to finally get over his 'Milla phase' or what the Marauders insist to call it. Before he knew it, he's taken the four sinful steps it took to get to her door. Ajar.

It was like she meant for him to hear how he was in fact just another lay; an itch to scratch. And why did he feel so weird about that? It's not like they were committed. From the start, they both knew the only things that would be attached between them were their bodies. She certainly made that clear.

" _It's been fun_ ," her words echoed on his mind like a broken record. Was that all he ever really was? Fun?

But what exactly did he expect, when every single time they fucked, he made sure to bring up Lily, if only just to remind himself that he still have his feelings figured out? If only to reassure himself that nothing's changed?

But everything has changed, hasn't it?

 _Just one peek_ , he tells himself. _Just one look and I'm done. For good._

He forgot how to breathe for a second.

He loved Lily, right? He loved Lily but still, he clenched his fingers into a fist when he caught sight of her dirty blonde hair spread across the stark white sheets of her bed, fingers curled inside her own heat as she desperately tried to bring herself to some sort of release.

When he did breathe, it was of some twisted relief.

Because Milla wasn't with another lover.

Milla was alone.


	17. Chapter 17

When the probability of seeing the Marauders in detention was close to a hundred percent, especially since James and Milla decided to quit sleeping with each other, the head girl would proudly say that she'd do anything to behave. But no amount of behaving she could have done would change the fact that Professor Mcgonagall asked her to supervise detention that evening.

She knew James probably wouldn't be present, anyway. He had been maturing ever since the start of the school year mostly due to his head position. Remus, she could believe he wouldn't be present all the time. The guy was too studious to waste an hour sitting at a classroom doing nothing. Peter, she guesses could also be MIA. The boy was probably eating away somewhere else. Sirius... well, Sirius definitely would be present.

Of all the guesses Milla made pertaining to the four lads, she was only correct about one.

Firstly, Remus actually was there right at the front row, doing homework (which she got right but he was still in detention). Peter was also present and eating beside the scarred boy. Sirius, of course, was there, snoring away.

The one that shocked her the most was the bespectacled boy sitting in Mcgonnagal's desk supervising the small group of troublemakers present.

_What?_

He looked bored, if anything else. His face was resting on one hand and his eyes, droopy. His glasses were crooked and were almost falling off his nose. Another hand was busy making tap noises on the table. If he weren't sitting in front of everyone, Milla would think he was just a regular student serving punishment, but the head boy badge that stood out proudly against his robes made her think otherwise.

He's heard her come in. The crappy door to the transfiguration classroom creaks at the smallest of actions and catches attention swiftly in the rather quiet room. Only James looked up at her, though. Others were too preoccupied.

Their eyes locked, and Milla had the feeling of dread and running away that she's recently been feeling a lot the past few days whenever she finds herself near his company. He looked shocked to see her, too. After all, given the efforts they both made just so they wouldn't bump into each other despite sleeping in the same dorm, seeing face to face in detention of all places was least expected.

He clears his throat and she gulps the lump in hers. "Rosamund," he starts, tone wary. "What are you doing here?"

"Professor Mcgonagall asked me to supervise," she answered curtly before taking slow, steady steps towards him.

He frowns for a second. "What? She asked me to do the same thing!"

"Oh," she nods before heading back towards the door. "I can leave, if that's what you're..."

She didn't finish her sentence and exits the classroom. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, she leaned against the wall directly next to the door outside and let herself count to ten to calm down.

Why was she so affected, anyways? It's not like she could smell him within the safe space she put between them. Sure, she can still recall the scent of his perfume and sweat most days but that's just because they've been close physically before. It's not like he was the first person she slept with. Why the bloody hell was she so affected?

The door beside her slammed open and out came the one person she dreaded most to see. "Milla," James breathed out, looking slightly surprised to see her still outside.

"What are you doing?" she straightened her back. "You're supposed to be looking after the students,"

"I think we need to talk,"

The last time Milla and James had a 'talk' was probably also the last time they had been in each other's company for more that five minutes alone. And let's not forget that that was also the time they decided to get out of the pleasure frenzy they both found themselves tangled in. So no, Milla wasn't really up for another 'talk'.

She only shook her head at him and tried to walk out, but he gripped her forearm before she could do anything of that sort and gave her a look. "We don't have to talk about anything that's not about being heads."

He lets go of her to raise his arms up in frustration. "That's exactly why we need to talk! This tension between us is getting fucking annoying and it needs to stop!" She just stared at him. "We need to stop being awkward around each other, Rosamund. It's affecting... well, everything. We're partners, we need to act like one."

She spoke before she could think about her words. "Just because we slept together doesn't mean we're friends, Potter," she spits out his name like venom, akin to the way she usually addresses Cormac; not friendly at all.

James looked angry for a fraction of a second before grabbing the back of her neck and pressing his lips harshly against hers.

It took her everything, _everything_ , not to respond. The kiss was all too familiar; the same burning sensation, the same taste, the same shivers. But the truth slapped Milla right on the face just as hard.

This wasn't supposed to be happening.

James had Lily.

With the memory of the fiery-headed, polite girl, she pushed him away despite every muscle in her body protesting. Lily was far too kind to deserve this.

On instinct, her right arm raised and her palm met his cheek in a sharp slap. "Don't ever," she breathed out. "Do that again."

He looked bewildered and confused at his own actions, but Milla stood her ground and ran a hand through her hair. "You might want to rethink all this love you claim to feel for your girlfriend, Potter," she tried to sound nonchalant but the taste of him lingered in her mouth. "Love won't make you do things like that."

With one last look, she left him standing at the hallway like an idiot while she tried to calm her racing heart.

 _Forget about him_ , she tells herself. _Please forget about him._


	18. Chapter 18

Milla had been fidgeting since the previous night's accident from detention. Her stomach won't accept any food or beverage, her eyes were slightly swollen red from lack of sleep, lips chapped from the cold, and hair a nest. In other words, Milla Rosamund was a mess. A guilty mess.

She just kissed someone else's boyfriend last night. Granted, she pushed him away and didn't respond, but to her, a kiss is still a kiss.

It's funny how just a mere touch of their lips feels more sinful than everything they did before.

Dragging her feet while she walked, Milla felt like a zombie. People were staring at her like one, anyway. Perhaps they weren't used to seeing the head girl so disheveled. After all, she was the girl whose boyfriend broke up with over summer and had no friends but still managed to raise her chin up and strut like nothing mattered. If only.

She lets out a quiet shriek when hands touched her shoulders intending to surprise her. "Lily," she almost ran at the sight of the redhead but she composed herself just in time. "W-what's up?"

The girl smiled kindly at her and walked in pace with her, but Milla could tell she had concern written all over her face despite her lips being curled up. "Milla, I'm sorry but you look dead,"

She snorted despite her nerves, ruffling her hair consciously but not saying anything. Lily frowned at the head girl and lays a hand on her shoulder.

"Is there something wrong?" she asks. "I know you're usually alone but I feel like something's going on with you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, alright?"

Milla's knees weakened only slightly. She could feel the tears burning in her eyes so she looked down to hide them and bit her lip to keep from trembling. She just wanted to skip the day and cry every emotion out. Lily truly was kind, and she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve Lily Evans. "Thanks," she whispers, quietly so the redhead wouldn't hear the break in her voice.

"You're welcome anytime, Milla. Any friend of James is a friend of mine,"

Right. She almost forgot. For a while there had been rumors going around about James and Milla, and a few people saw them kiss too. She guesses everyone settled with the term 'friends' for the both of them.

The two girls parted ways and finally in a deserted hallway, Milla lets a few tears fall down her face.

-

James had been unusually quiet all day. The Marauders had been hanging out in the Quidditch stands after classes, and all of them were engaging in random conversations except the bespectacled boy.

He made a mistake.

His lips burned at the thought and his chest felt heavy. He was feeling all sorts of guilt, regret, confusion, and frustration all at the same time. For once in his life, he couldn't find it in himself to confide with his best friends in fear of judgement or having actual proof that he did what he did.

He made a mistake, but the worst thing was it hadn't felt like one.

Sirius had been watching him with a careful eye throughout the day, maintaining his jokes and goofy comments while trying to figure out what's wrong. He noticed that James had been maturing this term, but mature is very different from miserable. It was a far cry from how he expected the hazel-eyed boy to act after finally having Evans as his girlfriend.

There was only one person left who could cause such damage to his best friend. Sirius knew James; they were practically brothers at this point, and it didn't take much long for him to make a conclusion.

Seeing an opportunity while Remus was busy reading and Peter was doing his own thing, he got up and sat with a small thump next to the head boy. "So, did you sleep with Rosamund or is it something else?"

"What?" James exclaimed, wide-eyed. "No! What the bloody hell, Padfoot?"

He shrugged and chuckled nonchalantly and put an arm around his best friend. "Prongs, mate, don't even waste a second trying to pretend or deny that I don't know you because I do. Now tell me,"

James' face crumpled and tears brimmed his eyes but he was swift to wipe them away with the sleeves of his robe. "I kind of fucked up, Sirius." he sniffed and rubbed the tip of his nose. "I kissed her. I know I'm supposed to regret it but I don't,"

"Do you like Milla?" he asked the million dollar question. His questioned hanged in the air for quite a while, both of them just absorbing the reality of things. It was at this moment that Sirius knew they were growing up.

Sure, Remus still likes chocolate more than anything and Peter still loves sneaking food into classrooms and the library, and Sirius still flirts a lot and James was still a prank mastermind, but a whole other things have become them, too. There is a war brooding, and there are serious problems regarding feelings and love and all that shit that never really mattered to them before. They were growing up, and hell if it's not stressful and every bit as tiring as the adults make it seem to be. Lost in thought, Sirius repeated his question. "Do you like her, Prongs?"

James looked straight ahead. "I love Lily,"

Sirius snorted. "Not the answer I was looking for." He then sighed and looked at his friend. "James, it's alright to love them both at the same time. Not every love is the same. I know I talk a lot of shit and I'm never serious— well,"

The head boy glared at his friend's impending pun to cut him off. Sirius chuckled and shook his head. "My point is, don't beat yourself up over it. You like Milla, fine. You love Lily, doubtful, but sure if you say so. It's okay, Prongs. Take all the time you need to figure it out."

"You're shit at giving advice, Padfoot," James claims, jokingly nudging the long-haired boy. "But thanks anyway. You get an A for effort."

The boy donned a cheshire cat grin and wiggled his eyebrows. "The chicks dig it, the advice thing."

"You're such a git, Sirius," Remus, who had been listening in on their conversation, butted in, throwing a small pebble at the taller boy.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "And you, a classic eavesdropper." The scarred boy made a face but said nothing, putting focus once more to the book he's reading.

James looked at his friends, and for a while he knew he could forget about his problems as long as he's with them. For a while, because just like what Sirius had said, he has things to figure out.


	19. Chapter 19

Sunlight filters through the gap between the personalized blinds that Mrs. Lupin gave James as congratulations gift in summer when they found out about him being Head Boy, the Gryffindor colors glowing in his dimmed room. His whole body was cocooned in his wool blanket, and sleep was leaving his system but he refused to open his eyes. It wasn't the sun that woke him up, anyways. It was another flared, fiery red. A redhead, in fact.

Slowly he welcomed the brightness with his adjusting eyes, but his view was blocked by the pretty face of Lily Evans.

"Good morning, love," she grinned, wide awake, bright and freckled just like how he knew to love her before. She was every bit as gorgeous, smart and beautiful as James hoped she would be. And that made the situation worse.

He hummed involuntarily when the redhead pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, rubbing their noses together after. "How did you get—"

"Milla let me in," she answered before he even finished asking. He suddenly sat up straight, bumping their foreheads together in the process. "Ow!"

He apologized and scolded himself mentally, rubbing her forehead with his thumb carefully and biting his lip. He stopped when she started laughing. "What?"

"You're adorable," she patronized before sighing and taking his hand in hers. "James, I know we've only been going out for a few weeks, but I... I honestly think that I already love you."

He caught his breath. This was it; the moment he's been waiting for, the words he's always wanted to hear from Lily's lips since second year. This moment should be the last straw, the last factor to make all his confusions and doubts go away. This moment should be the best in his life, the one to make him forget all about the other girl just outside his door.

But her words only made him feel more conflicted and guilty.

"I feel like an idiot, really," she continued, chuckling. "I've let you pass me by all these years, not knowing that you'd be the person who will make me feel all the things I never knew I could. I'm sorry for making you wait this long, James. I love you."

He gripped her hands back, afraid to say anything, so he just did what he knew to do best. He kissed her. And if he closed his eyes that second, he was pretty sure he could imagine the locks of hair he threaded his fingers in were dirty blonde instead of red.

-

Milla stood frozen, feeling like a creep in all honesty. She gazed through the crack of the door, and she cursed herself silently for noticing it was ajar. Why was she doing this to herself?

"I love you," she heard Lily whisper, and she let a bitter smile form on her lips. When had she started liking Potter, anyway? He had always been a partner, a colleague, a good fuck. But now he's so much more.

When did James start becoming so much more? When she lost him?

Sighing, she retreated back to her room with no plans of going out and face everyone the whole day. She deserved space from all the loneliness she's been feeling lately, at least.

She missed not being alone.

If she thinks about it, everything started going south the minute her brother graduated and Cormac left her for popularity. And then it was flashes of hot nights and even hotter days with James, fleeting laughter with his friends, and for a minute she allowed herself to think that she was finally done being alone, but then that ended way too soon and way too fast. And now she was alone again.

Fighting back tears, Milla grabbed a piece of parchment and her quill, sat on her dresser and wrote to the one person who she knew would never leave. Her brother.

_Dear Maxwell,_

_How's work doing for you? Did you finally save up enough to rent your own flat in London? If no, tell mum and dad I said hello. I miss you guys achingly. Don't go brooding so much about still living with your parents at 19 and don't give mum such a hard time, alright? Christmas break is soon and I expect a very warm welcome home from all three of you!_

_Max, to be completely honest, I am not doing so well myself. I have been the loneliest I've ever been. I am absolutely alone in this massive castle._

_I've also caught myself in quite a compromising situation. I've been involved with a boy, and you know who he is so I won't go telling his name. It was fun, but he has a girlfriend now. I was pretty sure I didn't like him like that anyway, but now I find myself hurt whenever I see them. And Merlin, his girlfriend is a saint! I feel very bad, at the moment._

_I wish you were still here with me, Max. I long for your company terribly. I've no one to eat with and study with anymore. If you think seven years is enough for me to make friends, well you underestimated your sister's anti-social-ness!_

_Kidding aside, I can't wait to get out of Hogwarts and back home. I don't know if I'm going to survive another boy drama. Cormac is still being a dick, by the way._

_I love you, idiot. Tell me off in your next letter to get me back to my senses, won't you?_

_Write back soon._

_Your favorite (and only) sister,  
Milla_

With a quiet sniff, she pushed all feelings of homesickness away and sealed her letter. Milla stood up to open her window near her bed and stroked her owl, Juniper while handing her letter. "Take this to Max, Juniper. Take this home,"

She watched her owl fly away, bracing the harsh winds. Her blue eyes followed its movement until Juniper went out of sight.

Milla hoped her pet would come back, soon. She couldn't deal with someone else—even an owl— leaving her. She just couldn't.


	20. Chapter 20

Rain drizzled against the open castle grounds heavily, but the sky was void of thunder and lightning. Milla stood at the center of the brewing storm, drenched from head to toe, body shaking with harsh shivers, lips turning purple and teeth chattering. With silent movements, she slowly laid on her back against the cement floor, spreading her arms wide as if to welcome the thick drops of water.

It felt as if she was getting a massage all over her body. She would probably get sick later in the day, and she looked forward to it. Anything to avoid all her problems. Anything to avoid having to see him, see them together. Her realization that she liked James had not been amiss, but it had made her even more lonely if possible.

"Milla!"

It was James who saw her drowning in the storm. He had quidditch practice until it rained and he cut it short, making his way back to his dorm still in his gear. He was thinking of how pleasing a bath in the prefects' bathroom would be and not in the shower rooms as usual, and how the warm water would certainly soothe his aching limbs when he saw Milla lying on the ground.

His first reaction was to panic. _Was she hurt? Why was she lying on the ground in the pouring rain? What's happening?_

James ran, dropping his equipment and rushed towards the head girl. "Milla!" he shouted, dread making its way to his chest when she didn't move. He reached and and immediately went to his knees, holding her on either sides and shaking her. Milla opened her eyes in shock, almost choking from the harsh rain.

"James, what the hell?" she sputtered out, sitting up and nudging his hands away.

He glared, jaw dropping. "What do you mean, 'what the hell'? I thought you were hurt!"

"Why would I be hurt?"

He stood up and she copied his actions. "You were lying on the ground in this rain! What were you thinking?" He was shouting over the noise, squinting his eyes to see. "Do you want to end up sick?"

Milla chuckled humorlessly, wiping her face with her hands and shaking her head. "I wanted to get sick, Potter. And now look," she gestured to his wet body. "You're going to get sick as well."

James rolled his eyes and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her until they reached the closest place with roof. They ended up outside the astronomy tower where he pulled her in. Using his wand, he conjured two large blankets and handed her one. "Here," he huffs out. "Use a drying spell on yourself and we'll see how we can warm ourselves up after."

She did as told, muttering the correct enchantments and in a second, she was dry. It didn't help stop her shivering, though, so she wrapped the blanket James conjured up around her body in an attempt to feel warm.

"You shouldn't have went after me," she finally says, unable to look in his eye and hold his gaze. "That was a stupid move."

He sighed, frustrated, and leaned against the wall adjacent her. "I thought you were hurt, Milla. Stop whining."

They both shivered in silence, waiting for the rain to die down. Milla could feel her limbs shaking and she was pretty sure color was nonexistent on her lips at the moment. James was the same, wrapping his blanket and arms around himself.

"Couldn't you just conjure an umbrella? I'm not that good in transfiguration and honestly that one time I conjured a towel for you was pure luck,"

The head boy shook his head. "We're not going back out in that rain. We'll just get drenched again and sick even more," He glanced at Milla's shaking form before sighing heavily and approaching her. "Open up," he gestured to her arms. "Body heat will warm us up,"

She didn't have the energy to protest, so she just allowed him to scoot inside her blanket and wrap his arms around her, pulling her flushed into his chest. They both sighed at the warmth, breaths blowing against each other's skin. Milla closed her eyes, suddenly feeling sleepy.

"Milla?"

She hummed in reply, pressing her face into his chest further on instinct.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, tightening his arms around her. "I'm so sorry,"

She sighs and pulls away only slightly to look him in the eyes. "I'm sorry, too."

They hugged, silent for a few minutes and listening to the unforgiving and relentless rain outside before James spoke again. "Did you really mean what you said? About us not being friends?"

She rubbed his back in comfort. "We can be friends, Potter." she smiles against his shirt. "But you better stop kissing me. Friends don't actually do that, you know."

"No promises," he teased and she pinched the skin in his lower back. He yelped but didn't let go of her.

-

Lily watched her boyfriend and the head girl dash around in the rain, and her heart felt heavy at the sight. She knew James was probably just helping out his dorm mate, but she couldn't deny that Milla had a certain attractiveness to her that made boys weak in the knees. She remembered all those times in their early years in Hogwarts when the blonde's brother, Maxwell, would scare off almost half the male population in the castle for wanting to go out with the girl, but she paid no mind. Milla had always disliked attention.

She shouldn't worry. After all, it was Lily who James had pinned after since she could remember. He never even had any solid interactions with Milla until this year because they were both appointed heads. Still, she couldn't help but remember a certain look that, although fleetingly, flashed across the head girl's eyes when she opened the door for Lily that one morning a few days ago.

Lily saw a look of pain in the girl's eyes, and that was enough to make the redhead worry.


	21. Chapter 21

Halloween has passed and before anyone knew, it was already mid November. The weather was vehemently cold, complete with strong, gushing winds and a few drizzle of rain. Everyone was expecting snow to fall anytime soon, while Milla dreaded having to put on layers when going outside. It was such a hassle yet necessary extra weight to carry.

Her room was a mess. A few candy wrappers are still thrown around in her carpeted floor (yes, the ones from Hollow's Eve) and there were also clothes discarded all around. She finds herself stress-eating a lot the past few days, and she couldn't wait for Christmas to come around so that she could go home. Over the past weeks, she also discovered that it had been such a relief to resolve any tension going between her and Potter; it was one less problem to stress about.

Sure, there had been a few, delirious times when they would be caught up in the same sexual trance they had been trapped in before, but the Marauders would always interrupt before anything could happen and James would flee the scene. Otherwise, all was well. Those boys never left her side, but they honestly were welcomed company. They do insist on Milla to sit and eat with them at the Great Hall, but it was a small sacrifice she had to make for her friends. Friends. She had friends now. It was bizarre to think about and only a little nauseating.

The four mischief makers and herself were walking along the grounds when Remus opened up a topic. "What are your plans for the holidays?"

Milla had been busy playing with the frayed hem of her robe's sleeve (the one that Potter fixed, although she tried not to ponder on that particular memory or else she'll be burning red) and looked up to the scarred boy. "I'm going home, if that's what you're asking,"

"I'm spending it at Prongs'," Sirius shrugged as if it was a usual thing to happen, and Milla held back from asking questions.

_Why was Sirius spending Holidays at James'? Why is Sirius living with James according to previous conversations the boys had?_

_Are they secretly married?_

She quietly snickered from her thoughts.

Peter scratched his head. "I think we're spending it in America but I'm not so sure,"

They continued conversing mindlessly while strolling around the castle, all donned in red and gold scarves.

It was funny how before, Milla had gotten to know James' body like the back of her hand. She knew all the right places to kiss, all the right spots to caress. She knew how to please him like it's her profession. But it wasn't until they decided to genuinely become just friends that she had gotten to know the real James Potter.

He was every bit as mischievous as one would expect him to be, but also charming, witty, and a surprisingly good conversationalist. There had been moments, every once in a while, where they would spend all night talking about everything and nothing and they won't run out of words to say. The awkwardness isn't present when they're alone together, and it was these moments that show Milla how well they fit together.

And now she knows James Potter in and out, in every physical and mental sense there is. It is dangerous, her knowledge of him, because everything she learned makes her like him a little bit more.

 _Stop it_ , she scolded herself mentally. From their two feet distance, she could see James laughing with Sirius and being the goofs they are, pushing each other around. The sky was starting to display specks of violet and dark red hues, indicating that the sun has decided to start hiding itself. The dark colors illuminating the grounds were just enough to highlight James' pale features and tousled brown hair. He looked otherworldly handsome and Milla had to scold herself again. _Stop it, now._

Remus fell back in step with her and nudged her shoulders with his. "You are so obvious, Rosamund," Milla glared at him and scoffed but did not respond. "Didn't I tell you something about your connection with him or have you completely forgotten how correct I've been?"

"If you say 'I told you so' I am going to hex you," she warned but he only laughed at her and patted her back.

Suddenly, from far away, they all heard James' name being called. Milla looked at the owner of the voice and saw red, literally. Lily's hair was down and flowing in the direction of the heavy winds as opposed to Milla's blonde locks being tucked messily into a beanie. She waved frantically and called again for her boyfriend, beckoning him over. James bid his friends farewell and started walking towards the redhead, and that's when she looked away.

Remus shifted his knowing eyes between his departing friend and the girl beside him who suddenly became interested in playing at the hem of her robes again and pursed his lips. Turning to Milla, he smiled in sympathy. "I told you so,"


	22. Chapter 22

The following weeks played out as follows:

Monday morning saw Sirius getting caught in the Gryffindor girls' dormitories going through their underwear drawers, resulting in chaotic teenage screaming, nipple slips through skimpy nightgowns, and a month's worth of detention. It was a stupid dare James made him do, but still the sights he saw made it worth it.

Thursday the next week, Peter and two other fifth years were cleaning the all-too-messy, all-too-busy kitchens with house elves scolding everywhere because Finch walked in on them munching food made for a feast at a quarter past two in the morning during his "necessary" rounds inside the kitchen itself.

And finally, Wednesday evening (last night, in fact), Milla witnessed what she guesses was probably equally illegal as it is mind gobbling.

"You had horns," she sputtered out the next day as she stood over James' battered body in the Hospital Wing. Shaking her head with her mouth still open, she repeated her words. "You had _horns_ ,"

He shushed her and rolled his eyes. "They're called prongs and they are very handy, thank you very much,"

His nickname all of a sudden made sense to Milla. "A-and Sirius is..." she stuttered. "A dog,"

Sirius protested somewhere in a bed far right of her, but she proceeded to ignore his whining. "And Remus is a were..."

"You can stop now," James widened his eyes at her but she frowned at him.

"And Peter, where is Peter?" she asks, running a hand through her hair. "You lads have some major explaining to do later and I will personally see to it that I get the answers I'm looking for the minute you walk out of this infirmary, do you understand?" When no one responded, she repeated herself only much more sternly. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," they mumbled in unison, unable to meet her eyes.

The sight she witnessed the night before haunted her. At first, she was planning to take a much-deserved bath in the Prefects' bathroom but then she heard James screaming Sirius' name, his voice echoing in the otherwise silent hallways. Thinking the boys were in huge trouble as she had never heard such fear in the head boy's voice before, she decided to look for them.

His loud footsteps led her outside, the bright full moon taunting and glimmering against the pitch dark land. Milla watched as the two Marauders came to a halt near the edge of the forbidden forest, and in combined shock and amazement when their bodies began to morph and the strong sense of magic filled the air. Within a couple seconds, James has transformed into a huge stag and Sirius, a black dog. Peter was nowhere to be seen.

She was about to call them out, ready to demand an explanation when another figure made itself visible from the tall trees.

It was Remus Lupin, but not quite.

He was howling in pain, and dark tones start to stretch against the pale color of his skin. He scratched at his chest and screamed, fingernails turning into lethal claws and digging into his flesh. Suddenly the sounds coming from his mouth turned more animalistic, more... monstrous.

Milla almost had a heart attack at her realization.

Remus, the ever-studious, ever-the-gentleman Remus, was a werewolf.

The first thought that came to mind was _poor Rem_ , because he didn't deserve to be cursed in anyway. He was one of the most likable and smart people Milla knew, and to have to endure such pain every full moon was a catastrophe.

Her wide eyes locked with the stag's brown, round ones, and it took a few steps toward her as a person would. _That's James._ She felt faint at the thought.

It was only when Remus growled in her direction that she ran the hell away from there, forcing herself not to look back to relive her eyes of such horrors.

When she woke up the next morning, she had a few minutes to ponder whether the night prior had been a very wild dream or if it was indeed reality. She couldn't help but think about how much of a relief it would be if it turned out to be the former, although it was admittedly wishful thinking.

It took a few questions with students who had the same classes to pinpoint just exactly where the Marauders where at, and when Milla found out they were in the infirmary, it wasn't a whole lot of surprise.

"Milla—" James tried to call her name when she began to walk away after demanding answers from all of them, but she whipped back and cut him off.

"Talk to me when you're no longer wincing with every move, _then_ you can explain."


	23. Chapter 23

As much as Milla would like to applaud herself for not freaking out every time she sees the Marauders, that wouldn't really be particularly true. She freezes like a deer caught in headlights whenever she catches sight of them or even merely hear their voices. It's ironic how a few days ago, she demands the boys to explain to her what the bloody hell was going on but here she is, running away from them.

Out of all the four of them, it was surprisingly Sirius who seems persistent for her company the most.

He caught her with her guards down one lonely evening in the library, eating a turkey sandwich all by her lonesome self (in secret, of course) just like the old times. She almost jumped in her seat when he plopped down on the chair next to her and gave her one hard look enough to make her stay. He sighs deeply and opens his mouth but doesn't say anything for a while. It's as if what he's about to tell her physically pains him. She nodded to urge him on.

Frowning, he spoke up. "Remus was bitten by a werewolf when he was just a boy, Milla, just turned 5 if I remember correctly." He shakes his head, remembering the pain and self-disgust on his best friend's face when they were in second year and they had confronted him with the truth. "James and I would wonder why he would disappear once a month, and it didn't take long for us to figure it out."

Milla put a hand against her mouth, pity spreading in her bones for the scarred boy. It was so easy to fear and to loathe werewolves or any other dark creatures, but few people think that what's underneath their layers of monstrosity is a person, just like any of them; a person who deserved everything and gets nothing.

"Milla, you have to understand. Remus hates this side of himself. He absolutely hates it. The amount of self-disgust and shame we have to drive out of his system is astounding. You cannot act differently around him, I'm _begging_ you," if there were tears pooling in Sirius Black's eyes, she wouldn't know. Her vision was too blurry as well to see clearly. "James, Peter and I decided that being animagi would help Moony during his transformations. We didn't care if what we're doing was illegal, all we cared about was him."

Sniffing, he ruffled his hair. "He is still the same witty, smart, sometimes uptight but ever kind Remus. I hope you won't let this knowledge blind you, and that you learn to accept him for what he is,"

Milla wipes away her tears and grabs Sirius by his shaking hand. "You didn't have to tell me that in the first place, Black. I already treat him like a brother anyway,"

He grins, the familiar light returning in his eyes. "Thanks, Rosamund."

It was in that moment that Milla truly understand the nature of the Marauders' relationship with each other. They weren't simply friends; they were family in every sense of the word if not by blood. The amount of sincerity, concern, and love she felt coming from Sirius towards Remus that night was enough proof of that.

And when Sirius pulled her in for a much-needed hug, taking comfort in each other, she had to take a second to thank her lucky stars and whoever is up there that she gets to call those four boys her friends. 

-

It was already past ten when Milla returned to her dorm. A loud thud was heard coming from James' room, and for a moment she allowed herself to think that perhaps Lily was in there as well. Perhaps, James was busy with her. But she knew that Lily was not the type of girl to sneak around. She was far too proper for that.

 _Unlike me_. She shook herself from her bitter thoughts.

In two steps, to her surprise, she was in front of his door and was opening it. He didn't move at the sound and remained still on his bed, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. To his right near the study desk lay a book on the floor, explaining the thud she heard. She sighs and drops on her back beside him.

"Are you done avoiding me now?" he asks bitterly, barely sparing her a glance.

She gulps and clears her throat. "I wasn't avoiding you, I was simply..." she trailed off. "—thinking."

He didn't respond, but he didn't make her leave either, so she took it as a sign to continue. "Sirius and I talked about...well, everything. And I want you to know that I'm sorry, for distancing myself. I was just shocked and I didn't know how to process the information that I wasn't ready to acquire." She takes a deep breath, fiddling with her thumbs. "I also need you to know that I admire you; I admire you boys for going to such measures to help a friend. And I'm honored to call you guys that—my friends, if you still consider me one."

She waited for a beat of silence before sighing and turning her head to look at him. Even in the pale moonlight, James looked otherworldly handsome. It's a word she seems to use to describe him a lot nowadays, when she's admiring him from afar or when he's laughing at something the boys said next to her. He always looked good, with his often crooked glasses perched lowly on his nose and his rich brown curls. Milla misses the times she could freely run her hands through them, or grip his nape by her fingers in moments of sheer pleasure or adoration. She misses James Potter, but he's right next to her.

When she moved to get up with a heavy heart, James suddenly grips her wrist and pulls her back down. She makes no noise when he pulls her in close, in a spooning position and nuzzles his nose in her hair.

"Thank you, Milla," he whispers, breath blowing against her neck and making her shiver. "Thank you,"

She didn't dare let her mind wander to the redhead who wouldn't be so pleased to find her boyfriend in such a compromising position. Friends spoon, right? Friends can cuddle.

 _Keep lying to yourself_ , her subconscious yells at her when sleep comes to claim her. His soft snores could be heard, and she shifted so that she's facing him.

She watches his parted lips and how his thick brows furrow, and lets out a soft smile. "No, Potter, thank _you._ "


	24. Chapter 24

James Potter could only recall being as confused once in his life, and that was when he was nine years old and he realized that kids his age aren't quite like him. They couldn't make things float or explode; magic was impossible for them, whereas magic had been part of his life before he was even born. His parents had insisted he spend a summer in London to get to know life outside the wizarding world, and the sights fascinated him. People were so different, so... mundane compared to what he had been used to, and to simply put it, James was confused as hell. Those two months were spent with thousands of questions even his parents could not answer. It wasn't until later, at 11 and in Hogwarts, when he finally understood. That was mainly the reason why he always took Muggle Studies classes, even until now.

At the moment though, his confusion is not even in the same scale as before.

He remembers the talk he had with Sirius, when the long-haired lad told him that it was okay to love two people at the same time and that not all love is the same. He remembers the way his body unconsciously clung to Milla's a that night when he asked her to stay and they did nothing but sleep in each other's arms. He remembers Lily's hopeful eyes when she confessed that already, she's in love with him, and how his heart felt heavy with the realization that he did not feel the same. He _could not_ feel the same, not when there's a blonde-haired girl constantly in his mind and certainly not when Lily kisses him and he imagines someone else.

The problem is he could never hurt Lily Evans; not in this lifetime.

She was too sweet and kind and her love for him was so genuine sometimes he couldn't fathom it. James was at fault, of course, for leading the redhead on and making her believe he still feels for her when in truth, his heart had been taken by the head girl the minute she took color-coded notes for him when he wasn't present in class.

"I'm so fucked," he whispers to himself, lying on his back in bed in the earliest hours of the morning. Sleep had been forgotten. He stayed up all night pondering and studying his feelings and finally, he had the guts to admit to himself that he had been pining over the wrong girl.

Milla Rosamund has his heart.

No, it wasn't love. Not yet, at least. Frankly, things were too complicated and a lot has to happen before they escalate to that level. But it is something. It's something he has never felt about anyone else before, and it's driving him to the brink of insanity just thinking about her probably snoring away in the room next to his while he was stuck in his own bed, longing to hold her but not being able to do anything about it.

Because he could never hurt Lily Evans.

Yes, he _is_ fucked.

-

If there was someone who was too smart for their own good, that someone would be Lily Evans.

Too smart, too clever, too observant, too in love.

And, ultimately, too kind.

She was far from a fool. She knew that something's ought to be wrong when the boy who's been chasing after her since second year suddenly becomes uninterested whenever they're together. He made efforts, Lily has got to admit. He would fetch her for breakfast every morning and most times, hang out with her rather than his friends. But even when they're alone, James wasn't there with her.

He was somewhere else, with someone else. Well, his heart is.

They walked along the hallways together during a free period, hands clasped and swaying. Snow now fell freely against the castle grounds, and her pale lips chatter slightly at the cold. James seemed unbothered by it, or was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to mind. The holiday breaks are coming soon, and her shoulders dropped at the thought of heartbreak during Christmas.

She clears her throat to get his attention and squeezes his hand. "Are you alright? You seem to space out a lot the past few days,"

He hummed, distracted before smiling at her. "I'm alright, Lils. Just thinking of coming home, felt a little homesick, you know?"

"Are you sure?" she pressed on, looking up at him innocently. "You know you could tell me if something's wrong, right, James?"

"I know. I appreciate you for that,"

In a beat, she held her breath and braced herself. "I love you,"

They both paused, stopping mid-walk and James stared at her silently. She could see the inner battle raging in his eyes, alongside regret, confusion and even a little fondness. In her mind, Lily thanks her lucky stars it was so cold that her eyes couldn't bear to water as they dry up too fast.

"Thank you," he responded finally, making her knees tremble and suddenly she feels weak. But the prefect, ever the actress, smiled and tugged his arm to continue their stroll.

It was as if Merlin was playing games at her, testing to see when she will break and snap, testing her so-called kindness and selflessness. In front of them were the Marauders and Milla, laughing and goofing around. Lily turned to her boyfriend, seeing how the fondness in his eyes has turned into awe and utter adoration, locked none other than to the blonde beauty she had been decidedly friends with over the school year. She averts her gaze to the head girl and was not surprise to see the same expression in her face as she smiles at James first and then nods her head at her. Lily smiles back despite the blatant truth practically dancing in front of her eyes.

"James," she mumbles and he looked at her with questioning eyes. "Can we go back to your room?"

He looked confused but nodded along, letting Lily pull him to his dorm and didn't question when she locked the door after them. He sat comfortably in his unmade bed, limbs stretched out and back against the headboard. "So, what's up— woah,"

He couldn't do anything but to stare wide-eyes at the redhead who suddenly straddled him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She was blushing everywhere, but her stance told James she wasn't going away anytime soon.

"I love you," she repeated before pressing her lips tentatively against his, much more passionate and aggressive than the kisses they've shared before. James was so shocked that he could barely keep up with her pace, deciding to just let her lead him and putting his hands gently against her hips. She pulled away for a second, breathing out. "James, I _love_ you,"

James was surprised to see tears streaming down the girl's freckled face, but was even more so when she swiftly shrugged off her robes and started to unbutton her dress shirt.

"Woah woah, Lily," his hand pried hers off her shirt, gripping them in his and giving each knuckles a kiss. "What are you doing? This doesn't seem like... you,"

With his statement, she broke down crying, gripping him by the shirt and burying her sobs in his neck. Not knowing what to do, he settled for rubbing her back and hushing her.

"I'm sorry," she cries, chest heaving. James grabbed her face and wiped away her tears, concern written all over his face. "I'm sorry,"

He stroked her hair, shaking his head. "What for? And can you please tell me why you're upset? I'm slightly freaking out over here,"

"James," she whispers, sniffing. "Do you love me?"

She could practically feel him freeze underneath her, and she starts to cry again. He stammers but she shushes him. "I get it,"

He frowns, "Lily, I'm so sorry," he reaches for her hands. "I never wanted to hurt you. I still don't,"

"I know," She rolled off of him, but remained sitting in his bed. "Do you love... Milla?"

"What makes you say that?" his eyes widens, suddenly sitting up straight. "I—"

Lily rolls her eyes and scoffs. "I'm not blind, Potter. I see the way you look at each other. You... you never looked at me like that, even when you were still crushing on me."

He doesnt respond.

"Listen, James," he meets her eyes but only for a second. "If you love her, go to her."

"W-what?"

"If you love Milla," she says slowly and more clearly this time, lifting a hand to stroke his cheek. "Go to her, Potter. Get your girl,"


	25. Chapter 25

James had never ran as fast as he was doing now, past the crowded hallways and gossiping paintings, past everyone and towards her. Always towards her.

His heart had been beating loudly against his chest that he feared everyone would hear it make a sound, but nothing beats his fear of oblivion on what's to happen next. Still, his feet padded heavily against the concrete floors of Hogwarts and he ran and ran. Pushing the doors to the great hall open with a loud smash, all conversations halted to look at the panting boy almost looking ready to pass out in front of half the student body. In the Gryffindor table, his friends had stood up to look at him with concern and behind them, Milla stood.

Her dirty blonde hair had been braided quite messily and is resting on one shoulder, blue eyes searching his for any sign of danger. He realized then that his not so subtle entrance could mean a thousand different things to the people there to witness it but at the time he didn't have it in himself to care.

Remus and Sirius easily towered over Milla, their tall, lanky bodies shielding her frame away from his eyes if not for the head girl stepping aside to reveal herself. Peter's even shorter frame stood concerned as well but the boy had not let go of his fried chicken in hand. Still breathing heavily, James slowly approached them, eyes locked to Milla's bright blue ones.

"You told me it was a stupid idea," he began, voice echoing loudly against the silent hall. All were watching his every move but he was only watching the twitch of shock that settled on her features and the way her fingers fumbled with each other to ease her nerves. "And that I was even more stupid to come up with it in the first place."

She watched him carefully, trying to assess what he was trying to say and trying to keep calm. "James..." she trailed off in warning, unsure where the far from private conversation would lead.

He paused, trying to even his breaths. His heart was racing still, but all he could think about was her. And how could he have been blind all this time, pining for another girl when she was right there in front of him, when he already had her in his arms, when he had claimed her as his on many nights, and when she was everywhere he looked and everything he had ever needed?

"Milla," he almost whispered her name but she heard him. James knew she heard him because he knew her. He knew that the small breath she released from her plump lips was indication that she was holding on to every word, every sound that would come out of his mouth. "You're right in front of me but I miss you," he admitted, shrugging and chuckling like he was saying the most normal thing.

Sirius and Remus had mirrored expressions of shock and dropped jaws, not believing that their Prongs would actually be doing this.

"Am I imagining this?" Sirius asks, to which Remus replied: "If you are then we must be imagining the same thing,"

"And I don't just miss your lips or your skin or your eyes," James continued. "I miss everything. I... I miss when you would tease the fuck out of me as if we've been best friends our whole life, or how you don't take shit from anybody, even from me—Sorry for the language professor," he added after hearing McGonagall clear her throat. "And you tell me exactly what's on your mind despite being rude and blunt. You're the most honest, carefree, and beautiful person I've ever known and I had been so stupid to let you pass me by,"

She shook her head at him, silently telling him to stop but he continued walking towards her until he's right in front of her, Sirius, Remus and Peter giving way. "Potter, don't—"

"I like you, Rosamund," he confessed, hearing collective gasps from the listening crowd. "I like you a lot, more than I've ever liked anybody before. And even if I'm still not sure how to label my feelings for you, I know that feelings as strong as the ones I have should not be ignored. And I know that right now, I could kiss you in front of the whole damn school and I wouldn't give a fuck."

"Language," Professor McGonagall interrupted, adjusting her eyeglasses and peering down at her two students. James sent her an apologetic smile before turning towards the head girl again.

Taking a deep breath, he took her hand into his shaking ones and squeezed them. "I know I've been stupid and you probably felt like I dropped you as easily as I dropped Divination as an elective, but even I was blind to my own feelings. I thought that it wouldn't be possible to actually like you like that and that I couldn't ask for more than what you were willing to give. And I was stupid, because I ignored the longing I felt for you and bypassed it as hormones. But Milla," James pressed a soft kiss onto the still silent girl's knuckles. "I think I've adored you ever since you took color-coded notes for me that one time I missed classes and was in the hospital wing."

A few students laughed at his words while some were still in shock, very much like the head girl who seemed to be incapable of speech at the moment. Her lips parted but no words came out. Tears were pooling in her eyes, though, and James felt a tug in his heart at the sight. Had he said something wrong?

"James," she finally whispered, pulling her hand from his and wiping at her eyes. "Why are you saying this? W-why... Where's Lily?"

Her eyes were equally confused as it is hurt, and James didn't understand why. Slightly disheartened at her reaction, he shrugged and smiled although it didn't quite reach his eyes. Reaching up, he ran a hand down her arms. "She told me to get my girl."

Tears fell freely down Milla's face now, but something flashed in her face and changed. It's as if her eyes lit up at his words. Sniffing, her stare at him did not waver. "You do realize," she started. "That just because you spilled a speech in front of everyone, it doesn't mean everything will be okay and get back to the way it was before?"

"I know, I know," he nodded in agreement. "I know that, and I embrace that. We need to get to know each other again and this time differently. We need to start from the beginning. And I want that for us more than anything,"

She narrowed her eyes. "Just because you steal a few words from cliche movies doesn't mean you ' _get the girl_ '," she mocked his words.

" _But_ ," she added. "This is a good start."


	26. Chapter 26

The weeks flew by surprisingly fast considering the amount of school work and tests in preparation for the upcoming NEWTs and OWLs in a few months time. Usually, Milla welcomed the fast-paced days with open arms. Busy, fleeting hours meant it was closer to the Holidays and she was more than looking forward to coming home. But, it also meant not having enough time to think over and to talk to James about his confession in front of the whole school and her interactions with him are also minimized.

It could be a good thing for them; have some space so that they wouldn't jump into something they weren't ready for impulsively. It had, after all, only been a few days since James broke up with Lily. It could also potentially become a bad thing for them; it was no secret that more than a few girls pine over the head boy (and his friends) and not being seen together or even talking in public could send a wrong message to the wrong girls. Milla already heard a few fifth years gushing about James' recent 'availability' and as much as she liked to play twisted games with him (e.g a lot of teasing), jealousy really doesn't look good on Milla.

"I feel like I've hardly seen you since the big confession in the great hall," Remus, seemingly coming out of nowhere, fell in step with her one afternoon on her walk around the castle grounds.

Sirius appeared on her other side. "Yeah," he agreed, flipping his hair behind his shoulder. It would have looked hilarious if it didn't appear so casual and effortless. "Have you been avoiding us?"

"Or," the scarred boy provided. "Have you been avoiding a certain brown-eyed, bespectacled, curly-haired, quidditch enthusiast who has a penchant for declaring his love to you in front of the entirety of Hogwarts?"

Milla shoots the both of then dirty looks before huffing. "I wasn't avoiding anyone. I've just been pretty busy with a lot of stuff as of late."

"Too busy for me?" James' voice came from behind them, causing his two friends to smirk and Milla to whip her head back to look at him. "Way to make me feel unimportant, Rosamund."

He stood with one hand buried in his pocket while the other rested on Peter's shorter shoulder beside him, an eyebrow raised and a matching mischievous grin on his lips.

Milla narrowed her eyes at the head boy before smiling faux sweetly. "In fact, yes. I'm too busy for you, Potter." The boys let out teasing 'ooh's' while James rolled his eyes and approached the smug blonde.

"Too busy for a five-minute chat with James?" he asked pleadingly, referring to himself in third person and dropping the tough act. "Please?"

She sighed heavily in defeat and nodded her head, letting him lead the way. They both tried to ignore Sirius' inappropriate comments as they left the boys and proceeded inside the castle. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere private, that's for sure,"

It took a while before James could find an empty classroom, leading Milla in by placing a hand on her lower back before locking the door.

"Have you brought me here to have your wicked way with me?" Milla teased, propping herself up on the teacher's desk and swaying her legs. "Because I'm pretty good at hexes, just warning you."

James rolled his eyes but didn't say a word. Instead, he approached her until her feet were nearly touching his knee.

"Your five minutes are ticking," she commented, looking pointedly at the wall clock near the door.

He sighed. "I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to avoid me just because I like you."

"James, I told you, I wasn't avoiding—"

He cut her off. "And that I'm not going to stop."

"What?"

Suddenly, James smiled and his whole face lit up. "I'm not going to stop liking you, Rosamund. So deal with it," he swiftly placed a kiss on her forehead, making Milla close her eyes briefly. When she opened them, he was nowhere in sight.


	27. Chapter 27

It wasn't until a week later that Milla noticed the semi-gradual change.

She had just finished getting ready, robe and tie in place, and was about to leave and head to the Great Hall. When she passed their mini common room, though, she saw something quite peculiar.

Not only was James awake before her, but he was also reading a textbook in Potions, back against the couch and feet propped up on the small coffee table in front of him. When he heard her emerge from her room, he glanced up and smiled, and then proceeded to pack his things up neatly. Milla stood watching him in awe.

"You heading to breakfast?" he inquired, stacking his book amongst the others on the table before stretching and standing up. Milla merely nodded in reply. "Cool, I'll come with,"

This happened everyday for the past week.

James would be on the couch each morning. He could be reading another book, or doing homework, or writing an essay, but he was always there. And, once Milla comes out from her room, he'll always finish up whatever it is he's doing and walk with her to the Great Hall.

She chose not to question him.

Of course, they had every class together, so it was a given to walk to class together. But James would start carrying Milla's things for her. At first, it was just a few books. And then it became all her books, and her purse, and sometimes when she brings one, her bag until she's completely empty-handed while James would struggle with his things and hers.

She figured he just decided on being a gentleman, however late it is into the year. Good changes are always welcome.

It was on Friday afternoon that she drew the line.

It had been weird enough that James offered to study in the library with her, but she let it slide. He got every book from the shelf for her, even the ones she was perfectly capable of reaching. And when they found a table, he pulled her chair up for her before taking his own seat. When her quill ran out of ink, he stood abruptly and offered to get her a new one from her office in their dorm— which was on the other side of the building. That's when she narrowed her eyes at him and told him to sit down.

"What did you do?" She questioned, not beating around the bush any longer.

His eyes widened, confused. "What do you mean 'what did I do'?"

"C'mon, James," she chuckled, rolling her eyes. "You've been kissing my ass and sucking up to me since Monday morning. You must've done something."

_"Kissing your ass?"_

"Not literally!" Milla hissed, slapping his hand that was in her reach. "So, what did you do?"

He shook his head, smiling amusedly. "Nothing, Rosamund. Stop being paranoid. Now, do you want me to get you a refill for your ink or not?"

She didn't answer, only gaping at the curly-haired boy. He rolled his eyes and proceeded to read. _What the...?_

After the library, Milla sought out the only people she knew to have an inkling of what's going on. So, she waited—rather impatiently— by the hallway she knew they always pass through and let her mind wander.

Milla had only ever had one serious boyfriend—Cormac. Before him, there had been a few students from other houses who had asked her out, but Maxwell, her brother, made sure to scare them off. Only a number of guys have been brave enough to actually take her out, whether it be a for a casual cup of butterbeer in The Three Broomsticks or a stroll through Hogsmeade on weekends. But ultimately, Cormac had been the only one she was actually interested in. It helped that he was already part of Maxwell and Milla's group of friends, so he didn't really have to deal with the overprotective brother act.

After that failed relationship, James had been the first one Milla had actually given the time of day to. It wasn't just about sex with him, although that had been more than great too. It was their daily teasings and banters and even the simplest longing glances during prefect meetings. Milla felt stupid to actually think that she didn't like him in the first place. Since the beginning, their attraction had been different. It wasn't just James' looks or skills that hooked her in. It was everything about the bespectacled boy.

The sight of two out of four Marauders snapped her out of her thoughts, making her stand straight and tucked an astray hair behind her ears. "Sirius!"

The long-haired boy, who almost passed by without noticing her, whipped around with furrowed eyebrows but relaxed at the sight of Milla, Peter in tow. The two approached her with light smiles.

"Rosamund," he nodded in acknowledgment. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

Milla opened her mouth to answer but Sirius cut her off by raising a finger. "Ah, ah wait. Let me guess. Prongs acting weird, right?"

"How the bloody hell did you know?"

Peter and Sirius looked at each other before bursting into loud laughter, the latter even making a show of crouching down and clutching his stomach. "I can't believe it actually worked!"

"Yeah, Prongs is a genius!" the shorter boy agreed, wiping at nonexistent tears in his eyes.

Sirius calmed down but a few chuckles are still escaping his lips. "God, this is gold—"

"What the hell is happening?!" Milla growled, the annoyance in her tone enough to set the two boys straight. Sirius cleared his throat while Peter sputtered some excuse she didn't bother to listen to and made his escape.

The ladies' man whistled. "So, that's that. I actually have detention with McGonagall, so..." he trailed off.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere, Black." Milla proceeded to grab him by his shirt and dragged the boy until they reached an empty bench. She pushed him to sit and remained standing in front of him with arms crossed in front of her chest and an eyebrow raised.

"Damn, you're rough!" He huffed out, wincing as he straightened his shirt and tie. "Could've just asked,"

Milla rolled her eyes at Sirius' need for dramatics before plopping down beside him with a frustrated sigh. "Tell me now."

"I've got nothing, Milla."

She stared daggers at him, making him squirm until he relented.

"Fine!" he groaned. "But don't tell Prongs I was the one who told you, alright?"

Milla nodded at him to continue. "I promise,"

"Well, the lads and I were out practicing in the field, you know? With the quidditch game against Slytherin coming up and all," Sirius started, scratching the back of his head. Of all people, they all expected Peter to be the one spilling. Now there he sat, intimidated by a mere gaze. He internally groaned again. _Prongs is going to hex me_. "So James wasn't really feeling the game because he said that you'd been ignoring him and all and he kept whining. So Rem and I told him something along the lines of 'just bloody do something', you know?"

Milla huffed. "Get to the point!"

"Alright, alright!" he rolled his eyes but gave in anyways. "Suddenly Prongs started going on about an idea and he got all excited and stuff. He said that he knew you weren't the type of girl who would want a guy to blatantly... uh, seek you out, you know? So he said he'll just subtly get things going. Be a gentleman, do anything you want sort of thing."

"What?"

"We told him his idea was nutters!" Sirius argued defensively, raising his hands up in defense. "But it actually worked. You actually sought me out just to ask me what's going on and so it worked because it's either A) bothering you or B), you care."

Slowly, a smile worked its way up on Milla's lips. "It could be C)," she supplied. At Sirius' questioning look, she continued. "I'm incredibly touched—and equally weirded out by his behavior, by the way—that he noticed that I wouldn't want the attention. I already got enough by him declaring everything in the Great Hall the last time. I don't need any more grand schemes."

"Exactly what he told us," Sirius grinned and shook his head.

Milla stood up to leave before turning back to the boy she had come to be friends with. "You can tell your friend to stop fussing and going out of his way. I already like him the way he is."

Sirius nodded along before the girl's words sinked in.

"Did you just...." he trailed off, mouth dropping open as he gaped at the head girl.

Milla merely grinned at him before walking away.


	28. Chapter 28

The holiday festivities proved to be the sole mode of entertainment for the last remaining weeks. Christmas lights lined every corner, decorations such as mistletoe and various variations of Christmas trees were spread all over Hogwarts. It was most beautiful at night, though, when the sparkling castle shows its stark contrast against the cold darkness of the night.

Before Milla knew, she was already packing up the few things she was going to bring home for the winter break on Sunday. In two weeks, she will come back to Hogwarts embracing the new year. She could only hope that 1978 would be kinder to her. She didn't need a repeat of the past year's drama, confusion, break-ups and what-nots. She was more than prepared to put all her focus on her NEWTs and put more dedication into being Head Girl.

She was just almost done placing the last set of clothing she was bringing into her small hand bag when a knock was heard on her door. "Come in," she called out to possibly the only person who could be waiting on the other side.

James peeked his head in first, taking a quick look around the messy but otherwise pleasant room and giving her a sheepish smile before stepping inside. In one hand, he held a large paper bag with a red ribbon tying in shut. "I'm not interrupting you, am I?"

"No," she told him, standing straight up. "I'm pretty much done with packing, so your timing's great so far."

Grinning, he let himself take a few steps, approaching her. He cleared his throat and pushed his eyeglasses up his nose. "I, uh, I wanted to give you my present. Well, I actually got you a few things but I just threw them all inside this bag," he explained, raising the bag for her to see.

"Oh," Milla's eyes widened and she could almost feel blood rush to her face but she managed to keep her reaction at bay. "You didn't have to..."

James rolled his eyes. "Yes I did. We're friends, right? Besides, I knew we would most likely be busy tomorrow and even if we share a compartment in the train, I wanted to have some privacy, you know? Or else Sirius would be all up in our business."

"I don't doubt that," she giggled before hurrying to one corner of her room and pulled out a thin square item, carefully wrapped in red paper with a shiny, gold ribbon, showing the Gryffindor colors proudly. "I actually got you something as well. And the other lads, of course. So..."

Milla had to mail with her brother a few times to acquire her gift for James. At first, he was reluctant to help, his brotherly instincts kicking in when he realized that his baby sister would go through such trouble getting a gift for a boy instead of just purchasing something from Hogsmeade. But one howler from Milla was all it took for the older Rosamund to comply.

James cleared his throat yet again. "Here," he handed her the bag, the blonde girl finding it surprisingly heavy.

When she moved to set the present aside, James gasped and pouted. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, setting it aside for later?"

His pout became longer if possible. "But you have to open it now! I have to know if you liked them!"

"James, it's not actually Christmas yet, you know?" Milla almost smiled at the childishness one of the so-called Hogwarts Heartthrob was showing to her.

The bespectacled boy huffed. "But we won't be together for Christmas, will we?"

Milla rolled her eyes but did as told, sitting on the edge of her bed and carefully untying the neat ribbon. She was about to pull out one of the many things inside when he spoke.

"Milla," he almost whispered, but in the silence of the room she heard him. She looked up and hummed, trying to maintain his gaze but found that his intense brown eyes were too much for her.

She looked at his nose then, but the inevitable happened and soon she found herself looking at his plump lips. It was as if the universe was against her, making his lips look more delectable and pinker and just all around more desirable than before.

It was as if her mind was in a different place, recalling all the things he said to her over the past few weeks—hell, the past few months even.

_"I love Lily, but I'm also in love with what we're doing. And if I even think about stoping, it's like it would physically hurt me."_

_"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,"_

_"You told me it was a stupid idea,"_

_"You're right in front of me but I miss you,"_

_"I think I've adored you ever since you took color-coded notes for me that one time I missed classes and was in the hospital wing."_

_"She told me to get my girl."_

_"I'm not going to stop liking you, Rosamund. So deal with it,"_

"Do you mean it?" Milla broke the silence, suddenly finding interest in twiddling with her thumbs instead of looking at him.

"What?"

"Did you mean it when you said you liked me?" she asked. Milla had never felt that vulnerable before; not even when she first gave herself to Cormac. Back then it had been nerves and insecurities and shyness. She was baring her body to another person, and at the moment it was such a monumental thing for a sixteen-year-old girl like her. Now, at seventeen, she found herself in an even more vulnerable place. She wasn't baring just her body, she was giving James everything, if he'll let her. And whatever his answer is, even though he might not know it, would be the deciding factor.

It was no question that Milla felt something for James. She didn't see the point of torturing herself by not having him with her if he so ever feel the same way. But the doubts plaguing her mind were persistent.

James placed a hand on her chin, willing Milla to look at him. "Like," he corrected. "Present tense."

Her shoulders almost slumped in relief. "Yeah?"

"Milla," he started again, running a hand through his curly hair. "I've been more than stupid. You know that, I know that. But despite of that fact, I am capable of admitting to myself that what we had is not just all about sex. We bonded, we became friends. Sure, you're probably the sexiest and hottest girl I'll ever be with in bed. But I'm not saying that I like you over and over again to go back to bed with you,"

It seems like James Potter knew Milla Rosamund more than she knew herself.

At the very back of her mind, it was always James' reasons for liking her that bothered the girl. It had crossed her a few times that yes, maybe the head boy had just wanted to get laid again. She couldn't also deny to herself that she craved him, his touch and his kisses and his body. But if they ever plan to make things right, sex would have to be the farthest thing from their minds.

"Thank you," she says quietly, providing him with a small smile. That was all she needed to say to tell him that he said the right things.

James smiled back at her, hand going from her chin to caressing her hair before dropping down to his side again. "Can you open your present now?"

Milla rolled her eyes out of habit but proceeded to just spill the bag's contents on her bed.

"I really didn't know what to get you so I just bought a bunch of things that reminded me of you,"

She could sense that he as nervous, so Milla grabbed his hand and squeezed reassuringly. "I love everything already and I haven't gone through them yet,"

She wasn't lying. The first item to catch her attention was a Gryffindor jersey jacket. It had been the biggest item inside, and its scent was so _James_ that she picked them up first by instinct. The familiar Gryffindor lion badge and the Hogwarts logo were stitched perfectly on both sides in front. At the back, there is one name. _'Potter.'_

"I wanted you to have, like, something that will remind you of me, you know? That sounds lame now that I said that out loud. Fuck, I should just take that one back—"

She cut him off. "James, I love it."

"Really?"

She nodded and smiled. "Smells like you,"

"I charmed it so it would always smell like my perfume. Well, okay, Remus charmed it but whatever," he tried to explain.

Milla felt grateful regardless. "Thank you,"

The other items were pretty nice but not quite as significant as the jacket. James got her a few personalized quills with her initials engraved in them, chocolates and other sweets she loved, a whole box of ziplock bags that was meant to be a joke and a reference of her loner self at the start of the school term, a purse wherein she could probably fit a grown body in despite the small facade, and a bottle of fire whiskey. She raised an eyebrow at this.

"That drink started it all!" He defended. "If it wasn't for me getting drunk on fire whiskey, you'd never have taken care of my pissed arse and we never would have..." he trailed off.

Milla decided to thank him nonetheless. "You got me so many things. Now I feel bad that I only got you one present,"

"Shut up, Rosamund." He teased, nudging her arm. "I bet I'm going to love it. Now c'mon then, hand it over,"

When James tore the gift wrapper open, he didn't really know what he was expecting. But it certainly wasn't a portrait of four guys crossing a street. "What...?"

"Come," Milla prompted, leading him to the side table near her window where the pre-loved record player she got from a thrift store was laying in place. Silently, she took her gift from James and pulled out the big, round thing inside. "This is a record."

James was still confused but he didn't say anything, waiting for Milla to explain.

"I know you're a pure-blood, and I know you probably aren't as familiarized at muggle things as you'd like to think. Judging by your reaction, I was right." she started, and James was surprised when she put the round thing in a box and music started to play. "This is called a record player, and what I gave you is a record. I wanted to share with you a few of my favorite things about muggle life, you know? And one of them is music."

James was transfixed and in awe. She actually gave him something that was a part of her life outside the wizarding world, and he didn't knew it before but the sentimental gesture made him feel all warm inside. Smiling so widely it hurt, he pulled her by the arm and down on the carpeted floor, both laying side by side as the music continued to play.

"They're a band called The Beatles. They were pretty huge a few years, maybe a decade ago. But my brother and I adored them. I like this album in particular," she explained, voice quiet as she allowed the familiar sound of music to embrace her soul.

James watched her, fascinated at how music could take her to a different place and make her look so calm and content. With a deep breath, he let his hand find hers, intertwining their fingers together. "Play me your favorite?" he requested. She stood up for a moment to fiddle with the record playing before laying back down, the sound of a guitar filling the silence.

"Happy Christmas, Potter," she whispered, closing her eyes.

He gripped her hand tighter. "Happy Christmas, Milla."

Together, they lay there, the pale light from the window hitting their faces and casting pretty shadows across the room. The music played softly in the background, and James could tell he would be spending a lot of time in Milla's room the following weeks if only to borrow her record player to listen to music some more.

Somehow the lyrics resonated within James. After what seemed like years of blindly chasing after the wrong girl in the dark, the sun finally made its way to find him and to show him the only person he really needs.

He opened his eyes to glance at Milla. They were close enough that he could see even the slightest movement or twitch in her pale face. He lets out a sigh, savoring the feeling of her being so close to him. His sun.

_Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting  
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear  
Here comes the sun  
Here comes the sun, and I say  
It's all right_


	29. Chapter 29

A throaty groan echoed throughout the room, James' bare back pressing against the tiny two-seater couch on their dorm, homework parchments scattered and long forgotten. Milla worked her way up, suckling and kissing every inch of skin she could until she reached his lips. They shared an openmouthed kiss, breathing into each other's mouth while Milla enclosed a fist around his erection.

James could almost recall the very feeling he felt whenever she places kisses on his hard length, but only slightly. The truth was his mind would be too hazy from too much sexual frustration and overbearing desire. But once Milla pays extra attention to his throbbing and swollen head, he would recognize the feeling immediately.

It's like a tingle up his spine, making his back arch every bloody time. One of his hands would automatically fist the sheets beneath him if he's in bed, and one would tangle in her blonde hair. A grunt of her name would leave his lips and his eyes would close for just a second. Just a second to savor the feeling before gaining back control. And once it's over, he would forget. James decided that because of that particular reason, Milla needed to remind him every day.

"Baby," he drawls out, voice slurry as if he's drunk; drunk on her, her taste, her sweat, her lips, just... her. "So good, every time... So..uh,"

He didn't mind that he was being vocal. Milla had constantly showed him that she loved it when he voiced out his feelings especially when in the throes of pleasure. Whenever he grunts or groans or moans louder, she would suck or tug or kiss just a little bit harder. It was a win-win.

She releases him with a pop before licking her way up. With long, hard weeks spent on abstinence, James was sure he could burst any moment. The prominent vein lining his cock looked to be popping out more than usual, his sack tight and his slit leaking more pre-cum. Sweat dripped on his forehead and chest, glistening against the dimmed light coming from the lamp on their right.

Milla positioned herself so that his member would slide right over her wet mound, head nudging her clit and making her curse out loud with her head thrown back. "Want you so bad," she managed to get out between pants, before grabbing James' hard cock in her hands and guiding him to her dripping entrance. "James!"

"James!"

"James!"

James Potter shook awake with a jolt and a stinging sensation on his left cheek. He didn't need a mirror to know that it was already turning an ugly shade of red. Looking around the small cabin, he noted Remus reading near the window in front of him with Sirius sleeping against his shoulder. Peter was also dozed off beside him, head resting on the wall and drool slipping from his open mouth. Milla, who had awakened the head boy, was sat directly in front of him and beside Sirius, smirking knowingly before lowering her hand.

He internally groaned before face-palming. "Oh fuck,"

Milla giggled, covering her mouth to hush herself, not wanting to risk waking the two sleeping boys. Instead, she gathered herself rather quickly before cocking an eyebrow at James. "Might want to get rid of your little problem there, Potter," she gestured to his private area. "We'll arrive at Kings Cross in eighteen minutes."

With a glare, James took a copy of The Daily Prophet discarded on the floor before unsubtly covering his raging erection. "Shut up,"

He moved to stand, trying to find a way out of his predicament. Blatantly ignoring Remus who glanced at him once before snorting and returning back to his book, James eyed the hallway before declaring it clear of students. Before leaving the cabin, he turned to Milla and shot her a hard look. "You know very well there's nothing 'little' with my so-called problem, Rosamund."

He shut the door with a smug grin on his face. He may not be satiated physically, but the blush on Milla's face and the way her jaw dropped at his words were pretty satisfying too.

-

The Rosamund family home was anything but magical. During the holidays, Marion and Alan Rosamund would pick a tree before making Maxwell help their father carry it inside and move it around wherever the girls see fit. There's no magic to be involved. As far as their family was concerned, in the muggle world, they were to stay muggle. It was a hassle Maxwell and Milla had to live with, especially now that they were both legal to practice magic outside of Hogwarts.

Usually, they would wait for the Rosamund siblings to be home before decorating the tree. It had been one of the traditions they have that Milla looks forward to every winter break. That year was no exception. Her parents picked her up from the train station on time, Max not leaving the parking lot and staying inside the car. Their mum allowed him to drive the family vehicle, stating that his Benz would be impractical.

They were pretty normal as far as muggle families go without magic considered. Marion was a lawyer and worked regular office hours at a firm in uptown London, while Alan works eight hours teaching literature to college students in university. All they knew about the wizarding world are the things their children had told them, and the little they had seen when buying school supplies in Diagon Alley. They don't turn a blind eye, but they also don't make their life revolve around pretending to understand their children's situation.

"Mum, you have gone tree shopping haven't you?" It was the first thing that left Milla's mouth after hugging her parents hello and bidding her friends see you later's.

The old couple shared a look before smiling at her. "Yes, Milla. We haven't gotten around to decorating it so you can make it your small project once we're home."

She lets out a squeal before hooking both arms around her parents on either side of her and demanding them to tell her about the things she missed while at school. The three chatted while making their way to the parking lot, and Milla let herself relax just a tiny bit at the feeling of being within arms reach of her family again.

Being home, especially during the holidays, brought out the child in Milla. Her blue eyes would glint excitedly, there would be a bounce to her steps and her mouth would be chattering nonstop. Perhaps this was brought about by being so far away from her family while at school and missing their voices. She makes sure to not run out of stories or topics just so she could savor the way they talk and the tones in their voices as much as she can before having to leave again.

"Your brother mentioned something about a boy," Marion quirked an eyebrow at her daughter, squeezing her arm.

Milla rolled her eyes. "Of course he did,"

"Milla,"

She could already see their car on the east wing of the parking lot, Maxwell with an arm and his head out the window blasting music. His hair had grown longer and greasier, blue eyes bright and pale, flawless skin still making Milla jealous. With a small smile, she turned back to her parents. "It's nothing, mum. Max is just being a tosser," she says a bit louder towards the end, and her brother turned to them with a huge grin on his face.

"Missed you too, sis." He got out of the car and opened his arms wide, letting Milla jump into them with a tiny screech.

Sighing contentedly, she lets the feeling of her brother's warmth and familiar pats on the back whenever they hug consume her. She missed being home. "Hogwarts has been hell without you, Max."

"Doubt it. I bet all the boys I scared off before are forming a queue." Max helped his father load Milla's bag, shutting the trunk closed before sliding into the driver seat with Alan on the passenger side and Milla and Marion at the back. "James enjoying Abbey Road?" he winked at his sister through the rear view mirror.

Milla glared at him before begrudgingly letting out a 'just fine.'

"James?" Her father asks, turning to look at her.

She groaned outwardly. "Maxwell, I am going to hex you!"

"Hey!" Their mother interrupted. "There will be no hexing happening between the two of you!"

The siblings gave each other a knowing look before rolling their eyes mockingly. "Yes, mum." They muttered in unison.

Yes. Milla definitely missed being home.


	30. Chapter 30

Sirius Black has always considered himself a decent friend. Sure, he can be a pain in the arse sometimes, but he always had his best friends' interests at heart. More than that, Sirius is one grateful piece of shit, which is why when James more than willingly offered him a home when he ran away from his family, he made it his life's task to keep the bespectacled boy safe and happy. They were brothers, in almost every sense but blood. And even though he sort of owes James his life, brothers still nag and annoy each other.

"Prongs," he sang, poking the blushing boy who sat rather dreamily at his chair by the window. In his hands, he was clutching a letter like a lifeline, a grin almost splitting his face.

He ignored Sirius, making the Casanova growl playfully and try to snatch the paper from his hands. "Oi!" James yelps, quickly folding the paper and shoving it in his pocket.

"We both know it's from Milla so might as well let me read it!"

James shook his head. "Bugger off, Padfoot! If you've got nothing better to do, just send a howler to annoy Severus or something,"

"Since when did _Snivellus_ become Severus?" he asked as if disgusted by the mere mention of the name. "C'mon! Just let me read a little!"

"No!"

Sirius stomped his feet like a kid. "Fine, but I won't show you what Rosamund got me for Christmas!"

Suddenly the head boy's brown eyes widened, almost running to Sirius and grasping the long-haired boy by the shoulders and shaking him. "She got you something?!"

"Well, duh?" he retorted, rolling his eyes. "We're her friends too, you know, Potter. In fact she gave me a bunch of things!"

James frowned. Sure, Milla had only given him one present, but it was special. It had meaning. That had to count for something, _right?_ "What things?"

"You show me yours and I'll show you mine," Sirius smirked, quirking an eyebrow.

"You're a shite best friend, Sirius."

"Ouch, Prongs! That hurt!"

In all honesty, Sirius was a tiny bit concerned for his friend. Never before has he seen James so smitten; not even with Lily. Sometimes he feels as if the boy had been under a serious spell or love potion with the way he acts whenever Milla's around or when someone mentions the blonde girl.

Fine, Sirius has never really been into serious relationships. He liked girls and the attention they give him. He's had girlfriends before, but no one who he could say he really felt something for. Everything is all about hook ups and whatnot. But that doesn't mean he cannot recognize a lovesick fool right in front of his eyes! If James Potter could physically melt at the sight of the head girl, Sirius has no doubt his friend would have turned into mush long before the two heads even hooked up.

The long-haired boy's one fear, though, was his friend getting hurt. They are brothers, after all. And he knew that James loved with all of him, whether it be his family or his friends or—even if he's not admitting it yet—Rosamund. Through layers of trickeries and mischief and pranks, James was genuinely a nice guy. He was serious about Milla, and Sirius could only hope to Merlin and all the gods that Milla is the same with him.

He glanced at James who had settled on his twin-sized bed against the wall, hands both behind his head as he gazed at the ceiling. Sighing heavily, all teasing and probing forgotten, Sirius plopped noisily beside him. "You and Rosamund... you're pretty serious about her, huh?"

"Yeah," James breathed out, pursing his lip in thought. "I guess."

Sirius snorted. "You guess? Well that's just bullshit, Prongs."

"I just... We all kind of started this all backwards haven't we?" The bespectacled boy sat up, back against the headboard. "We've known each other for years, but only recently talked to each other. And then we have sex—the _best_ sex, by the wa—"

The grey-eyed boy scrunched up his nose, cutting off his friend. "Too much information, James."

"Sorry," he muttered, blushing lightly. "Anyways, so we hook up, do this whole casual no strings attach thing, I go out with another girl, we stop hooking up, I date another girl—"

"I think I get what you mean, Prongs. Now get to the bloody point."

James rolled his eyes but continued nonetheless. "I just want to get to know her on more than just a physical level, you know?" Sirius hummed in reply. "I want to be able to know all the little things, even the most random and common ones like how she likes her tea or maybe she doesn't like tea at all! Maybe she's a coffee person, Merlin, I don't know!"

"So let me get this straight," Sirius sat up as well, furrowing his eyebrows. "You want to know if she likes coffee or not?"

The head boy groaned, throwing his head back. "No, that's not the point!" He paused, before a small smile made its way to his lips. "I want to know her, the _real_ Milla. In every sense. Because yeah, I know exactly what to do with my mouth to make her come undone in five seconds, and I know exactly where to kiss or touch to make her putty in my hands. But at the end of the day, are those things really important?"

"Uh, yes..?" Sirius trailed off, confused, but James ignored him.

"I mean, do they really matter? If I'm going to fall in love with somebody, shouldn't I love her for more than just her body and more than the sex, no matter how amazing?"

"So you're saying..."

"I'm saying," James held his breath. "I could fall in love with this girl, Padfoot. It would be so easy to fall in love with her. And I just might, Merlin, maybe I already _am_ falling. I don't know. But I know that I could. And I want to make it right."

The two friends sat speechless for a few ticking seconds, the emotion from James' words shocking them both. Finally, after what seemed like forever but was actually just a few minutes, Sirius patted his brown-eyes friend on the shoulder. "You know, James, you're already half the man that I'll ever be. And I'm incredibly proud of you."

They sat there, the two brothers, beaming softly at each other before Sirius grinned wickedly. "Now let me read the bloody letter!"


	31. Chapter 31

Going back to Hogwarts after the holidays felt eerily similar to the first day of school. Platform 9 and 3/4 was buzzing with students, reuniting as if they'd been separated for years instead of two weeks. In fact, almost everything was the same. Well, except for one thing.

"Milla!" Four boys shouted in unison, running to her with eyes lighting up like the 5-year olds they actually were. James Potter lead the race, with Sirius and Remus trailing after and Peter far behind the group. They skidded to a stop noisily in front of her, panting but with matching grins. Suddenly, Milla felt an arm wrap around her shoulder protectively.

"So which one of you is James?" Maxwell asked, appearing to be threatening. The role of an overprotective brother is undoubtedly his favorite to play. Milla rolled her eyes at the silly boys in her life. James, on the other hand, practically trembled.

Milla's brother knew the boy from Quidditch and to be honest, it wasn't hard to take notice of the boy and his infamous group of friends. Maxwell had been prefect since his fifth year up until graduation, and word always gets around about them in meetings. He didn't know the curly-haired boy well, but he did know his reputation and vaguely remembered him pining over Hogwarts' resident wise girl Lily Evans. It was weird to see him beam at Milla as if he'd been crushing on her all his life.

"Don't be stupid, Max," Milla chided, elbowing the older Rosamund and making him grunt painfully. "You know who he is, you loved watching Quidditch at school."

It was Maxwell's turn to roll his eyes. "Right, I remember having to practically drag your ass to watch the matches."

"Wait," James interrupted, eyes wide as he glanced at Milla in disbelief. "You don't like Quidditch?!"

The blonde boy snorted, ruffling his sister's hair. "This one doesn't even know how to fly a broom! I don't know how she passed her first year."

Milla perked up. "Alright I think it's time to go, Max. Goodbye, I'll see you at the end of the term! I'll miss you. Bye now!" she rushed out, trying to push her brother to the direction of their departing parents.

"Oi I'm not yet done!" Maxwell protested, before straightening his back and approaching James. The head boy tensed up when he put his hands harshly against his shoulders, playing if off by fixing James' collar. "Potter,"

The blonde girl winced at the sight. "Max..." she trailed off in warning.

Maxwell smirked at her sister, mouthing 'relax!' before his look hardened, facing James once again. The two boys almost had the same height, but the brown-eyed boy had larger biceps and broader shoulders than the blue-eyed one due to years of playing Quidditch. Despite the knowledge that James could probably take him in a fist-fight or any physical combat, he still couldn't help the nerves that ate away at him when the older boy approached.

"Now I might like watching Quidditch," the older Rosamund started, narrowing his bright ocean eyes. "But kick-boxing? Now that's my real sport. And I am bloody _good_ at it. Just something to keep in mind when you decide to hurt my sister in the long run."

James swallowed. "Noted," he croaked out before clearing his throat. "I mean, yes, of course. I get it."

"Good," Maxwell grinned sarcastically, patting him hardly on his shoulders before backing away. "Alright lads, great speaking with you. Milla, you take care of yourself. Mum will probably write to you as soon as we go home. Love you, sis."

The two siblings engaged in a hug before Maxwell gave a final wave at them and disappeared into the crowd.

"Oh my god!" Milla suddenly exclaimed, mortified. "James, I am so sorry!"

As if practiced, Remus, Sirius, and Peter all bursted out laughing on cue obnoxiously, slapping their hands and clutching at their stomachs.

"Mate," Sirius managed to get out. "Are your balls still intact?"

The bespectacled boy blushed, looking down at his black leather shoes before mumbling out. "Shut up."

She couldn't help but smile at his embarrassed and probably mirroring Milla's mortified look, feeling blood rush to her cheeks as well. "I really am sorry,"

"S'fine."

The head girl sighed before getting her bag from the ground where her brother left it and deciding to change the subject. "Well, c'mon lads, we wouldn't want to lose an empty cabin."

"Wait, Milla!" James called out when she started walking towards the train. She turned around to face him with her eyebrows raised in question. He paused, struggling to find words. "What... what the bloody hell is kick-boxing?"

She giggled, not expecting the completely innocent question. _God, sometimes I just want to grab him by his pretty face and kiss the merlin out of him._ Shaking off her thoughts, she opted to tease the boy and smirked. "It's best you find that out on your own,"

With that, she continued to walk towards the train, not once looking back at the frozen head boy she left standing behind.


	32. Chapter 32

Milla had several things to be grateful about over the Holidays. She was grateful for all the things James had given her, the bag of candies Peter gave her that surely added on her jean size, the gothic romance novel Remus had gotten her, Sirius penning ' _From Fuck Buddies to more: A guide by Sirius Black_ ', Maxwell's ticket for two for a music festival in summer, her parents' abundance of presents ranging from clothes to records to jewelries, to name a few. Of course, how could she forget the amazing time spent with her family and the amount of Christmas movies she forced them to watch? But despite all those wonderful things, there is one negative result.

It seems like two quiet weeks were enough for James Potter's fan-girls to decide that he's available to pursue once again.

Of course, Milla knew that many girls (almost every girl, in fact) admire the head boy's looks and charm and wit and basically everything. They even have buttons with his face printed on them during Quidditch matches; a fact Sirius was more than happy to take advantage of (although they have buttons of him too). She had been subjected to a few glares and whispers herself at the beginning of the term just by sharing a dorm with James, and knew that Lily suffered the same when the two went out. Nothing compared to the aftermath of James' public confession to her, yes, but she would have gladly taken the glares and the whispers and the occasional pushes and shoves in the hallways if it would mean she wouldn't be forced to look at... _this._

When James begged her to stay in the stands while he practiced, she didn't think much of it. It was finally sinking into her that yes, he liked her the way she liked him and yes, he was willing to make an effort until she decides that she's ready to be with him officially. Besides, Remus and Peter will be hanging with her as well, so she really didn't see any down side to the idea.

At first she was actually enjoying herself. It took her a few minutes of reading a sentence from a novel she brought over and over again before she finally gave in and shut it close in favor of watching James in his natural habitat on a broom, scoring some mean points even if they were just practicing. She also did a good job ignoring Cormac who seem to always fly past where she sat really slowly. Sirius took notice and didn't shy away from pointing it out. ( _"Cormac, mate, my dead grandmother can fly faster than that!"_ )

Everything was going well until she heard them.

They started as a group of maybe four girls from Gryffindor in different years, squealing and giggling every time James and Sirius do so much as move. And then a few from other houses as well joined in, making their annoying buzz louder. Soon there were maybe eleven of them, three girls of which are in their Seventh year and shared a few classes with Milla. Those three had water bottles and towels in hand (Milla was naive to assume they had boyfriends on the team) and were more put-together than the rest.

Typically, the head girl doesn't have a problem with their antics. Truthfully she found them slightly amusing as well as pathetic, and she took joy in teasing James about them a few times. But when the players took a ten-minute break and the three seventh year girls hurried down from the stands and onto the pitch below with confident and seductive smiles, it didn't take Milla long to stop being amused.

She watched with narrowed eyes as the three separated, the other two heading to Sirius who lapped up the attention and the one in the middle—Macy Lennon from Ravenclaw, she could recall— strutting with purpose towards James. _Her_ James.

When the leggy brunette handed James the bottle of water and he smiled and accepted, Milla tried very hard to maintain an indifferent expression. It was just water. The practice was a tough workout, it was natural to rehydrate. And when Macy took it upon herself to wipe at James' forehead and down his neck and he only paused for a second before continuing to gulp down his drink, Milla's fists clenched.

"If looks could kill..." Remus sighed with a teasing smile, taking note of his blonde friend's stiff shoulders and unsubtly harsh glares.

The head girl took one look at him before growling under her breath, "Not. A. Word." She observed the scene in front of them before frowning even more. "Look at him! He obviously enjoys all the attention. God, I can't stand him! One second he's begging me to watch this stupid practice and then the next, lets some girl fawn over him like she's his girlfriend!"

Remus and Peter shared an amused glance before turning to face Milla once again.

"—and let's not forget all the lies that come out of his pretty mouth!" she continued, mocking him. " _'Oh Milla, I won't stop liking you,'_ and ' _Oh Milla, I'd face your brother's kick-boxing if it meant I could kiss you, Oh Milla_ ' you know what they are, Pete?" she turned to the shorter boy, him giving a rushed shake of his head as an answer. "Lies! They are all lie—mphhhf."

Remus covered her mouth before angling her head back down towards the field. "Shut up and look for a second, Rosamund." he reprimanded, eyes set on James and Macy still conversing in front of them. "And for Merlin's sake, have a little faith in our Prongs!"

Peter made a sound of agreement, joining the both of them to observe the two interact.

They watched as Macy tried again to wipe sweat from James' face and the head boy actually leaning away. He smiled apologetically while the girl's boney shoulders dropped. James continued to speak as if explaining something thoroughly, and Milla didn't miss the fleeting glance he took her way before he patted Macy's shoulder and straddled his broom, flying away and towards them.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked her once he reached them, hovering in front of the three. "You looked a bit upset earlier before I came up here."

Milla could feel the beginnings of a blush threatening to color her cheeks, so she hid away by looking down and letting her hair cover her face and mumbled something along the lines of 'm'fine'.

James looked confused for a second, turning to face his other two best friends who were smirking at him. "What?" he mouthed to them, scrunching his eyebrows.

"Don't mind Milla, Prongs," Remus tutted. "She was just jealous of Macy over there."

Milla snapped up, glaring openly at him. "Shut up, Rem!"

James' eyes widened at the information, but he couldn't help the grin that tugged at his lips when he cleared his throat and Milla turned to look back at him.

"Shut up," she repeated but directed it to him, doing her best to throw daggers with her eyes.

The brown-haired boy threw his arms up in mock surrender, "I didn't say anything!"

"You didn't have to."

"I am perfectly innocent in this conversation, Rosamund."

Milla rolled her eyes and proceeded to pack up her things, swiftly rushing down the stands. James followed her along in his broom before they reached the ground and he dismounted without a single stumble and followed her fast-paced steps away.

"Rosamund, are you jealous?"

She could hear the mirth in his tone, causing her to whip back and grit her teeth. "I'm not jealous! Why would I get jealous? I don't get jealous, _Potter_." She spit out his name like venom, chest heaving. The head boy only smirked at her, still finding humor in the situation.

After a beat of silence with James only looking at her knowingly and Milla catching her breath, the blonde's face softened and vulnerability took over. "Should I be jealous?"

James' eyes widened at the change of tone, immediately closing their distance within a few strides. "No," he says softly, reaching for her hands on her sides and unclenching them. "You know you don't have a reason to be jealous, Milla."

She lets out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. "I've been here before, Potter. Just a couple weeks ago I've watched you go out and kiss and hold another girl. And I never let that get the best of me because I know I had no right because you weren't mine. You belong to her." She paused to gather her thoughts. "This time it's different. You... you don't belong to anyone. Those girls, they'll take advantage of that. And I still have no right—"

"Shut up, Milla." He cuts her off, cupping her face in his hands. Her blue eyes appeared even lighter up close, shining with an insecurity that James never wants to see in them again. "You have to know that I... Rosamund, I'm already yours."

Her breath hitched. "What?"

"If you want me, Milla, I'm yours."

She shook her head and closed her eyes, leaning her forehead to rest against his. They were so close that she could feel every breath and smell his cologne mixed with sweat and his natural musky scent that she had grown to love. "James..." she trailed off, uncertain.

"What's stopping you?" He whispered in her ear, lips brushing her skin. "You don't have to pay attention to what everyone will say. I don't care if they think we're going fast or not. They don't matter. Milla, _we_ matter."

Milla chuckled under her breath, eyes tearing up with emotion. She pulled away to connect their eyes, brown meeting blue. "You say all the right things."

"I try," he teased before turning serious once again. "So, what do you say, head girl?"

Why was she waiting? Yes, it's not going to look nice to everyone if she dates James right after his break up with Lily. Yes, they're going to call her names and give her the attention she never wanted. But those things do not really matter, do they? In the end it's her life and her feelings and her happiness. Or maybe somewhere inside her, those excuses are just that—excuses. And maybe the real reason she insists on waiting is because somewhere inside her, there's still the sixteen year old girl who gave everything to her boyfriend and ended up being empty and alone. But James was not Cormac. They couldn't be further apart. And what is it they say about love and risks and trust?

 _It's time to take a risk, Milla_ , she chided herself.

She breathed out shakily, taking her hands from his hold to rest them on his broad shoulders, fingers playing with the curls at the back of his neck. "I want you, all of you. I-I'm yours, Potter, if you'll be mine."

James could feel his grin splitting his face but he didn't care. "I'm already yours," he croaked out, repeating his sentiments before bending down to finally connect their lips in a heated kiss, arms circling around her waist to pull her even closer.


	33. Chapter 33

Milla felt like she's in a bubble, oblivious to the gossips and death stares of teenage girls whenever she walks down the hallways and deaf to degrading names that boys called her. Yes, she's definitely in a bubble. But James was in there with her too.

It's two weeks of whispers in the bathrooms and gasps from ghosts and knowing looks from teachers. Two weeks since Sirius shouted 'finally!' after catching the two of them locked in a steamy kiss in the middle of school grounds. Two weeks of holding hands and stolen kisses and silent conversations. It's the best two weeks of her life, and she didn't want it to end.

"Babe," he whispers that morning, fresh breath hitting her face in a cool breeze, smelling of mint toothpaste. Milla groaned but only rolled over, turning her back on him. She felt the left side of the bed dip before strong, warm hands made their way around her frame, spooning her from behind. In a sleepy haze, she mumbles, "I really should lock the door at night. There's been this curly-haired creep bothering me in the mornings lately."

James ignored her and peppered kisses on the exposed skin of her neck and shoulders, inhaling the scent he loved so much. "It's getting late."

She let him hold her for a few minutes before responding. "You wore me out last night."

"Right," he snorted at the innuendo before nipping her shoulder gently where he knows it would tickle. She squealed, squirming away but James tightened his hold on her. "It was _not_ my fault you wanted to learn how to fly a broom at 1 am in the morning. That was all you."

She faced him then, lips pouted and bare legs resting over his own. "But I really want to be good at flying. It's something you love to do and I though we could share that."

"I love to do you mor—ouch!" James flinched, rubbing his arm where Milla slapped him sharply. "I was only kidding! And I've told you before, just because you suck at flying does not mean I'll just stop liking you."

The head girl rolled her eyes and sarcastically said, "Right, because I'm so worried about that."

He gave her a confused look, which made her grin widely before looking pointedly down to his very much awake member. "Shit!" He scrambled to get a throw pillow and covered his tent, face blushing furiously. "He likes it when we spoon," he sheepishly said, making Milla gape at his flushed state.

She shook her head, giggling. "I can't believe you refer to your dick in third person."

"Don't you say a word about this conversation to _anyone_ , I swear."

Milla hummed and sat up, cheekily putting a finger on her chin. "Hmm, I have one condition."

"Yeah?" he replied, pulling her down on top of him, her weight fully on him.

She puckered up her lips expectantly, hands resting on James' hard chest. "You have to give me my good morning kiss."

"Done," he whispers before leaning up to connect their lips, instantly moaning at the feeling of her warm lips against his cool ones.

James lets his hands wander down her exposed legs and slowly massaged his way up her thighs before landing on Milla's perky bottom. He promptly squeezed, making a soft gasp leave her lips. Her hands pushed a lone curl from his forehead until she reached the back of his neck, pushing his head even closer to hers.

Out of pure instinct, he slips one spaghetti strap of her thin nightgown down, moving his lips to her shoulder and lining her neck and the back of her throat with kisses.

"James," she breathes out, arching her back. "We should stop."

He pulls away then, tucking Milla's blonde hair away from her face, chest heaving for breath. "Should we?"

Unable to contain herself, Milla presses a chaste but hard kiss to his already swollen red lips before sitting up, fixing her nightgown in the process. "Yes, we should."

She proceeded to stand from the bed, shivering at the cool air of the room due to her lack of layers. Instantly she missed James' radiating warmth, but she forced herself away, getting her toiletry bag from her drawer instead.

James pouted expectantly at her, still lying on the unmade bed. "No sex?"

Milla rolled her eyes and scoffed. "No sex."

-

"No sex!" James complained to his laughing friends.

Remus, who recovered first, patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Prongs, you've only been together for two weeks. Maybe she wants to wait."

"We never waited before." James frowned, feeling frustrated. "I mean, it's not like I only like her for _that_ , you know? Merlin, that's the last thing I want her to think! It's just... I've gotten used to doing it with her, I guess."

The scarred prefect nodded. "Completely understandable. I mean, there had been a time that you two did it every day so..."

"Maybe she finally realized how shite you are in bed, mate."

The head boy glared at Sirius' comment but decided to ignore him.

"You know," Peter spoke up, startling the three of them. When it comes to talk about girls and relationships, the short boy usually stayed silent and only nodded along or made sounds of agreements. James could hardly remember the last time Peter had a girlfriend. "There's this saying that sometimes waiting makes the end goal so much better."

Their jaws dropped, gaping at the usually oblivious boy. Finally, Sirius wrapped an arm around his shorter friend, grinning proudly. "Wormtail, have you finally been getting some action and forgot to tell your best mates?"

Just as expected, Peter immediately blushed until the tips of his ears are all red, and he looked down to his shoes and mumbled incoherently.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, no action or whatever. I've just... been doing some reading, is all." He muttered under his breath, his face still resembling a tomato.

Sirius scrunched his nose up. "Reading what? Eroticas?"

"Padfoot!" Both Remus and James exclaimed while Peter's eyes almost popped out of its sockets, making the aforementioned boy roll his eyes.

"Whatever. At least I'm getting some. Remus here got tired of that Ravenclaw prefect long ago, Peter has no idea what he's doing and Prongs, mate, you have a girlfriend and still, no sex!"

James sighed heavily, rubbing a hand on his face tiredly. "It's not just sex, it's... connection, and passion, and feelings."

"You know what you are?" Sirius retorted, feigning disappointment as he shook his head, long hair swaying in the process. "Whipped."

The bespectacled boy frowned, "I'm not whipped. I'm just— hey!" He perked up at the sight of his girlfriend of two weeks marching up to them, looking less than amused. Her blonde hair was tied in a tight ponytail, bangs almost covering her eyes that were furrowed angrily. "What's happening?"

Milla growled and stomped into a stop in front of him, arms folded across her chest. "Better kiss me now before I turn my anger out on you, Potter. I am not in a good mood."

"Kiss away," he stuttered, pulling her into him and rubbing her back gently as he bent down to meet her lips in a gently kiss.

Sirius coughed, "Whipped," but James only glared at him briefly before putting his attention back to the fuming head girl in front of him.

"I fucking hate your fan-girls," she states, angry lips pursing. "They have nothing better to do than to get all up in our business. And talk about having you for breakfast."

He almost choked at her comment, causing his friends to burst into another fit of laughter. Sighing, James shook his head. "And the green monster comes out again."

Milla narrowed her eyes at him for a moment before abruptly pulling away, straightening out her uniform. "Fine, I'll leave."

"Woah woah woah," He secured his arms around her. "I'm kidding, babe. The green monster can come out anytime."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter all looked at each other before simultaneously saying, "Whipped."


	34. Chapter 34

Lily Evans was a smart girl, and an even brighter witch. She's on top of all her classes, she's otherworldly kind, she does most of her school works weeks in advance, she's very pretty, and although they would deny it, she was one of the most favourite students in Hogwarts. She was almost perfect. Almost. She just has this one small flaw.

"What do we have here?" A seventh year Slytherin snarled when she walked passed their group one afternoon. "The _mudblood_ thinks she could strut around like she owns the place."

She was muggle-born.

Not all witches and wizards despise her kind, don't get her wrong. Some are more than welcoming, never treating her differently and never letting her blood status stand in the way of her achievements. But there are always others, particularly from a certain house, that would make it their mission to make her feel like she doesn't belong, that she was an intruder, a slave amongst royalty.

She wished she could be like Milla or the other muggle-borns who would just shrug off their comments with an eye-roll or just downright ignore them, but she's not. Lily was against violence but she also wasn't a fan of being made fun of and bullying. She knew that fighting back could only cause more trouble, but if she won't defend herself then who will?

Still, she had to think rationally. And so with a deep breath, she continued walking as if she hadn't heard a thing.

But they weren't backing down.

The one who commented rudely grabbed a fistful of her red hair just as she started to walk away, making the prefect yelp in both shock and pain.

"Who do you think you are, turning your back on me?" The brown-haired Slytherin hissed, still having a painful grip on her locks.

Trying to fight tears of humiliation and anger, Lily struggled to free herself, grunting with effort. "Let. me. go."

"Can't handle a little cat fight, can you, Evans?" She emphasized her question with another tug of her hair. Finally having had enough, Lily found strength to dig her nails onto the girl's wrist and causing her to let go.

She walked backwards to distance herself while clutching the back of her head which stung from the hair-pulling with one hand, and quickly getting her wand out, pointing it to the girl's faces. Her other friends (minions would be a better term) all watched with horrified expressions, as if it was such a crime for a mudblood like herself to pull a wand on a pureblood. "Do not test me," she managed to growl out before hastily turning around and jogging away.

While her feet moved, her eyes finally let the tears she desperately held back to fall, grazing her cheeks and making her face flush rather unattractively. Too distracted while swallowing down her sobs, she didn't notice a figure ahead of her until she ran head first into him, recoiling with the force.

"S-sorry," she stuttered, head down before trying to side-step the boy she knocked into. But before she could go, he gripped her shoulders and pulled her in front of him.

"Lily?" Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice, and the sight of his brown eyes and crooked eyeglasses only confirmed that it was indeed James who she managed to run into. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

She tried to shake her head no but before she knew it, she collapsed into sobs and had already buried her face on his chest. James stood frozen for a few seconds before finally snapping back and patting a hand awkwardly on her back. "Hey, it's okay. Let it out. You're okay."

He maneuvered them so they wouldn't stand in the middle of the hallway and instead were at the sides, sitting on one of the benches there. James continued to rub her back, more comfortable now than earlier. He didn't say anything, just letting her cry out and offering a handkerchief to wipe her tears and snot. Finally, after what seemed like eons, her eyes ran out of tears and she stopped sobbing, save for the occasional hiccups that shook her chest.

"You okay?" He murmured, taking his hand back to clasp his hands together in front of him, resting them on his thighs.

Lily sighed, feeling pathetic. Here she was, crying her eyes out, and you would think that one of her friends would be comforting her but no, it had to be her ex boyfriend. "I'll be fine. Thank you, though."

"What happened?" he asked gently before his eyes widened. "If you don't mind me asking."

She lets out a half-hearted chuckle, shaking her head. "It's nothing. Just the usual obstacles a mudblood like myself go through on a daily basis."

James frowned. "Hey, don't you ever call yourself that again. Don't even think of that word. It's nothing. Blood means nothing, alright? You're an amazing witch and it doesn't matter if you're pureblood or half-blood or muggle-born."

"God, you're amazing," Lily can't help but say out loud, making James duck his head and scratch the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Seriously, Potter, can you try not to be perfect for a second so I could move on from you?"

"Uh, sorry...?"

The redhead opened her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by a squeal and sounds of feet padding loudly on the stone floors of the hallway.

"Sirius, stop it you bastar— hey," Milla skidded to a stop in front of them, the other three Marauders following suit, all four panting softly from the seemingly marathon run they did.

James sat straight up, panic filling his veins at the thought of his girlfriend getting the wrong image, and tried to catch her blue eyes. Lily wiped at her face to get rid of her tears and looked down.

"Awkward—ow!" Sirius teased before getting elbowed by Remus who was studying the three of them with interest.

Finally Milla looked straight at James, eyes full of questions before looking at the redhead sitting beside him. She noted Lily's tear-stained cheeks and swollen red eyes before turning back to James and mustering up a small smile.

"I'll see you later, Potter. Evans," she nodded at both of them before ushering the three boys away with her, but not before looking back to shoot another reassuring smile at James' shocked face.

"Uh..."

Lily tucked her hair behind her ears before sniffing. "I hope I won't cause problems with... you know."

"Uh don't worry," He says absentmindedly, still trying to absorb Milla's reaction. One second she would be totally jealous of his so-called fan club, and now she seems totally calm? What? "For some reason, I think everything will be fine."

The redhead nodded. "That's... good."

"Anyways," James stood up abruptly. "I should go. I still have Quidditch practice and the lot,"

"Of course!" Lily stood up as well, smiling gratefully at him. When he turned around to leave, she grabbed his arm to hold him back and sheepishly placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before whispering, "Thank you."

James fought off his surprise before mumbling out a "sure," and heading off.

-

The sun was already setting when James finished showering after practice. It was perhaps thirty minutes pass six in the evening, and his stomach was growling rather loudly for food. He was about to enter his room when he made a split decision and quietly opened Milla's door before entering.

He could see her lying on her unmade bed but she was facing the windows away from him. The little light coming from outside was the only thing illuminating the dark room, but he was familiar with the surrounding enough to get to the bed without difficulty.

Her tensed shoulders made it obvious that she was awake, and strangely she was already wearing her nightgown. Shrugging off his robe that he put on after shower, he gently laid down next to her, sneaking his arms around her waist and tangling his long legs with hers.

"Hey," he whispers against her skin before pressing a kiss to her bare shoulders. "Early night?"

She shuffled closer to him which he took as a good sign before sighing, "Yeah. I'm gonna skip dinner and try to get some sleep. My head hurts." She paused. "Do you think you can handle reports alone tonight?"

"Yeah, sure," he agreed instantly, hugging her to him tighter. "You get some rest."

She nodded as a reply before silence consumed them once more.

"Milla, listen. About earlier—"

"Shh." She hushed him before turning around and facing him, one of her arms resting on his lower back. "I understand. I heard that a few Slytherins said some mean things and that there was even some hair-pulling going on. Sounded messy. She needed you."

She looked up at him, brown to blue, before smiling gently, silently telling him that it was okay.

James sighed before leaning his head to press a gentle kiss against her mouth, letting it linger for a few seconds before pulling away. "But I don't need her. Not anymore. Not the way I need you."

This time, Milla grinned. "I know."

He smiled back, pulling her impossibly closer. "Good," he says before connecting their lips in a deep kiss once more.


	35. Chapter 35

James Potter was stressed beyond relief. His mum had sent about seven letters about how his NEWTs reviews are going (there's only a month to go), the game against Slytherin was two weeks away, and on top of everything, he was barely getting any sleep (as per bloody usual) because of his head boy duties. He misses having free time hanging out with his friends and hanging out with his girlfriend. Milla was as busy as he is, perhaps even more since she was way more serious about her studies than the curly-haired boy.

"I am ready to die," He announced, plopping on his bed and causing pieces of parchment to fall off, hovering in the air for a few seconds before reaching the ground. Milla was positioned comfortably on the carpeted floor of his room with several books opened on random pages surrounding her. "I swear I am."

His girlfriend of four and a half months only hummed in reply, too engrossed in her reading to fully pay attention to him. It was already spring time, and the patch of land surrounding the black lake and forbidden forest had started looking like a full-grown garden and made for perfect picnic dates as well as peaceful walks with friends (although peaceful was never the correct word to describe times spent with Sirius if you ask James). Chancing another look at the notes that Milla let him copy and realizing he forgot which subject he was studying for, the head boy tossed the papers aside and gripped his growing lock of curls.

"Rosamund, your boyfriend just told you he's dying and your action is to ignore him? Nice to know that you care."

Milla gave him an incredulous look before rolling her eyes, shifting to get more comfortable and picking up another book. "You said you were ready to die, not that you're dying. There's a difference."

"I can't believe you!" James gaped before pouting. He stood up on a whim and marched towards her before laying on top of her, his chest to her back, and letting all of his weight crash the blonde. "Notice me."

Groaning, Milla tried to wriggle away but remained unsuccessful. "James! Get off!"

"Not until we go out and do something besides study."

"You're such a child!" She managed to get out. "I can't bloody breathe, James. Get off!"

"No."

Sighing in defeat, Milla slumped against the floor, cheeks resting on the carpet. "Fine. Bastard."

James did a victory wiggle before supporting his weight on his arms in a push-up position, allowing Milla to twirl around so that they were facing each other.

"I hate you," she reminded, blowing a few strands of her bangs away from her face. "Seriously, you're the worst boyfriend ever."

The bespectacled boy didn't answer, but he grinned as if he won the lottery, a faint blush covering his cheeks.

"What?" Milla asks, confused at his reaction.

James only raised a brow. "What what?"

"Why the big smile?"

He grinned further if it was possible, letting the lower half of his body rest against hers. "You said 'boyfriend'."

The blonde couldn't help but giggle at his ridiculousness. "Potter, we've been dating for four months. What do you expect me to call you? Dad?"

James frowned. "That's.....equally disturbing as it is kinky."

Milla blushed, covering her mouth in embarrassment.

"But I mean, if you want to call me dadd—"

"Shut up!" she squeals, this time covering James' mouth with her two hands. "Don't you even go there, James Potter!"

He winks at her before saying, "Fshine. Kish firsht."

"Huh?"

"Kiss first," he pouted his lips when she finally uncovered his mouth, making Milla roll her eyes but lean up and give him a short peck anyway. "You call that a kiss?"

She grins before pushing her lips against his more passionately this time, tongue playfully poking his bottom lip but pulling away once he gives her entrance. "Come on, let's go."

"What?" James asked, confused when the head girl stood up and dusted off her clothes before walking to the edge of the room to put on her shoes. "Go where?"

"I thought you said you wanted to get out and do something besides studying? Let's go before I change my mind."

They walked outside hand in hand, silent for the most part. James had a love and hate relationship with spring. On one end he loved it because Milla looked absolutely breathtaking surrounded by flowers. It was like she was also a part of nature; ethereally beautiful, untouchable, carefully crafted by God. Maybe it was because her hair and eyes become lighter the more sunlight they get, or maybe it's because she _was_ part of nature in some sense; she was James' sun. On the other end, he hated bugs and they seem to pop up everywhere during spring time.

"Do you want to head to the garden?" They've been calling the place garden for a few weeks now, since it's almost like one. Towards the forest the grass grew taller and untrimmed, perhaps to ward students off, but it was still a pretty sight (although getting too close to the plants sometimes end with getting an itch if you're not careful).

"Sure," he shrugged. They passed the black lake where a few students lingered, savoring the warm sun. He could see Sirius, Remus, and Peter fooling around nearby as well, but only waved at them and gestured to Milla, a clear message that he wanted alone time with her. Remus only gave him a thumbs up along with Peter, while Sirius rolled his eyes.

Once they reached the deserted part of the garden, Milla started picking random flowers up that she found pretty. Currently she was holding about four different kinds cradled in one arm while in her right hand was a yellow flower he didn't pay enough attention in Herbology to know the name of.

"Have you decided what you want to be after Hogwarts?" She suddenly questioned, but her eyes were still preoccupied with the yellow beauty in her hands.

James shrugged his broad shoulders, both hands tucked in his side pockets. "I'm still not sure, to be honest. As I child I always wanted to be like my dad, I suppose. He made our life really comfortable with his potion-making and all, but I soon realized that's not really my style. I could try and play Quidditch professionally, that's always an option."

"You'd be a wonderful player," she reckoned with a soft smile. "You still have to teach me to fly."

"Not happening." James teased before becoming quiet for a few moments. Suddenly, he sighed. "Between the two of us... I guess I'd really like to become an auror," he confessed.

Milla looked up at him with wide eyes, stopping in her tracks. "That's...."

"Yeah," James scratched the back of his head, blushing. "I don't really talk much about it, but I've been really bothered by all that's happening with he-who-must-not-be-named. All those muggle families slaughtered, the 'blood traitors', I mean. It just makes me really angry, you know? That a person thinks he has the right to decide another person's fate because of their blood status."

"I..."

"I just..." he continued ranting. "I just want to be able to do something about it, you know? Help save as many as I can. I have a lot of muggle-born and half-blood friends who are scared out of their minds because of it and they shouldn't be undergoing something as horrible as this." An image of a crying Lily Evans popped into his mind for a moment, and his fists clenched.

And then he looked at the beautiful girl in front of him, staring at him with an unknown expression with flowers in her arms and her hair blowing with the soft wind, and James shuddered. "The thought of you getting hurt because of it..." his voice shook, and Milla gasped, dropping the flowers to the ground and approaching him in steady steps. Slowly, she grabbed his fisted hands in hers and opened them so she could intertwine their fingers.

"James..."

"I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you and I didn't do anything about it."

Moving her hands so she cupped his face, Milla forced him to look at her. "If anything—God forbid—happens, it wouldn't be anyone's fault but that _monster_. Listen to me, I know you're scared. Merlin, I'm terrified! I'm terrified that one of these days, I'd pick up the Daily Prophet and see my family's names listed down as one of the casualties. These are difficult times, and sometimes it's so easy to forget that when we're safe here inside the castle. But if we let fear rule us then we're letting him win, and we can't let that happen."

James' brown eyes suddenly cleared as he stared down at her, a look of adoration and disbelief written on his face. "I love you."

Milla froze, breath picking up at the words that left her boyfriend's lips just seconds ago. "Wha..."

James lets out an incredulous chuckle at the unexpected turn in their conversation, shaking his head at himself. "God, I'm so in love with you, Rosamund. Just the thought of you getting hurt, or losing you, it's crippling. And I can't believe I haven't realized this earlier. I'm so in love with you."

Finally, his words sinked in, and in a flash Milla breathes out a sound between a laugh and a sob before launching herself up, wrapping her legs around James' waist and pressing her lips against his. "Holy shit," she says between kisses. "Holy shit."

James moans before pulling away slightly so their lips still brush against each other as they talked and breathed. "You're amazing and I love you."

"James..." Milla bites her lip, pushing some of his curly hair out of his face. "I love you too."

"Well, you better— ouch!"

"You are such a bastard!" Milla says before grinning bashfully at him. "Just kiss me again, Potter!"


	36. Chapter 36

"I can't believe we're done," James breathes out, still processing the fact that they had just finished their NEWTs after weeks of endless studying.

Sirius yawned, stretching his arm over his head. "I, for one, am completely knackered. I'm not planning to use my brain until at least a month of rest."

"No, but I mean... in a few days, we won't even be students in Hogwarts anymore! How crazy is that?"

"I'm just glad I have time to read books I actually _enjoy_ reading now," Remus said, shrugging his shoulders. He had always been a very smart boy, but there's a thing called too much studying and he has done just that for his final exams. "How about you, Pete?"

The shorter boy wasn't paying attention, staring off into space. Remus called his name a few more times before he snapped back to reality. "Huh? What was that?"

Sirius rolled his eyes before throwing an arm over Peter's shoulder as the four of them began to walk down the hallway. "Nothing, Wormtail. Nothing at all."

James scanned the crowd in search for a certain blonde, his tall frame making him locate her in a matter of seconds. The curly-haired boy began walking towards his girlfriend, a grin playing on his lips.

Milla had been talking to a fourth year girl from Hufflepuff when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind in a familiar hug.

"Hey, you," James greeted, breath fanning against her pink cheeks. "How much time does it take for one girl to go to the loo?"

Smiling apologetically at the younger girl who had been in the process of asking her yet another question on how to become a prefect, Milla turned around and narrowed her eyes at James, still within his embrace. "You should never ask that question to a girl. Besides, there was a queue!"

"But you missed all our sentimental 'I can't believe this is over' crap!" The head boy pouted before leaning down to press a chaste kiss on Milla's lips. "Are you still helping me pack?"

The blonde nodded, brushing her bangs away from her eyes. "Yes, Merlin knows you need it."

"Hey!" James complained. "I am perfectly capable of packing my stuff by myself!"

Suddenly, a cackle could be heard behind them. The couple whipped around to see Peter, Sirius, and Remus watching their banter.

"Rosamund's helping you pack?" Sirius questioned, a laugh already bubbling from his throat. "That's incredibly domestic!"

The three troublemakers looked at each other before simultaneously saying, "Whipped."

"Wow, did you guys practice that?" Milla asks sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"In deed, we did, Rosamund." Sirius replied with a smirk. "Well, lads, I will see you at supper. For now, I've got some wooing to do." He eyed the retreating back of Marlene McKinnon before he winked at his friends as a farewell and followed after the witch.

Milla raised her eyebrows. "New girl of the week?"

"More like the girl who never gave him a chance since sixth year," Remus supplied with a chuckle. "Eh, it's Padfoot. She'll warm up to him."

"Good to know," she muses before turning to James. "You ready to go? We have a lot of packing to do."

James huffs at her teasing tone before grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers together. "Let's go."

-

Back in their dorm room, James and Milla were debating on who's going to pack first. The head girl insists that she's halfway done, and since James was the one who actually needs help, it would be more practical to get his done first. Of course, the bespectacled boy had to be stubborn and refuse.

"But I wanted to help you pack up your underwear drawer!" James whined but pulled out his suitcase anyways, throwing it on his bed with a thump.

Milla screwed her eyes shut, letting out a frustrated groan. "You are such a bloody pervert!"

"You love it," he winked playfully before beginning to pull out the clothes from his drawers and scattering them all over the bed beside the suitcase, leaving a few pieces for the last three days. "Hey love, do you reckon I would need another pair of boxers until we have to leave on Friday?"

Milla, who was starting to fold his clothes neatly on the other side of the bed, sighed dramatically. "How did you survive this long without becoming such a slob?"

"Easy. It's my rugged good looks. Keeps the blessings coming." He grinned before a shirt came flying straight towards him, covering his face. "I was kidding."

The blue-eyed girl scoffed, "Of course you were. Make yourself useful and clear away your nightstand, would you?"

"So demanding," James teased, shaking his head. "It's kind of hot."

Another shirt flew to his face in response. Flicking it off, he stood up to get the things in his nightstand, only to see a familiar record. "Wait a second," he smiles before sprinting outside and to Milla's room.

"What are you doing?" she called out after a few seconds of silence. Finally, James reappeared on his doorway, holding her record player. He headed straight to his nightstand and placed the box on the floor before putting on the record.

" _We_ are going dancing," he informed Milla with a smile as a fast-paced Beatles song filled the air. The head girl tried to protest but in a matter of seconds, James already spun her in his arms and forced her body to sway along with the music. "You can't say no."

She groaned before moving her body against the beat reluctantly, but instantly smiled at James' eager face. "You are such a dork. All this tough mischievous prankster shit is all to cover how much of a softie you really are on the inside."

"You have me all figured out," he admits jokingly before leaning over to kiss her, properly this time. They both moan at the contact, warmth spreading through their bodies immediately.

James was sure he will never get tired of kissing Milla Rosamund. Every kiss was different somehow, leaving him craving for more and more. It was addicting, but he was in love with it, with her.

"James..." Milla trailed off, hands trailing down his chest. The head boy hummed in response and instead directed his kisses to her neck, making her breath hitch. "I don't want to wait anymore."

James pulled away, confused. "Huh?"

Milla had to refrain from rolling her eyes at her idiot of a boyfriend and instead, feeling a little bolder, shrugged off her robe and pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her in only a periwinkle lacy bra and her school skirt. "Take me."

The head boy's jaw dropped open, eyes unable to leave his girlfriend's heaving breasts. "I..."

"Please," she whispered, and that was all it took before James scooped her up in his arms and tossed her on the bed, making her bounce lightly. Milla pushed the huge suitcase off to make more room, wiggling to make herself more comfortable on top of the clothes they were supposed to be packing up.

James wasted no time, unhooking Milla's bra and tugging them down gently before his mouth found one of her pink nipples, sucking on the hard bud and making her gasp. His skilled hands travelled the expanse of her toned stomach and onto her skirt, taking them off as well.

"Fuck, wait!" Milla suddenly cursed, sitting up.

James halted his ministrations to look up at her, confused and breathing heavier in anticipation. "What?"

"I'm wearing my period panties," she pouted, making the head boy laugh out loud. "All my sexy ones are already packed up."

His laughter only got louder, and soon Milla found herself giggling along with him. "It's not funny!"

"It kind of is," James retorted, shoulders shaking as he tried to calm himself down.

"I have totally ruined the mood, now, haven't I?"

The curly-haired boy shook his head profusely, lifting off his own shirt to prove his point. "Never. You can never kill the mood," he presses a kiss on her belly button, hands slightly pushing at her chest to get her to lie back down. "Besides, I think your period panties are hot."

"No you don't," Milla snorted, not believing him. "You're just saying that because you're so sexually frustrated and desperate to get— oh!"

James pulled off her white floral cotton panties off harshly, not allowing her time to react before licking a bold stripe down her already dripping heat. "God, I've missed tasting you."

"Me too," she says shakily, fingers gripping the clothes underneath her as James continued his assault on her warm heat, varying between licking and sucking her bundle of nerves. She lets out a loud cry when he suddenly enters two long fingers inside her, arching off the bed.

James stops for a second, making Milla whine in protest, to undo his pants and kick them off along with his checkered boxers. She took that time to nip at his chest and neck, tasting his sweat under her tongue. He absentmindedly reaches for his discarded wand on the floor and casts a contraceptive spell on the head girl.

"I... I need to feel you," He says, apologetic for the lack of foreplay. It had been so long, _too damn long_ since he had her like this, all dripping and wet and ready just for him. The four months he spent waiting seemed like it was millions of years ago. All that mattered at that moment was that he was about to feel her, all of her, and he was about to make her feel how much he loved him. He positioned himself in front of her soaked entrance. "I need to..."

Milla tugged at his arms to pull him up, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you."

"I love you too," he says back, pressing a searing kiss to her lips just as he pushed inside her warmth, swallowing both their moans.

She gripped him so well, clenching around his girth and feeling so warm. _So fucking warm_. James adjusted her so that one of her legs rested on top of his shoulder before thrusting back in, deeper than before. The new angle caused her to almost scream his name, her nails raked across his muscular back.

"F-feel so good," he grunted, slamming against her so hard the bed frame knocked against the wall every time. "Oh!"

Milla leaned in for a kiss, their tongues pressing hotly together and their teeth gnashing. James pulled his hand from her leg and massaged her engorged clit, making her pull away. "James, oh, yes!"

It was such a tight fit that Milla could almost feel the large vein lining his cock. "You're so deep, oh you're in so deep!"

"Do you like that, love?" James groaned out, quickening his pace.

"Oh, yes!"

He fucked her into the mattress, Milla crying out with every thrust. "James, I-I can't."

"Yes you can," he gritted his teeth, sweat breaking on both of their foreheads. "I know you can handle me, baby."

"Ah!" Milla shouted, arching off the bed. "I'm going to cum! Please make me cum!"

James went even faster if possible, lowering his head to suck on Milla's breasts with one hand cupping and squeezing her bottom and guiding her up to meet his thrusts. "Let go, baby."

With a shout of his name, Milla came harshly, her core clenching furiously and blue eyes rolling back. James followed soon after, releasing inside her with a grunt as they rode out their orgasms together.

Panting heavily, James carefully pulled himself out and collapsed on top of Milla, making her whimper in response. "Am I crushing you?"

The head girl shook her head no, blonde hair wildly spread out and bangs sticking on her forehead. "I like it when you crush me."

"Minx," he teased with a soft nip on her earlobe, finally feeling tired after the strenuous activity they had partaken in. Milla tugged at his hair to bring his face closed before pressing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Love you," he murmurs against her lips, feeling it tug up in a smile.

"Love you too."


	37. Chapter 37

The loud chatter of the student body fell on deaf ears as Milla maneuvered through the crowd with her suitcase and travel bag in both hands, heading towards the four boys speaking animatedly at the other end of the open space. They were waiting for the train due in half an hour that would take them back to King's Cross Station for the last time.

The Head Girl badge Milla stored away in the back pocket of her high-waisted jeans seemed to grow heavier with each step she took. It's as if it was only yesterday that she boarded the train at the start of the term, unsure about her position and dreading the loneliness she was so sure she would face without her brother. But as her eyes found its way to a mop of brown curls facing away from her, she realized that she couldn't be any happier.

"Milla!" Remus called out when he saw the blonde trying to make her way to them. James turned around and grinned widely at her, an eye dropping into a wink.

Finally after what seemed like forever, she reached the four, dropping her bag on the floor with a heave of air. Turning to James, she mustered up a glare. "Thanks for the help, you arse."

"I asked you if you needed help and you said no!" James gaped.

Sirius patted a hand on his shoulder, chuckling. "Mate, when a girl tells you no, she really means yes."

"See?" Milla gestured toward the long-haired boy. "Sirius gets it."

The head boy only rolled his eyes before draping an arm over her shoulders to press their bodies together. "Is Maxwell picking you up or are you taking the—what do you call it? Bus?"

"Max says he'll be there to lecture you some more about kick-boxing," she answers, causing the head boy's face to turn pale. Their friends laughed simultaneously while James grumbled under his breath.

"Why are you always so mean to me?" He pouted at Milla, stomping his feet like a child. "You're my girlfriend! You're supposed to love me!"

Milla laughed at his silliness, reaching up to put away a few stray brown curls from his forehead. "But I do love you. I just also love being mean to you."

James smirked, pulling her body closer and whispering in her ear. "You also love making love to me."

"I think I'm going to throw up," Sirius fake gagged, leaning on Remus who patted his back sympathetically.

Taking a quick glance at her wristwatch and seeing that there was still half an hour left, Milla announced that she needed to freshen up before going home, leaving the four boys to themselves yet again.

"So," Remus started, throwing one arm around Sirius and another over Peter and looking at James with a pointed look. "This will be the last that Hogwarts would see of the Marauders. Got anything planned, lads?"

James perked up, eyes shining with mischief. It's been a while since he'd partaken in a good prank. Being Head Boy kind of forced him to lay low for the whole term. It was no doubt that the bespectacled boy missed being a trouble maker. He lived for the adrenaline and the rush and the laughter it brought. And the best part of it was he gets to share it with his three best mates.

"I saw this spell that could turn the Slytherin robes pink!" James says excitedly, earning a fist bump from Sirius.

"That's wicked, Prongs!" The long-haired boy says, grinning evilly.

Peter chuckled and shook his head at the familiar exchange but didn't offer any words. Remus, on the other hand, frowned. "Absolutely not!"

"But Moony, why?" James and Sirius whined at the same time.

Suddenly, Remus' frown was replaced by a smirk. "Not when there's a spell that could turn them see-through."

-

Milla made her way back inside the castle, smiling to those who greeted her. Taking her time, she let her blue eyes wander over all the intricate details on the walls, the paintings and the color schemes of what had been her home for more than seven years. She didn't want to forget a thing about it.

Reaching the nearest loo, Milla almost bumped into two girls. "I'm so sorry, I spaced out—"

Right in front of her stood Marlene McKinnon with an eyebrow raised, arms interlocked with a frozen Lily Evans.

"Lily," she breathed out, not knowing what else to say. The redhead looked shocked and unprepared for the confrontation, mirroring Milla's expression. There was, after all, a reason why Lily lets her rounds partner do all the reports at night. She was clearly avoiding the couple.

Lily turned to her friend beside her who was still giving the head girl a mean stare. "You go ahead without me, Marlene."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'll be right behind you." She assured, smiling gently to ease the girl. After giving Milla a long look one last time, Marlene reluctantly walked off, leaving the two girls alone.

Milla tried to open her mouth and say something, but no words would come out. Should she feel ashamed? Sorry? Guilty?

The truth was she wasn't sorry or ashamed or even guilty. She didn't do anything wrong. Yes, there had been an instance where James had kissed her while still being in a relationship with Lily. But Milla pushed him away. She didn't immediately get together with James to respect Lily. All she really ever did was love James Potter, and that was something she would never be ashamed of.

"How have you been, Milla?" Lily finally says, smiling the kind smile she always seem to wear.

Letting out a shaky breath, Milla tried to do the same, but it only ended up looking like a grimace. "Uh... Good. I'm fine. You?" She internally winced.

"Listen," Lily started, biting her lip. "I am in no way mad at you, okay? So you can stop being so awkward."

Sighing, the blonde looks up at the ceiling to gather her thoughts for a moment before finally locking her eyes to hers. "I'm not sorry for loving him...You get that, right?"

"Of course."

"However," Milla paused. "I am sorry that he broke your heart. No one deserves to feel that."

Suddenly, a large smile tugged at Lily's lips, her green eyes glinting. "Actually, I think I'm going to be fine."

"Wait, really?"

The prefect chuckled, looking down at her hands. "Let's be real here, Milla. I broke his heart way more times than he did mine. And I didn't even _notice_ it."

Milla stayed quiet, pondering over the bright witch's words.

"Maybe..." she trailed off. "Maybe that just means we're clearly not meant to be, you know? And I'm glad he found someone like you. He's whipped to the bone."

"Why does everybody keep saying that?" Milla says to herself, shaking her head.

Lily hesitantly puts a hand on Milla's shoulder, patting her softly. "So, I'm okay, Milla. And I'd really like it if we could be friends again."

Milla grinned, an invisible weight lifting off her shoulders. "Evans, who says we stopped?"

-

When the head girl came back to find a bunch of Slytherins screaming with see-through robes and their underwear completely exposed, she didn't have to guess what happened.

"Fucking divas," she muttered under her breath. "Really couldn't stand the thought of going out without a bang."

Reaching the four lads who may as well be dying of too much laughter, she smacked each of them by the back of the head, resulting in several tones of "ow's".

"I don't even have to ask whose idea this was," She tried to contain her smile, mustering up a hopefully convincing glare in James' direction.

The head boy's jaw dropped, an offended expression taking place. "Why do you always assume that I'm the culprit?"

"Aren't you?"

He huffed, flicking his hair from his face. "For your information, this see-through robe thing was actually Remus' idea."

"Remus!" Milla gasped playfully. "I've never been more disappointed!"

The scarred boy rolled his eyes. "Right. And that isn't a smile I'm seeing in your face now."

Milla shrugged, finally letting a few giggles out.

"You've got to admit," Peter spoke up. "It was pretty funny."

She hesitated for a second before finally giving in. "Fuck yeah."

"Language," The voice of McGonagall coughed from behind them, causing the five to spin around. "I do not condone cursing from my Head Girl, Miss Rosamund, even if it _is_ your last day."

Milla smiled sheepishly. "My apologies, professor."

"Apology accepted. Now, to more serious matters," Everyone looked at Sirius who was having a cough-fit to conceal his laughter before Mcgonagall sighed irritatingly. "To more _important_ matters, you five are being requested in Professor Dumbledore's office. Good luck."

Remus cleared his throat, stepping out. "Are we in trouble, professor?"

"Well, I wouldn't know, Mr. Lupin. I'm just the messenger. Why don't you lot find out for yourselves?"

The trip to Dumbledore's office was filled with sarcastic remarks and theories, so dumb that Milla had to refrain herself from strangling the boys more than once.

"What if we're getting recognition for being the amazing wizards we are?"

"Oh, that would be wicked!"

"I reckon it's about the see-through robes."

"Who are you kidding? Of course it's about those!"

"You didn't kills Snivellus, did you?"

"Don't be stupid, Prongs, I wouldn't go as far as killing a walking nose. He's far too rare for this world!"

"Did you and Rosamund get caught going at it?"

"Two butterbeers say it's about that time we sneaked into the dungeons and filled the Slytherin dorms with frogs."

"But that was last year!"

Milla scrubbed her face in irritation. "Would you guys stop? Merlin, you are acting like five year-olds!"

Finally, they reached Dumbledore's office, the door opening even before they said the password. The five of them shared wary glances before the head girl sighed.

"You called for us, Professor?" Milla was the one who asked, stepping inside, pulling James by the hand with the other boys in tow. She was shocked to see Marlene and Lily there as well, standing awkwardly in front of the headmaster's desk. Immediately, she tried to let go of James' hand but he only tightened his grip, intertwining their fingers.

"Yes, come inside, all of you."

The seven students exchanged confused looks, but hustled together in front of the headmaster.

"Now that you are leaving Hogwarts to pursue different paths, it is only my duty to make sure your potential would not be wasted. I know your skills, your beliefs, your capabilities. And I know that you are all good people, deep in your heart."

They didn't answer, only getting more confused by the second. Milla looked over to her right where James stood, already trying to catch her eyes. She raised an eyebrow in question but he only shrugged his shoulders, feeling clueless himself. Not knowing what to expect, she squeezed his hand, making the curly-haired boy to pull her closer until she was tucked safely in his arms, and pressing the lightest of kiss on top of her blonde head.

"I wouldn't ask this of you, so young as you are, if these weren't such desperate times." Dumbledore sighed before clasping his fingers together and leaning forward.

Lily cocked her head to the side. "What is it, professor?"

Dumbledore looked at each of them for a second before a small smile appeared on his face. If he was making a mistake for choosing the seven students that stood curiously in front of him, he wouldn't know. But that was a risk he was going to have to take.

Finally, the headmaster opened his mouth, letting out words that Milla and the others would never have imagined him to say.

"Have you heard of The Order of the Phoenix?"

 

_**the end** _


End file.
